A Journey into the Realm of complete bollocks

I'm Not Chinese

I am Fu Stereo Type Oriental Man Choo, it's a bit of a mouthful for you western types, and so I often tell you cow eyed westerners my name is Bob, and it's easier to put on a Starbucks cup. Oddly enough I have never met anyone called Bob, except sponge Bob square pants. You may well ask, what are you doing here in the west Fu Stereo Type Oriental Man Choo? And I would answer "just call me Bob, you slow minded western scum" and "why do you all look surprised, all the time" I might even point out the movie the wives of Fu Stereo Type Oriental Man Choo, and if you have seen it, then surely your question should be, how do you manage? Not why are you here? I have 99 problems and the bitches are all of them. I should have thought it through, that many wives on paper sounds good, but in practice, not so much. I am fucking exhausted all the time, and I could be the first man to die of dick fatigue, it's all I can do to get any evil done at all. It's a hobby more than an occupation these days, what with the kids I barely sleep at all.

Now back to you cowed eyed, confused looking idiots. Firstly, I am not Chinese, I'm Filipino you fucking morons. You British are racist arrogant, bastards and you still wonder why your colonies wanted you out of their countries? They hate you, because they met you at the business end of a rifle, and that's how the relationship went until they dumped your sorry arse, like the abusive prick you are, and just like an abusive partner you still try and make your ex pay for daring to break up with you. So stupid you lost your superpower status to the Americans, that must make you all sick to see the thick Yanks out smart you! They make you look like lap dogs, fawning over whatever Dollars you can get, and selling out your own countrymen. America's bloody minded stupidity will cause it to lose its top dog status to china of course, and no I won't tell everybody I'm Chinese then, because I'm not fucking Chinese you dullards, and non-westerners would notice this bloody obvious clue even if you can't.

In truth you all look the same to me as well Spanish, British, German, French and Dutch, it doesn't matter. As your all tall, cow eyed, pasty white lumps, which is why you let the black people do your sports for you. Whatever you do don't teach them cricket, darts and snooker or you white people won't have any sports left. Europe is the worst offender, you came from a country we drenched in blood, and you've been here five whole months. Then you're welcome to join the Olympic team for your brand new nation, Who couldn't have given the tiniest shit about you before that moment. If you want in? Then you run, jump or play football, or you can fuck right off! We also need doctors and nurses to, in fact anybody who hasn't gone through our backwards education system is good. You just keep on exploiting and telling everyone how charitable you all are. 50% of the Philippines GDP comes from workers abroad, who are routinely exploited whichever country they find themselves in, and now you begin to see.

I hate you all so much! That is why I'm here doing evil. You fuckers have brought it on yourselves, just like me and the many wives thing. Not that I get any credit for it, you just blame it on the Chinese anyway. It's not always the Muslims and Chinese you know, lots of other people hate you to.

Yours truly Fu Stereo Type Oriental Man Choo.