"There's just so many options," I said worriedly.
"I know," It said. "But you should try to at least pick one."
"But what if I pick the wrong one?" I questioned.
"Then you either fix it or start again."
It was right. It always was, ever since everything always was. But I couldn't just listen for this was far too important. I needed this to be just right, no matter what. One slip-up and the whole thing is ruined forever. Well, I suppose that I didn't know if it was forever, but that's what it felt like.
"I choose…" I pondered.
"Yes?" It asked, excited.
"That one?" I said, unsure of my own choice.
"Perfect," It exclaimed. "Now start it!"
I began the starting process but I couldn't bring myself to finish it. There was something calling to me, telling me that I had picked the wrong one. Whether that was something real talking to me or if it was just my doubt, I did not know, but I listened to it anyway.
"No, I can't," I sighed. "That's not the right one."
"Listen, I know it's a tough choice, but you need to pick one at some point," It sighed. "I was much like you when I picked my first point, but I soon got sick of stressing about it and just began in a random spot and, while it's not perfect, it's still thriving after so long. And my next few that I had made after that are doing even better."
It did have a point. I've already spent so long focusing on just the beginning that I'll never be able to get to the end at this rate. But the beginning is the most important part and determines the ending. There are infinite beginnings, but only a single ending for each one. What if I choose the wrong beginning, and thus get the wrong ending? I can try to modify and change some things as they come, but large parts of it are out of my control. At least, they feel like they are.
"I just need it to be perfect," I said softly.
"Perfection is as real as these are," It replied.
"Well, these feel pretty real to me," I retorted.
I looked around at the infinite array of points of beginning before me. Each one was perfect in its own way and brought about its perfect middle and ending that matched the beginning. But what if they aren't perfect for me? What if none of them are perfect for me? It pointed towards a beginning point.
"Why not this one?" It asked in a helpful tone. "I've got a good feeling about it."
I inspected the point. I had no idea what I was looking for as there was little to no way to figure out what the middle and end would be unless I just began, but I had to make sure there was nothing wrong with the point. After I took a guess that it was fine, I looked back to It for reassurance.
"It'll be great," It said. "I'm sure of it."
I looked back at the point and touched it. I did the best I could to make everything perfect. I set all of the rules as well as I could to enhance the effect of the beginning before I finally began. I watched in horror as the history unfolded. The beginning was awful, leading to a horrible middle and I assume a worse ending, but I had to rip myself away from it before I could get there. I looked up to It who rushed to my side.
"What happened?" It asked.
"Not that point," I spit out. "Not those rules, none of that. I can't do this."
"Of course you can," It reassured. "One bad beginning doesn't mean anything."
"It means that clearly, I'm not good at this."
The horrible things that happened were my fault for choosing that beginning. I'm glad that no life was able to arise as they only would have suffered in such a world. That's not to say that life didn't try to arise, though.
"I promise, it gets better after your first try," It said.
"I don't wanna find out if it truly does or not," I replied.
"Do you want to at least try to edit what you already have?" It asked. "You might be able to turn it into something better."
I sighed and looked up at It. It was right, I might be able to turn it into something better. But there was something that clouded my thoughts.
"But I might turn it into something worse too," I responded.
"You might," It agreed. "But you won't know if you don't try it."
I looked away.
"I don't think there is any salvaging that," I groaned.
"Then you can always begin again," It said. "This time, you'll have at least an idea of what you're doing. You'll do things right."
I took a deep breath and held it for several seconds before releasing it slowly. I was terrified of beginning, especially beginning again. But, I needed this. I needed my own world; to create something perfect. Or at least as close to perfect as I could get.
"Fine," I sighed.
I analyzed many points in hopes of finding the perfect one. I had no idea what set each point different from the rest, but each one seemed to have its own feeling to it, and none of these feelings matched what I wanted, nor what I needed. That was, until I found one specific point. This point seemed just like all of the others, but the feeling it had was perfect. It had to be this point. Once again, I looked back at It for reassurance. It smiled at me. I touched the point and started on the rules. I made things a bit more strict this time in an attempt at creating more order, and once I was satisfied with everything, I began.
I watched the entire history, mesmerized by what I was watching unfold. The entire thing was beautiful, and the ending was perfect. I broke away from my view and showed the history to It. It seemed a little confused at the joy I had for my creation but still seemed supportive and proud of me.
"Not quite how I would've done it, but it's still pretty amazing," It said. "Especially for a first try."
"I like the name they picked out for their world," I smiled. "And the art they created, both on purpose and on accident. Some of it is even more beautiful than the creation itself."
"Many of them seemed to have a hard time simply beginning, as well," It said sympathetically. "Perhaps your creations took after you. And like you, once they got over their fears and just began, they were able to create such beautiful works like the one you created for them."
It looked up at me and smiled.
"You did good," It said. "Let's start another."
"I would love to," I beamed back.
As I searched through the vast array of different beginning points in search of the perfect one again, I kept finding myself being drawn to my creation. Many times I even found myself watching through the history of it again. There were some moments I know others would've changed, even my own creations, but it was all perfect to me.
"Universe," I smiled. "The beginning of you is the beginning of me. I've done the hardest part in creating you, and you've gotten me through the hardest part and created me. And from that, we are forever bound. Others may think of themselves as the parents of their creations, but I think of you as my twin."
I leaned in close to my creation as if speaking to the inhabitants of if directly. Maybe I was.
"You may not be perfect to others, but you are to me," I said softly. "While I may create others similar to you, I will never create one just like you. You are my beginning. You are my twin. You are my Universe."