2. Mother Nature

Whenever I read child rape or abuse stats I can't help but narrative my life as if I were a serial killer. I can't help but grow more furious by the day. I can't help but daydream about murder as I can often hear the children screaming at me from the stars.

After studying crime and serial killers solidly for about seven years now I'd say there are four general ways to kill a person; all with their own characteristics and degrees of being undetectable and appropriate.

Killing people can be very complex, depending on the way you perceive it and the action or actions you take in accomplishing it. When I say, 'kill a person', I mean kill a person professionally. And by professionally I mean with reason. Killing people without reason is terrible, it's awful, in fact it's just as bad as significantly abusing children or animals; if you do it without reason – it's a suicidal offence. If you do not kill yourself someone else will do it for you – it might be painful, it might be torturous – it's always safer to just do it yourself.

Murder is one of the oldest crimes in the book, next to prostitution, rape, and robbery. And when comparing it to those in nature, it might be the most natural.

Most actors in nature consume other actors' lives in some way or another; from the animals that eat other animals, the animals that eat the plants, the animals that eat the bugs, the bugs that eat the bacteria, to the bacteria that eats the humans. Most things in life survive this way. We, as humans, call it the cycle of life.

Before DNA testing came out in the late eighties, you would have to be a fool or looking to get caught to get charged for murder. I say this as a white man. Being a black man, you could be charged with murder or rape for simply going through a drive-thru after work – RIP Timothy Cole.

Thanks to the new phenomenon of TV shows relating to crime scenes and the approach taken by law enforcement handling cases of murder, a common US citizen can essentially become a successful serial killer just by sitting on the couch watching television. Gangster rap music is another alternative if your stomach can't handle seeing David Caruso's bitch ass act like he's tough enough to be calm and collected around a brutally murdered human corpse.

The first way to kill a person is your typical 'on site' murder. These murders occur with lots of passion and emotion, and/or very desperate and unthoughtful decision making. These types usually happen with the motive being revenge or robbery. They usually happen by the means of stabbing, shooting, beating to death with bare hands or some kind of foreign object. The object can be anything, but it needs to be hard; a rock, phone, brick, lamp, frying pan, bottle, 2 x 4, bat, wrench, tire iron, lock, cane, toaster, and a gun (if you don't want to shoot it) have all been used successfully among other anonymous, dense objects. Often times, in these cases, the actor will leave behind incriminating evidence as well as being seen by witnesses (witnesses are the worst). The most horrendous form of this type of killing is called a murder spree.

A murder spree is different to a mass murder. Many people do not know this. Another term people often confuse, or blatantly assume wrong, is serial killing. All of these terms involve the death of multiple people, yet have distinct differences.

A murder spree is killing multiple people, three or more, in one setting then moving to a different place or setting, continuing to kill. The most famous is the Columbine incident, although what happened at the Virginia Tech Massacre was more recent and had nearly triple the death count.

A mass murder is killing multiple people, three or more, in a single setting. Most of the time, this is correlated with terrorism and bombings, such as the Oklahoma City bombing or the 9/11 terrorist attacks. But these can also happen with the use of firearms.

One of the best examples of a firearm mass murder happened in Killeen, Texas, 1991, when George Hennard crashed his pickup truck through the front window of a Luby's Cafeteria, shot fifty people, killing twenty-three, exchanged shots with responding police, and then hid in a bathroom and fatally shot himself.

The term "Going Postal" is derived from mass murder. Some will attribute this solely to Patrick Sherrill, the first postman to gun down his fellow employees, killing 14 excluding himself on August 20, 1986. But if you know the facts you know that the first recorded time the expression "Going Postal" was printed happened on December 17, 1993, in the St. Petersburg Times. There had been four more mass murders done by postal workers before this date. So it was clearly a compilation that led to the publication of the phrase, not that sole event.

I myself will agree that both mass murders and killing sprees can be easily confused and one could argue that they shouldn't be classified as different. But you should never not know the difference between those and serial killing.

Serial killing is traditionally defined as a person who has murdered two or more people over a period of more than a month, with downtime, a cooling-off period, between the murders. The motivation for killing is usually based on psychological gratification. Some sources, such as the FBI, disregard the 'three or more' criteria and define the term as 'a series of two or more murders, committed as separate events, usually, but not always, by one offender acting alone' or, including the vital characteristics, a minimum of two murders. Most of the killings involve sexual contact with the victim, but the FBI states that motives for serial murder include 'anger, thrill, financial gain, and attention seeking', which, in essence, is more or less why every crime is committed.

Another distinct and very concrete attribute of serial killing is that the murders may be attempted or completed in a similar fashion and the victims may have had something in common, for example, occupation, race, appearance, sex, or age group.

Serial killing is not the same as mass murdering, nor is it spree killing, in which murders are committed in two or more locations with virtually no break in between; however, cases of extended bouts of sequential killings over periods of weeks or months with no apparent cooling-off period or 'return to normalcy' have caused some serial killer experts to suggest a hybrid category of spree-serial killer.

The second way to kill another human is to snipe them. This simply involves an individual, an elevated or open yet hidden shooting area, and a sniper rifle. This method is good to use when your victim is in a large crowd or when your target is on a platform you can see but not get to.

When somebody is shot in America, people usually never presume a sniper. By the time they do figure out what's going on, you can be a million miles away. John F. Kennedy was killed by multiple sniper rifles.

