Well, the Red Lady broke

Into the High Chancellor's palace

She stole his sex toys

And revealed them to the press

When the High Chancellor woke up next dawn

They were lobbying for his impeachment

He stood very high, on a balcony

Flipped a bird


O, he put a bounty on that bench's ash

More rand than you could imagine

The Jews here probably could

Or at least, could now...

He sent and army to hunt her down

High and low, they hunted

But the Red Lady was clever

As the warriors hunted her down

They found some Bantu jewels

And some Jewish jewels

And some Dravidian jewels

The more time they spent away from the city

The more their dicks elongated

They missed their wives

They missed their bosses' mistresses

They missed the sweet cougars and MILFs of home

Much, much, much time they spent with these jewels

Too many nights a week

They should've been manhunting for the Red Lady

And so, she snuck in on them, center of night

She hid a camera, with trip wires

Many, many, many photos she took

She sent them in to get published

As a manuscript with an anonymous pen name

For her own

Well, the next day that photo album was published

She was a forking celebrity!

She became an overnight bestseller!

No one knew her

They wanted to interview her

They didn't know where she was, or who

Thank forking gourd this state isn't on the UNSC

If it ever was,

The High Chancellor would've emptied our nuclear arsenal at that Red Lady

The army had been discredited

Now it was time for the final blow

The Red Lady went to the Bantus, and raised a rumpus

All night, she trained her Merry Men

To paint the Three Capitals with the High Chancellor's blood

That High Chancellor had a reverse-Holocaust coming...

When they were ready

They surrounded all Three Capitals

They snuck into the quadro-cameral legislature

And stole all the lawmakers' clothes

In the end, they were all hanging from a tree

Upside down

Cattle prods everywhere, all of Congress was a fury

Poke, poke, poke, the Merry Men prodded them!

They had a ball, they had a ball, they had a ball!

Over in the Second Capital,

The judges came next

Their robes were stolen, and ripped to pieces

With many, many rags

The judges were bound

Ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey?

It was a lot like that...

Like warthogs, they were tied

Like helpless Jews, they were tortured

Except it was the Jews, this time, doing the torturing

Tails, like on a donkey, got pinned to their ashes

Squeal, squeal, squeal, went the warthogs!

With only the Third Capital left,

The Merry Men moved in

They were gonna bomb that High Chancellor to kingdom come

Alas, alas, alas

He'd called in a loan from the Indian States

They had an atomic cannon

A relic from the Cold War; it still worked!

There was a whole damn battery

The Merry Men couldn't have known...

And so, the Red Lady took the initiative

In the night, she snuck in

She tampered with that battery's control center

With her panties down, the High Chancellor caught her

He took her down into the catacombs

He'd paid a big masked hunk to execute her with an ax...

Alas, the High Chancellor wanted the Red Lady to see

Her legacy go up in smoke

He dragged her to the roof, where she watched...

Alas, her face harbored no frown

She grinned the whole time

And the High Chancellor's pants fell down,

As those atomic cannons whirled everywhere

And opened fire on the Three Capitals

Nuked within hours, they all were

Judge, chancellor, and lawmaker

Only craters and mushroom clouds left in the wake

And when the smoke cleared

The Red Lady was nowhere to be found

They all mourned, for the national heroine in red...

Onward, came the night

The shadows grew long

And with them, the Bantus retook the land

All was black...except one spot

A red light, under ashes

Beat, beat, beat, like a heart it rose...

She stood, in magnificent splendor

A heroine reborn!

She shined all over, like a ruby with a star inside!

Our national heroine was reborn

As a new Living Laser

She went underground, and became a spy

Never again, will our lands

Be so vulnerable...

Every white imperial will roast like long pork, on her watch...

She watches ever long,

She watches forever,