Ugh, I hate getting shampoo in my eyes. Ow ow ow... ack! … better. It always feels better letting the shower spray on my face before I finish rinsing everything else off. Aah, now to turn the Hot water dow– wtf? Where'd the water go? What happened to the lights?

"Who the hell are you?!" I shriek, looking at the weird group being all socially-distant from me. I find myself standing on rock-slab ground, strange symbols painted in several circles, at which I'm at the center. I'm naked (duh!) and dripping, and the only lights are from the ten candles and the stars above.

"What the hell's going on, here?!" I yell, dropping down, to try and cover my body with arms and knees and drippy hair. The twelve robed figures start muttering to each other, and the one in the fanciest robe, the one with embroidery that matches what's painted on the ground around me, steps forward.

"YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED!" the figure intones, the voice neither masculine nor feminine, but echoing throughout the area. The candle flames flicker. "YOU HAVE BEEN SUMMONED TO HELL! WE HAVE BROUGHT YOU HERE, TO DO OUR BIDDING! THE WORDS HAVE BEEN SPOKEN! THE SYMBOLS IGNITED! YOU WILL GIVE US YOUR POWER!"

"Uh, the fuck?" I ask, completely baffled. "Dude. I was in the shower. How can I do anything when I'm stark-fucking-naked?! What power?! I'm human! You're demons, or devils, or whatever... I got nuthin'!"

"BY THE SEVEN NAMES OF Wait, what? You're human?" The speaker pulls a weighty tome from apparently nowhere, and starts flipping through the pages. "Lysyrac, come here, cast a light so I can read this thing properly!"

Another robed figure scurries to the leader, and suddenly, an orb of sickly green light appears, about a foot over their heads. It's a bright orb, but the color is definitely unhealthy. But strong enough to read by. The leader mutters under its breath, as a clawed finger traces over what it's reading.

"Well, there's the problem. Some previous high priest allowed a drop of blood to land on this page, and when he wiped it off, made TNITFRA look like TNITERA. This is why we need to go digital!" He rants at his followers for some time, while I'm still crouched inside the summoning circle.

"Hey, uh, can ya'll send me back, please? I have work in the morning, and have to get up early for the bus," I explain.

The high priest makes a casual, dismissive gesture, and I find myself back in my shower, the water still running. And cold. Ugh.