Always

Part One: 1998

Prologue:

Beyond the bedroom door, the party raged on. The floor vibrated from the loud music blasting from the stereo below. Sounds of furniture breaking and rowdy party guests could be heard behind all the loudness. Bemused, Alex dug out her pack of cigarettes and lit up. From where she sat by the window, she watched people come and go, rolling her eyes at the very late comers.

She hated parties. She didn't drink and couldn't stand drunken behaviour. She didn't like to socialize. People always forgot their conversations with her because they were too drunk and not only that, they talked about the strangest, nonsensical things. Ultimately she disliked parties because she was invisible anyway and the people that did notice her were the ones that wanted to ogle Daniel Alexander's odd sister. Yet again, however, here she was, isolated from the party while her brother enjoyed the lime light. She didn't mind it. He always tried to share his popularity, introducing her to his friends at every party but she always seemed to fade into the background.

She'd been lucky enough to snag a room that wasn't occupied right away. She'd been extremely delighted that it had a secret entrance. She could actually be alone and be away from all the party shenanigans that were clearly taking place beyond the door behind her. She was about to light another cigarette when she noticed a loud Toyota pull into the already crowded street. A tall young man stepped out, very obviously ready to party. She was expecting more young guys to emerge from the car so when a young woman stepped out, she found herself surprised. Right away Alex knew she'd come upon a like minded soul. She too didn't seem too keen to be at the party by the look of resignation on her face. She watched as she made her way to the house, looking up at it, pausing. She wondered if she could see her. She lowered herself down away from view. When she came back up, the girl was gone and Alex found herself hoping that they would get a chance to meet each other later on.

"Oh, hey there's Derek and the guys," Jason said excitedly before turning to his girlfriend. He sighed.

Bonnie was still slowly making her way through the crowd, clearly upset. This didn't seem to register to Jason, however who immediately said upon her arrival,

"Can you get me a beer? Thanks babe."

Bonnie stood there for a moment, confused before she felt that familiar frustration rise within her. Why had she even bothered to come and think this was going to be a different time than the others. Rolling her eyes, Bonnie decided to explore instead of being her girlfriends errand girl at yet another party she didn't want to be at.

People seemed to cover the whole house, wall to wall with party going teenagers, conversing and having drinks. She preferred to observe the people at these parties, enjoying the sight of many different types of social classes all co-mingling with others they didn't normally bother to even look at. As she made her way through the crowd, Bonnie took notice of the lavishly decorated home. It was obvious that whoever lived here were well off due to the copies of paintings she'd seen before in museums and art galleries. The beautiful off white colour of the walls made the house bright, almost welcoming. She wasn't surprised to see a chandelier hanging high up in the ceiling over the stairs. She made her way through three floors before going back down. Thinking that maybe her boyfriend had now come to his senses and was looking for her, Bonnie made her way back to where she'd left him. She wasn't surprised to find that he was busy playing beer pong with his friends, having a good time and clearly having forgot he came here with her. Not wanting to be around him, she continued on with her exploration of the house.

Bonnie soon found herself outside, the cold night air chilling her exposed skin, the rather strong wind pulling at her hair and clothes. The sound of the party behind her quieted down the minute she shut the door. Bonnie found herself relieved by the silence that followed. From a distance she could hear the sound of water lapping against the shore. She couldn't recall there being a body of water nearby.

The yard was empty, nice patio furniture was laid out on the deck, covered with plastic to prevent it from getting wet from rain. Near the far side of the yard stood a gazebo. It took a second glance for her to realize that it was occupied. Whoever was in sitting there was smoking. She thought of going back inside but her legs chose to head to the gazebo instead.

Alex took a deep breath, taking in the smell of smoke, enjoying the sound of the wind rustling the leaves on the trees. She closed her eyes for a moment, listening to the sounds around her. Alex gasped at the sight of her. She was even more beautiful in person than she thought. She hadn't thought she'd meet her so soon. She held in a smile as Bonnie stood nervously before her. She was quiet when she spoke.

"Hi, I was wondering if I could join you?" Bonnie asked.

