Well, the Red Lady broke
Into the High Chancellor's palace
She stole his sex toys
And revealed them to the press
When the High Chancellor woke up next dawn
They were lobbying for his impeachment
He stood very high, on a balcony
Flipped a bird
And said, "FORK YOU, FORK YOU, FORK ALL OF FORKING YOU!"
O, he put a bounty on that bench's ash
More rand than you could imagine
The Jews here probably could
Or at least, could now...
He sent and army to hunt her down
High and low, they hunted
But the Red Lady was clever
As the warriors hunted her down
They found some Bantu jewels
And some Jewish jewels
And some Dravidian jewels
The more time they spent away from the city
The more their dicks elongated
They missed their wives
They missed their bosses' mistresses
They missed the sweet cougars and MILFs of home
Much, much, much time they spent with these jewels
Too many nights a week
They should've been manhunting for the Red Lady
And so, she snuck in on them, center of night
She hid a camera, with trip wires
Many, many, many photos she took
She sent them in to get published
As a manuscript with an anonymous pen name
For her own
Well, the next day that photo album was published
She was a forking celebrity!
She became an overnight bestseller!
No one knew her
They wanted to interview her
They didn't know where she was, or who
Thank forking gourd this state isn't on the UNSC
If it ever was,
The High Chancellor would've emptied our nuclear arsenal at that Red Lady
The army had been discredited
Now it was time for the final blow
The Red Lady went to the Bantus, and raised a rumpus
All night, she trained her Merry Men
To paint the Three Capitals with the High Chancellor's blood
That High Chancellor had a reverse-Holocaust coming...
When they were ready
They surrounded all Three Capitals
They snuck into the quadro-cameral legislature
And stole all the lawmakers' clothes
In the end, they were all hanging from a tree
Cattle prods everywhere, all of Congress was a fury
Poke, poke, poke, the Merry Men prodded them!
They had a ball, they had a ball, they had a ball!
Over in the Second Capital,
The judges came next
Their robes were stolen, and ripped to pieces
With many, many rags
The judges were bound
Ever seen Fifty Shades of Grey?
It was a lot like that...
Like warthogs, they were tied
Like helpless Jews, they were tortured
Except it was the Jews, this time, doing the torturing
Tails, like on a donkey, got pinned to their ashes
Squeal, squeal, squeal, went the warthogs!
With only the Third Capital left,
The Merry Men moved in
They were gonna bomb that High Chancellor to kingdom come
Alas, alas, alas
He'd called in a loan from the Indian States
They had an atomic cannon
A relic from the Cold War; it still worked!
There was a whole damn battery
The Merry Men couldn't have known...
And so, the Red Lady took the initiative
In the night, she snuck in
She tampered with that battery's control center
With her panties down, the High Chancellor caught her
He took her down into the catacombs
He'd paid a big masked hunk to execute her with an ax...
Alas, the High Chancellor wanted the Red Lady to see
Her legacy go up in smoke
He dragged her to the roof, where she watched...
Alas, her face harbored no frown
She grinned the whole time
And the High Chancellor's pants fell down,
As those atomic cannons whirled everywhere
And opened fire on the Three Capitals
Nuked within hours, they all were
Judge, chancellor, and lawmaker
Only craters and mushroom clouds left in the wake
And when the smoke cleared
The Red Lady was nowhere to be found
They all mourned, for the national heroine in red...
Onward, came the night
The shadows grew long
And with them, the Bantus retook the land
All was black...except one spot
A red light, under ashes
Beat, beat, beat, like a heart it rose...
She stood, in magnificent splendor
A heroine reborn!
She shined all over, like a ruby with a star inside!
Our national heroine was reborn
As a new Living Laser
She went underground, and became a spy
Never again, will our lands
Be so vulnerable...
Every white imperial will roast like long pork, on her watch...
She watches ever long,
She watches forever,
And, PARLIAMENT'S OUT FOR SUMMER!
PARLIAMENT'S OUT FOREVER!
PARLIAMENT'S FORKING BLOWN TO FORKING PIECES...!