My life is perfect. Being this amazing should be bad for my health.
It was the first day of my junior year of high school, and I started it brimming with confidence. Having a massive fan base sure does wonders for your self-esteem.
As I walked down the sidewalk of West Bridge High School trailed by a group of lovely girls, I thought about how school was going to go today. It was still early in the morning, and the bell had just rung.
As more girls saw me, the group began to build up in my wake, and I could hear whispers of the conversations happening behind me.
"Hey, it's Aidan." one girl pointed out to another.
"What? Where is he?" another girl asked the first.
"Look where I'm pointing!" the first one practically screeched.
"You're right! It is Aidan!" the other girl said with an adoring look.
"Good morning, Aidan wanna walk home together after school ends?" one girl said with a sweet voice, hugging my arm tightly.
Another voice suddenly cut in, "Hey, wait a minute, why are you getting so clingy to Aidan, stop being so friendly to him, stay away! He's mine bitch!" she said with a dangerous glint in her eyes while she pried her new' rival' off my arm.
"What did you say, fatty?" the first said rudely.
The other retorted," Shut it, flat chest."
The same insults came once more.
They stood there, repeating the identical defamations over and over again in a fierce battle of stubbornness, neither willing to back down. They were too caught up in their argument to realize that I had left them behind, going on my merry way to class.
"Wait for us!" the high-spirited band of girls shouted as they ran to catch up with me.
"Ugh, I'm late on my first day of school," I said with a sigh as the second bell for class chimed its usual tone.
My name is Aidan Fuller, and I'm seventeen years old. I guess you could call me good looking, and I take full advantage of that. Having a massive group of fangirls around me at all times may get slightly annoying, but the benefits greatly outweigh the costs. Usually, I can just ask them to get something for me or even have them let me copy their homework, and they will comply with no questions asked.
Finding my classroom, I opened the door and made my way inside. Making a beeline for my seat in the back, I stared out the window, daydreaming. Honestly, school was so boring. There was absolutely no purpose in learning anything past the 6th or 7th grade! It's not like I'll be using the Pythagorean Theorem to determine the length of a streetlight's shadow anytime soon.
Don't even get me started on that monstrosity you call calculus. Honestly, what's the point of finding the limits of a function? When in my life am I going to need to pull out my calculator and figure out these numbers? If you ask me, the person who invented calculus should just go kill themselves. Oh, wait. They're dead. Ha, suck it, you had it coming man. Devising this torture, I'm surprised you didn't suffer a worse fate.
My thoughts were interrupted when I felt someone tap my shoulder. It was my friend Andrew. He's one of those nerdy types and is probably in the top 3 students in our school in terms of GPA. Andrew is really a genius, he's already secured a full scholarship into the top 10 colleges in the country.
He leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Yo, Aidan. I heard there's a student transferring into our class from a foreign country."
I turned around so I could talk to him better. I started, "Do you know if it's a boy or girl?" He thought for a second and then gave his two cents. "I don't know for sure, but I heard it's a girl from Scandinavia."
At this point, I was pretty hyped. Another girl? That just meant another fan who was willing to do my dirty work. I'd probably have my fun with her being obsessed with me for a few days then throw her to the side just like all the others.
Andrew spoke up again, snapping me out of my daydreaming. Wow, I really do need to work on my attention span. Actually, there really isn't a reason to. Nothing really deserves my attention anyway.
"So, do you think she is the one?"
I mentally sighed. Andrew was always asking me about this 'one' who would actually get me. That's all hopes and pointless dreams. After all, I couldn't care less about finding a woman. All I need is myself and my charms, and I can get most of the things I want in life.
"Absolutely not. There isn't one, and there never will be," I said.
Andrew spoke again in a giddy tone, "You never know, maybe there might be."
"Very funny," I said sarcastically.
Our conversation was cut short by our teacher standing in the front of the class and loudly clearing her throat. She must be telling us about the new transfer student. Ms Fernandez announced, "Good morning everyone, I hope you had a good summer. This year, we have a new addition to our class. Please treat her well, as she is not used to being in this country."
