A Journey into the Realm of Complete Bollocks

Yeti

I am a yeti and my name is Thaitaechingshue, bit of a mouthful I know, even the locals call me Yeti, and westerners call me the abominable snowman, I'm not saying that's less of a mouthful, but I understand them not using Thaitaechingshue. I even introduce myself as bob to make it easier on them, not that people talk to me much, people aren't very social creatures. The last human I introduced myself to just kept shouting, OH MY GOD! And after shouting that three times he fell backwards off the cliff, I'm not sure what god the human was referring to, maybe his gods name was the ear-piercing scream he made before he died? Very inconsiderate that was, could have caused an avalanche screaming he's god's name out like that, and I didn't want to dig him out of ten feet of snow to eat him, keeps them fresh mind. I do hope he didn't make yellow snow; it puts me off eating them when they do that.

I get so lonely out here on the mountains, just last week I fucked a snow drift in the shape of a female yeti's behind, and I was in like a shot and balls deep in snow. Worse was the fact that all that snow was clinging to a boulder, and so on top of a frost-bitten penis, I damn near broke my dick off on that erotically shaped snow boulder. I believe I'm the last Thaitaechingshue, or Bob left on earth! I can't remember the last time I saw a female, or male, I'd fuck anything just to keep my dick warm.

Well my penis has healed from the frostbite boulder mishap, now I'm off to hunt, fuck and eat a human, I do hope they don't do all that, oh my god! Stuff again, what with all the shrieking their gods name, which just sounds like shrieking to me. Maybe their god is hard of hearing, that would explain why their god lets them get eaten alive, he just can't hear them.

I ate an entomologist once, shortly before he started with the, oh my god! Nonsense he mentioned that prey mantis eats their partners during copulation. I think I'm going to give that a try, and I don't mind the shrieking and making of yellow snow when I fuck them, it turns me on, but not when I'm eating them, yuk! I will let you know how it goes, and a good luck to you.