She was a beautiful blonde with hints of auburn in her hair. Despite the small amount of light shining into the gazebo from inside the house, she couldn't help but notice her beautiful big blue eyes. Alex nodded watching as Bonnie took a seat adjacent to her. They sat in silence, the only sound being the inhaling and exhaling of Alex as she continued to smoke. Bonnie took in her new companion. She was a girl, dressed in all black and a toque. Her short sleeved shirt had the sleeves rolled up slightly making her dressed seemingly inappropriate for the weather. When her bright green eyes met hers, Bonnie felt her heart skip a beat.

"So you're not big on parties, huh," Alex finally spoke.

Bonnie blinked. "Oh, no, not really." she frowned. How'd she figure that out? Bonnie looked at Alex and once again her heart jumped at the sight of her and again when she saw that she was staring intently at her.

"I'm just observant," Alex smirked at her.

Bonnie chuckled. She liked this girl.

"What about you?" she replied. "You're all the way out here instead of..." she gestured at the house.

Alex shrugged. "Not my thing."

"Yet here you are."

Alex smiled. "Yet here I am, as are you."

A long comfortable silence passed between them before Alex spoke again.

"I came with my brother. I'm his ride," she explained, "unless he hooks up with someone, then I can leave."

Bonnie nodded. "I came with-"

"Boyfriend."

Not knowing why, Bonnie found herself embarrassed. Frustration welled up within her once again. Alex watched as Bonnie looked at the ground, hands clenched holding onto the end of her shirt. She felt herself sadden for her. She wondered just how exactly terrible their relationship was and how badly Bonnie wanted out. Alex wished she hadn't of said anything. Thinking that a change of subject was needed, she spoke again,

"You smoke?"

"No," Bonnie said quietly. "I'm uh not big on smoking either. Or drinking, actually."

Alex chuckled. "So what do you do for fun? I mean, at these things."

Bonnie shrugged. "I guess sit outside and talk to weirdos." she grinned.

Alex had to laugh. "Weirdo huh?"

"You're sitting outside, dressed in black and smoking while ignoring the awesome lively party inside." Bonnie teased. "So edgy."

Alex couldn't contain her laughter. "You're funny. I like you."

Bonnie smiled. The rustling of the leaves grew louder as the wind picked up. Shivering slightly, Bonnie hugged herself to stay warm. Alex suddenly wished she had a jacket to give her.

"So, would you want to-"

"Bonnie! Bonnie where are you?"

Her boyfriend Jason stood in the doorway of the house. She didn't have to see him to know he was drunk by now. Though she didn't want to, she called out to him. He stumbled over to them. He paused at the sight of Alex and frowned when she looked him up and down and turned away, taking a drag from her cigarette.

"Where've you been? C'mon, we're gonna do some tequila shots." he slurred, his eyes barely open.

Bonnie sighed. "Jay, I-"

"C'mon, let's go." he insisted, reaching for her arm.

"Y'know what, I'm just going to stay here and talk to my friend uh-" she suddenly realized she had no idea what her new friend's name was. Sensing her debacle, Alex spoke up.

"Hey, I'm Alex." she nodded.

Jason frowned at her. "Whatever. Bonnie, let's go."

"Jason, I-"

"You always do this," he suddenly yelled, startling both girls. "Why do you come to these parties with me if you're just going to ditch me?!"

Unable to contain her frustration and anger, Bonnie finally jumped up.

"Are you insane? You're the one who ditched me! Every time we go to any goddamn party you just leave me to go drinking with your stupid friends." she snapped.

Alex slowly exhaled, admiring her confidence and fire. She didn't peg her to be the type to get so angry. Sensing that her boyfriend didn't like her standing up to her, Alex felt herself tense up, ready to jump and help if needed.

"Wha- What- Are you serious right now Bonnie?" Jason hissed. He briefly glanced at Alex. "You're fucking embarrassing yourself. Now let's go."

Alex sighed. "Hey, I think you need to leave," she said as she stood, putting out her cigarette. Jason looked at Bonnie before turning to Alex. Though she couldn't quite see him properly, Alex knew he was probably flushed with anger.

"Butt out, bitch," he said through gritted teeth.