I noticed Ms Fernandez had told us to treat 'her' well, so I guess the rumors Andrew had heard were correct. The new student walked in, and the first thing that I noticed about her was her snow-white hair. I then got a good look at her face. She was definitely better looking than average, but nothing too special in my books. I guess the white hair is the only thing that differentiates herself from the others in our school.
She stood in the front next to Ms Fernandez and bowed down. "Hello, I am Ashley Silva, I look forward to being in this class."
I guess bowing is a custom where she comes from. She has a lot to learn around these parts. At our school, if you bow, it's basically saying to the other people that you're below them and that you are showing that you recognize your inferiority. What she just did was almost like saying she would be everyone's guinea pig.
The class promptly burst into laughter after she finished her statement. Ashley looked around confused, probably wondering if she had said something wrong. I saw Ms Fernandez lean over to whisper something in Ashley's ear, perhaps telling her something about the bowing and how she shouldn't do it again. Ashley gave a slight nod and started to make her way towards the empty desk next to mine.
I smiled in her direction. Surprisingly, she didn't smile back. No, scratch that, I don't even think she noticed me! That's odd. There isn't a single person who would think I'm unattractive. Hell, even some dudes think I'm hot! My presence in school is massive, and for her to not notice me was absolutely crazy! This had to be a fluke. She may have gotten the best of me for now, but I will definitely make her obsessed with me. No one simply ignores me and gets away with it.
After the usual dull school day, the bell finally rang, signifying my freedom from this torturous place called school. Sure, I liked being surrounded by these worshipers, but sitting through class learning about useless subjects is much more painful than the benefits of having my little army follow me around. I walked on my usual path home, with the typical horde of fangirls following suit, but I noticed something weird in the corner of my eye. Ashley appeared to be walking into an alley with some suspicious people.
All of my instincts were flaring up at this point. She was new to this country, and might not suspect the usual schemes that everyone else knew to avoid. That alley was very far back, and unless you had a pair of binoculars, it was almost impossible to see what was happening there. I might have been slightly off-put by the way she reacted to my glorious self at first, but I'm not that cruel to let her be taken to some alley and sold to the black market. Plus, if I can save her from these thugs and show off my strength, I can maybe allure her with how manly I am! There's absolutely no way she would be able to resist me after that.
I followed them into the alley, making sure to put a reasonable amount of time before I went in. After all, what good is there when there isn't a situation to save her from? As soon as I heard some shuffling and a couple of grunts, I knew it was time to make my appearance.
"What's happening here?" I said, cracking my knuckles in the process. I took a good look at what was happening before me, expecting a damsel in distress, but what I saw shocked me. It was gruesome, but not in the way I was anticipating.
I stumbled back a few steps, and fell back onto a pile of trash, falling flat on my ass. Clumps of garbage fell over me, smearing everywhere across my clothes, but that was the least of my worries.
Ashley was towering over at least seven stocky guys, all of whom looked like they worked out at least 50 hours a week. Their limbs were mangled all over the place, with some even having bones jutting out of their arms. Blood was everywhere, coming from their heads to their feet. I didn't dare step forward. The amount of bodily fluids on the alley floor was so much that any mistake could cause you to slip. There was a trail of liquid going from the floor to one of the guy's pants. It looked like he wet himself.
For the most part, I would find a tough guy peeing his pants pretty funny. However, the numerous other circumstances I found myself in, scared me shitless. I didn't dare make a sound. Had Ashley done this to all these guys? What if she does the same to me?
She suddenly turned her heads towards me. I noticed an unnatural red glow coming from her eyes.
Please, God, don't let her kill me. I'm too handsome to die, I thought, Without me, the average attractiveness of our school will plummet.
Ashley began walking towards me, and my heart sank. I guess this is how it ends. I just wish I had at sex more, that stuff was so good, I gave my final prayers, closed my eyes, and hoped it was a painless death.
I sat in the heap of garbage for a solid minute, body all tensed up. The footsteps grew louder as she inched closer, and I gave up on worrying, instead waiting for my inevitable doom and accepting my fate. But... it never came.
The footsteps grew louder until they were right next to me, but then started decreasing in noise until it sounded like they had left the alley. I opened my eyes. She had left. No one was in sight except for the unconscious bodies of those thugs.
It was a miracle. I survived.
