A Journey into the Realm of Complete bollocks

Holiday of A Lifetime

I got married when I was 19 to the man, I was dating for 4 years, we met when I was 15 and he was 18. I was young and had not even been abroad, and after 15 years of marriage my boring husband decided to take me to New Zealand, but only after 10 years of nagging and begging. My sister had moved out there and I have not seen her since, and I was the one who told her to go out there, and I wish I went with her. My husband hates to leave for foreign shores, he hates the heat, food and the locals not that he's been anywhere to find out for himself, and so our holidays consist of camping in tents. When we were young it was fun going to concerts taking drugs and parting all night, but now it's just camping with the man I spend all day, and every day with, doing nothing.

We were at a waterfall, one of the many natural beauty walks in New Zealand, and as we were walking back, he wanted to stop to take yet more photos of water moving quickly. As he was looking over the edge with his back to me, I pushed him over the ledge, and then he was gone. People had warned us not to go into the water, as the rapids were to strong for even the best swimmers, and the waterfall would absolutely kill you if you weren't drowned before that. There were not too many people around, but some people came to help, but he could not swim as he never cared for water much, or spicy food, nights out, drinking alcohol or more than one sex position.

They never found the body, they said it must have been swept out to sea or got trapped under the waterfall and could not be retrieved. I used that as an excuse to emigrate to New Zealand, as I was still clinging to the hope, he might still be alive somewhere, and my sister is here to help console me. That and loads of men in there 20's with beach bodies and the sex moves of porn stars, and thank God for the internet for teaching the youth of today how it's done.

I sold everything back home and I have moved into a lovely house by a lake, my 28-year-old boyfriend lives with me and I'm pregnant with my first. My life has really taken a turn for the better and I have my husband to thank for it all, and not just his million-dollar insurance policy. If he had not brought me here to find myself, I would still be back home watching box sets on TV waiting for my life to end. Nowhere to go and not much to do, and the rest of your life feels like pushing a boulder up a mountain with no relief in sight.

I hope this is a lesson to the rest of you, don't let it get to that stage where you have to kill your husband to get a life, kill him straight away and get on with the rest of your life. Goodluck ladies.