A/N: Thank you so much for clicking on my story! I hope you enjoy!
"There is a fifty percent chance that this won't explode," Knightmare announced, pouring a concerning looking substance into a bubbling test tube.
Spinebreaker looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it supposed to explode? Isn't that, like, the point?"
Knightmare rolled her eyes. "I meant I was fifty percent sure that it wouldn't explode on us."
Eyes widening in alarm, Spinebreaker took several steps back. "That's fifty percent less than it should be!"
"Oh, hush. It probably won't-"
"No! There is a fifty percent chance it will go either way! Probably implies a majority, but a fifty/fifty percentage split, by definition, doesn't have a majority, so it will not 'probably not explode'!" Spinebreaker ranted.
"Says the chemist!"
"Hey! I am not a chemist! I'm a supervillain! The chemistry is just, like, a side thing!" Knightmare argued.
Spinebreaker huffed and gave Knightmare a shove that was somewhere between playful and painful. Right from the beginning, she knew that an alliance with Knightmare would be beyond aggravation for both of them. The only reason she had agreed to it was to defeat their common enemy- Captain Super.
Who had the worst name ever. Not that "Knightmare" was much better.
But despite the awful name, Captain Super managed to juggle two super rivalries- and be winning both of them. Spinebreaker couldn't bring dishonor to her supervillain family, so with no other options, she teamed up with the goofy, clumsy, and all around annoying Knightmare.
A decision she was regretting more and more each day.
"What's even the point of this anyway?" Spinebreaker asked, growing impatient. Knightmare had been staring at the test tube for five straight minutes.
"Hey! If you don't want this to explode, you need to shut up so I can concentrate!" Knitemare snapped.
"Concentrate on what? You're not even doing anything!"
Knightmare gasped, a look of betrayal on her face. "I'll have you know that- okay, fine. I'm not."
"So, what's the point of this?"
"Well, you see, we will sneak this lovely chemistry solution into Captain Super's house or whatever, and then it will explode on him, taking away his powers!"
"And there's a fifty percent chance it'll explode on us?!" Spinebreaker exclaimed. "That is the worst idea I've ever-"
"Oh, be quiet. It's probably down to forty percent by now anyway."
Not all reassured, Spinebreaker took another step back and stayed silent. Maybe a little concentration from Knightmare wouldn't be the worst thing.
But honestly! There was (at least) a forty percent chance that the two of them could lose their powers. Did Knightmare want to make them even more helpless against Captain Super? Spinebreaker's telekinesis still needed a heck of a lot of practice- what was Knitemare doing, risking that sort of setback? And Knightmare was just as bad with her invisibility. Yeah, getting rid of Captain Super's super strength was a good idea, but not with a good chance of this cost?
It was just Spinebreaker's luck that she got stuck with the most stupid villain in the world.
Spinebreaker threw an apprehensive glance at the power-removing solution. It was bubbling harder than ever, and the image of Knightmare hovering over it with too-big goggles and an intense expression on her face reminded Spinebreaker a bit too much of a mad scientist. And she was pretty sure she saw Knightmare mouthing the words "Seventy percent."
That was about seventy percent to high for Spinebreaker's taste. With one last concerned glance in Knightmare's direction, she walked out the door as quickly as she could without running and went into the next room over- her own lair.
While Knightmare's lair was basically a complete disaster- messy papers scattered all over desks and pinned to walls, a lab that looked like a middle school chemistry classroom that a tornado went through, and supersuits strewn all over chairs- Spinebreaker's was neat and organized, just like she (liked to think she) was.
One half of it closely resembled a gym, with weights varying in size all lined up. Unlike a gym, Spinebreaker tended to lift them up with her brain rather than with her actual muscles. The other half had a desk, with pencils neatly placed in a cup and a binder full of evil plans, organized by date and type. Her supersuits were tucked into a closet.
Based on the lairs alone, it was obvious who was a better villain.
Which was good. Spinebreaker's parents weren't completely happy with her villainry, but at least she wasn't disappointing them by being as much of a buffoon as Knightmare.
A loud shrieking noise interrupted her thoughts. "SPINEBREAKER! SPINEY!" (Oh, how she despised that nickname.) "HELP! IT'S ABOUT TO EXPLODE!"
Spinebreaker did not particularly want to go help Knightmare. If she lost her invisibility powers, that was her own fault- either for having this stupid idea, or for being so bad at chemistry. (Not that Spinebreaker could do better, but at least she wasn't dumb enough to try.) And anyway, Spinebreaker didn't want to get splashed by the exploding chemistry solution and lose her powers- that was why she retreated to her lair in the first place!
But against her better judgement, and not really knowing why, Spinebreaker went. Maybe it was because she knew she had no chance of beating Captain Super without Knitemare's help. Maybe it was because it was morally wrong to be able to help someone and decide not to (yes, supervillains occasionally cared about morals). Maybe- just maybe- it was because she was starting to like Knightmare just a tiny bit.
'Just a tiny bit' being the key part of the sentence!
But whatever the reason, Spinebreaker bolted to help Knightmare without even pausing to consider it, and she usually paused to consider everything. Just before it exploded, Spinebreaker grabbed the test tube telekinetically and pointed it away from the two of them. It exploded all over the wall…
But neither villain got a drop on them.