I lifted myself up from the filthy mound, dusting myself off in the process. I always have to look presentable. After all, you never know when there will be a girl to play with. Looking like a homeless man is an instant turn off, so I tried my best to get rid of the visible smears. The smell was not going to go away anytime soon. This stench definitely called for a few visits to the laundromat with extra strong detergent.
Making my way towards the exit of the alley, I started to think about what I was going to have for dinner. Take out? No, I already had enough Chinese food for this week. Microwave dinner? I don't think I have any left. I guess all that's left is to cook myself some good old grub from scratch.
As I was deep in thought, I finally approached the part where the alley met the streets, but as I tried to take a step out, my foot hit something. That was interesting, as I clearly saw that there was nothing in front of me. Slowly, I pushed my foot forward, and once again, I hit this invisible barrier. I tried to walk through, only to be pushed back by this unseen force.
Suddenly, a pristine voice made itself known behind me.
"Aidan Fuller, you have shown great courage and ✧comradery✧. I have been observing you throughout the day, and all of your actions have made me feel that your character is ~~perfect~~."
"Wha- Wait- Who are you? What are you doing? What do you even mean? Why does your voice sound like one of those P****** Premium ads?"
The voice let out a hearty chuckle.
"You are an interesting one, my boy. You are lucky, as you have been chosen by me, the beautiful and awesome angel Gabriel, to save another world. You will have to do quests, learn skills, fight enemies, gain allies, kill bad guy-"
I cut her short.
"That sounds like a very serious thing, what in the world do you think makes me qualified to be the savior of an entire world?" I asked.
The voice made a confused yip.
"You are definitely qualified! After all, I saw you do so many righteous deeds today! Being such an awesome person and compassionate boy makes you the perfect person for this job. Only the selfless can do it after all."
What. The. Fuck.
When did I ever do a selfless deed today? I literally just went about my usual routine by relishing in the fangirl screams. If this person had been watching me for the whole day, they would have seen that although I tried to 'protect' Ashley, she was the one who had beat up the thugs, not me.
I spoke, hoping to get out of this situation so I could just go home and shower. "You must have the wrong guy, I don't recall ever doing anything that you are describing."
"You are too humble. Even after doing so many good things you keep yourself from being narcissistic by reminding yourself that all of your deeds are the norm and nothing out of the ordinary. Was it not you who welcomed the new student in class with a warm smile?"
This angel has got to be mentally retarded or something.
"Hey Gabriel, that's your name, right? You know not all smiles are meant in a good way, right?"
"Huh? If you are smiling, then it means you are happy, does it not? Being happy means you are nice, and you were welcoming that girl! Ah, just thinking about your warm smile to that girl makes me feel all tingly inside. I feel the same kindness you probably meant towards her."
Yup, definitely retarded.
"And not just that, you not only welcomed her into class, but you were the only person in class who wasn't laughing at her when she introduced herself. Do you know how much that means to me? Seeing these acts of kindness take place gives me such happy thoughts!"
This angel actually sees everything in a good light. I bet if I killed a dog in the streets, she would find some stupid reason that killing the dog was a good thing, probably something like 'putting the dog out of its misery before it succumbed to plague'.
The stupid voice spoke again. I swear this voice is actually identical to those P****** Live ads, had I not witnessed the stupidity of this angel firsthand, I would actually be turned on right now.
"And to top it all off, you were the one who jumped in this alley to protect that new classmate from those thugs! Sacrificing everything for someone you just met. That takes some real courage!"
This angel said she was watching me the whole day, but if she was, she would have seen Ashley beat up those guys.
"Listen up, I didn't beat those guys to a pulp."
"Then who did? My magic tells me that there hasn't been anyone in the nearby area except for you, that girl, and these guys right here in the alley. There's no way a small girl would be able to beat up so many guys unless they were me of course. After all, I'm the most magical and coolest angel, Gabriel!"
I shook my head, "Trust me, it was Ashley, she had some crazy look in her eyes after beating those guys up."
"Giving others credit for something you did? You are too selfless! I am so proud of myself! I found this absolute epitome of the word 'hero'. That's it, no more discussing. You shall be my champion and save the world from evil right away!"
I felt a tap on my head, and a white light blinded me. I suddenly felt nothing underneath me, almost like I was falling.
I looked down.