The third and most complex, as well as one of my favorites, are frame murders. The best way to accomplish a frame murder is to make it look like a suicide. There are many elements that have to be met in order to accomplish this. First, you cannot force entry into the victim's house when doing the suicide replica. You can only do this if you are trying to make the frame a murder or a robbery. The problem with frame robbery is it comes with a large level of noise, confusion, and undetermined actions from both you and the victim. You can, however, immediately kill the victim and then take a few things and gently knock some shit around and make it seem that the robbery was the motive and it was a very chaotic and desperate scene.

I suppose the real problem is what do you do with the stuff? Taking it out leaves you vulnerable to intense suspicion, whether that comes via the neighbors or people driving, especially if it's a patrolman. Let's say you get the stuff to your car without anybody witnessing; now you have lots of evidence in your car. If you get pulled over, and you should ALWAYS think you will, and the cop does a basic search, and you should ALWAYS think he will, especially at night, then you're fucked.

Let's continue and say you get the stolen merchandise to your house; what do you do? You can't pawn a murder victim's stuff, especially one you recently murdered, and you can't be confident in selling it to others in case the cops get to them and they flip you. It sits at your house, more evidence, police raids, the only option is to burn it. Doing a frame suicide/murder requires none of this extra nonsense.

Frame murders with robbery as the intended motivation decoy is for fucking amateurs.

When doing a suicide frame you have to make yourself a ghost. Police must believe the individual was alone at the time or else they could easily start thinking homicide. You usually have to be creative to accomplish this. Befriending your victim is a great way to approach this, but often difficult when dealing with certain people, especially the ones I am after. Another option is dressing up as some kind of person that would normally or reasonably need or want to get in their home, such as a utility worker, police officer, firefighter, or even a door-to-door salesman.

If you're not up for summoning your inner Di Niro or Pacino, that's fine. Being the anti-social and bad actor that I am, I usually opt out of the acting gig, but doing this requires you to become a ghost, an apparition, moving with a flicker, a phantom, transitioning in a glimmer. A wise man once told me, "Real killers move in silence."

Once inside, the use of chemicals and sheer force becomes essential. You need to subdue your victim very quickly and precisely. You cannot leave signs of any kind of struggle or of another individual being there. Once you accomplish this, you are set.

Hanging is the third most common form of suicide, next to overdosing, and your number one method, firearms. Hanging should be number one when setting a frame for suicide. It is very hard to force random shit down people's throats, and a firearm produces a loud bang that enormously complicates and endangers your agenda.

Hanging somebody can be done in silence and looks very reasonable to a coroner. You can use numerous objects found in the house, such as extension cords, just about any article of clothing, sheets, shoestrings, ropes, and chains.

It is very common for individuals, especially adults, not to leave suicide notes. People usually know about their problems and usually suspect those as their motives. Everybody has problems, especially adults who are convicted sex offenders, so no note is fine. Then you disappear like a delusion.

The last and most effective murder method, in terms of not being able to be convicted at a fair trial, is the abduction disappearance murder. This simply means abduct your target and make them disappear. There is, of course, an art to this, just like the frame murders, with strong creative attributes. Many times, this is easier to execute than the frame murders. No pun intended.

There are many ways to get the target into your possession. Examples of this may be as stupid as telling them they won something or that there's free shit somewhere, or complex things like convincing them they need to be somewhere for legal reasons. Sometimes this is not the best way to go. Sometimes hard work is necessary to accomplish the abduction phase of this procedure. Knock-out chemicals, strength, and spectacular technique may be necessary, or at least very useful, and many times it's all you really need.

The next step in this procedure is very easy and you have numerous options to carry this out. Whether you're creative or not, is not necessary. Do whatever you feel or believe fits the crime. Feel free to generate various forms of torture in this step. Like I said before, every target is different as well as every executioner. But always remember that you can't ask somebody else to clean up your mess, so don't make a mess that's difficult to clean up.

The last step in this procedure is the most important. One very significant thing I have learned from studying the criminal justice system and murderers is that without a body you cannot be tried for murder. I mean, it's possible, but generally, without a human corpse, the DA will never waste their precious time trying to get you on circumstantial or second-rate evidence, especially if there's no connection between you and the victim.

If you have ever seen the movie Snatch, you will notice how the scary crime boss has a pig farm. He explains how easily the pigs will eat dead human bodies, even the bones. He needs this pig farm because he is in the business of murder and knows the 'no body, no crime' mantra.

Now I'm not telling you to go out and buy a fucking farm and start raising fucking pigs. I am simply using this as an example. Alligators work even better. Interesting fact: a common way for the Mexican cartel to dispose of bodies is vultures. Rugged and ruthless, these birds will eat a deceased human body as if it was a banana split. Constantly hovering above us as if they were God and everything on the ground are just peasants, God's entertainment, just waiting to die in vain in order for them to feast. The smell of death pleases the creatures. The smell of death means more life and survival for them. The cartel body disposers will post the body on a fence, slice it up, and then the birds come, and – boom! – no more body. After that they saw up the bones that still remain and then put them in a pile. They have some kind of special powder they sprinkle on top of the pile of sawed-up bones and the birds come back and eat them, consuming every single speck of evidence that the human ever existed.

Another thing cartels do is hang people off of bridges; always in the city so many people witness. No other gangsters around the world do this, not even American politicians. Politicians like fake suicides. They like to snuff out the message as soon as possible and stay low-key. The cartel hangs people for the opposite reason; they do it because they want to send a message …

If you don't have a message to send and/or don't want to use animals; there are chemical mixtures that you can obtain to basically make a human stew. You need either a bathtub or oil drum. The problem with this is it takes a long time, the chemicals can be hard to obtain if you're not resourceful, and you need lots of space because it's very messy with a significant odor. If you don't have neighbors that's great, but if you do, you might want to stick to working with Mother … Nature.