Wide eyed, Knightmare turned to Spinebreaker, jaw dropped. "I didn't think you would actually come to help me."
"Neither did I," Spinebreaker grumbled, her mouth smiling without her brain's permission. She fought to bring her face back to her usual scowl. "Don't get used to it."
"Thank you, Spiney."
"And don't call me Spiney unless you want me to break your spine."
Spinebreaker nearly screamed in frustration. Why had she saved Knightmare again? She was so… aggravating.
But if she was being honest with herself, she didn't totally regret her choice.
"What do you say we try this again?" she suggested.
Knightmare's mouth fell open in shock. Still breathing heavily, she said "Yeah. Good idea."
Spinebreaker tied up her frizzy black hair- one of the only things she remembered from eighth grade chemistry, which Knightmare had neglected to do. "Okay. This time, I'm not letting you do it by yourself while I watch and make snarky comments."
"Aww, thanks, Spiney!"
"Someone with intelligence has to work on it, after all," Spinebreaker grinned.
"Okay, so, you know more about chemistry than I do. Do you know which elements made it explode?"
After concluding that neither villain knew what the heck they were doing, they went to go steal some textbooks from a chemistry classroom. One sleepless night later, which included lots of caffeine, unhealthy snacks, bickering, and barely avoided fights to the death, they had a formula and were ready to try again.
"I'm fifty percent sure this won't explode," Knightmare said again, pouring a substance into the test tube for attempt number two.
"I'm at least ninety percent sure," Spinebreaker corrected.
"What happened to pessimism?"
"Well, I'm helping, and my intelligence is infallible. So my ego outweighs my pessimism," she explained.
"Ooookaayyy…" Knightmare said slowly. The two continued to work in silence, which was probably the longest they'd ever gone without talking. By the time they added the last ingredient, it had not exploded. "WOO! WE DID IT!" Knightmare yelled.
"We made the thing. Now we have to sneak it to Captain Super and see if it works," Spinebreaker argued, a smile tugging at her lips anyway. She forced it back into a scowl. "Do you have any empty bottles?"
"Not in here."
Spinebreaker gritted her teeth and concentrated on her mind reaching out to the kitchen, grabbing an empty soda bottle, and bringing it back to them. After it came zooming back to the pair, she was so exhausted that she flopped against Knightmare (who was, infuriatingly, six inches taller, proving that the world was completely unfair). Carefully, they poured the chemistry solution into the bottle. Spinebreaker twisted the cap on as tight as it would go before shaking it up. "Have a pen?"
"Yeah, it's in here somewhere, just let me find…" Five minutes later, Knightmare tossed it over to Spinebreaker, a triumphant look on her face. "Found it!"
"How do you live in this mess?" she grumbled, uncapping the pen. Big, neat letters relabeled the bottle "SUPER JUICE."
Knightmare snorted. "Super juice? Do you expect him to, like, actually fall for that?"
"Hey, he's a guy named Captain Super," Spinebreaker defended. "Super juice seems like the kind of thing he'd like."
After shaking up the bottle once more, they packed it into an old Amazon box. Spinebreaker left it on the doorstep and rang the bell before walking away, while Knightmare watched, invisible.
Just after Spinebreaker had gotten out of Captain Super's eyesight (but she still watched, curious to see what would happen), he opened the door. In a booming, ridiculous voice, he ripped open the box and announced "MY SUPER JUICE ARRIVED!"
Spinebreaker held her breath as he twisted open the bottle and-
"WHAT THE-" he shouted as he was covered in slimy chemistry goo.
She had to clap both hands over her mouth to keep from laughing. Now, all they could do was wait and see if it would work.
Their opportunity came several days later. An excessive amount of stalking (mostly on Knightmare's part) had shown that Captain Super always went to the Supergym on Tuesdays, so the plan to see if his super strength remained was formed. Spinebreaker argued and argued, but eventually Knightmare convinced her that since she couldn't turn invisible, it was too dangerous for her to come. She agreed on the grounds that Knightmare would videotape it.
Spinebreaker wasn't normally an impatient person, but half an hour after Knightmare left, she found herself unable to sit still. Five minutes later, but what felt like five years, Knightmare arrived. With an impressive poker face, she handed Spinebreaker the phone.
"TWO THOUSAND POUNDS! LET'S DO THIS!" he declared, picking up an enormous barbell. Upon being unable to lift it, he shouted several words that were definitely not family friendly. Spinebreaker guffawed at his misfortune.
"We did it!" Knightmare announced, with a totally adorable childish energy, and Spinebreaker was forced to reconsider every time she'd hated her villainous ally.
"Yeah, we did," she admitted finally, a wide smile that she wasn't even trying to fight on her face. "There's a fifty percent chance that we make an awesome team."
"One hundred!" Knightmare argued. Spinebreaker thought about it, smiled, and nodded.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this story! If you were planning on reviewing, let me know what you think of the cover- I think it's gorgeous, but I might be biased, seeing as I made it.
And please do leave a review! I love hearing feedback and an acknowledgement that someone read and liked my work.
Thanks so much for reading!