Before he could take a step forward, Bonnie grabbed his arm and dragged him away. Not wanting to be too obvious, Alex sat back down, getting out another smoke and lighting up. She listened as they argued in intense whispers. She couldn't help but think of the way her parents used to argue before their divorce. Suddenly the whispers stopped followed quickly by footsteps and finally the sound of the slamming door. Shortly afterwards, Bonnie was back, flopping down onto the spot she'd been sitting at before. Alex took a long drag, watching her. She couldn't quite see her but she could hear the sniffles of someone trying not to cry.

"Do you want to have some fun?" Alex finally said into the silence. Her heart broke at the sight of tears in Bonnie's eyes.

"What?"

"Do you want to have some fun?"

"I already told you-"

"It's not alcohol."

"I—I think I'm just... I think I'm just going to go home," Bonnie sighed.

Alex scoffed. "Figures."

Bonnie glared. "Excuse me?"

Alex put out her cigarette, getting up. "I should've known that you weren't gonna take me up on it, let alone hang out. See you around."

"Wait!" Bonnie suddenly yelled, shocking even herself with her outburst. She couldn't understand why she didn't want this random stranger to leave her despite her being the one wanting to leave first. She also didn't like the fact that she was acting like she knew her at all in any way shape or form despite just having met her. She wanted, no she needed to prove this stranger wrong. She was fun. She knew how to have fun. She could cut loose. Couldn't she?

"You don't know me. You have no right to judge me. For all you know, I'm super fun!" she was too annoyed to care that she sounded pathetic. She was taken aback by Alex's scoff.

"You're right, I don't know you, but I'm pretty sure that after spending less than twenty minutes with you, that I know what you're like," Alex replied. "Also, dancing around in your room on a Tuesday night is not fun."

Bonnie blinked. "Wha—Excuse me?"

Alex shrugged, continuing on her way. She was almost out of the gazebo when Bonnie grabbed hold of her shirt. Alex turned around, gasping at how close she suddenly was.

"I'm fun," she said lamely.

Alex grinned. "Then come with me," she took her hand. "Let's go have some fun."


Bonnie stared at Alex in disbelief. Why she had ever agreed to come with her was a mystery and very obviously a mistake. This wasn't like her. She didn't associate with "bad kids". Yet she couldn't bring herself to leave. She didn't want to. She watched, apprehensively as Alex quickly ground up some weed buds, whistling joyfully, a lit cigarette hanging from her lips as she busied herself. Smoke was filling the small empty room they inhabited. She was surprised at how quickly she was taken up to this random, secret room. Had she planned this? She did have to admit, it was a nice room to be in. String lights were hung up on the ceiling, illuminating the room with a warm yellow glow. A small bed was positioned just underneath the window, a skylight positioned just above them. They sat on the sofa in one corner of the room, Alex smoking and rolling a joint while Bonnie waited, contemplating her decision.

"Okay, ready," Alex said finally as she finished. She looked at Bonnie who seemed to be afraid. She smiled teasingly. "Second thoughts?"

"No," Bonnie said defensively. She tried to she tried to shake her nerves, pretending to be eager.

"You've never done this before, huh?"

"No, but I know... how," Bonnie hated just how lame she sounded. She wondered if she also sounded as nervous as she felt.

"I like you," Alex laughed, "I'll start."

Bonnie watched somewhat mesmerized as Alex finished her cigarette, put it out and light up the joint. Though she didn't approve of smoking, there was something about Alex doing it that made it... Sexy. Also, the way she blew out smoke made her shiver. Blowing out smoke, Alex handed Bonnie the joint before reclining on the sofa. Bonnie looked at it briefly before putting it slowly to her lips. She took a long drag and broke out into fits of coughing.

Alex watched impressed as Bonnie took a long drag and couldn't contain her laughter when she began to cough. She sat up and reached over to rub her back.

"Okay?" she asked. Bonnie nodded.

She reached over, taking the joint from her. The slight skin to skin contact caught her off guard. She glanced at Bonnie for a second before taking another hit. She couldn't seem to read her now.

"Try to go slow," Alex cleared her throat. "Or you're just going to keep coughing like that." she passed it back to Bonnie who seemed to take her advice. "Good girl."

Two joints later, the two of them sat on each side of the sofa, listening to the muffled sounds of the party right outside. Alex burst out in laughter as Bonnie slowly turned to her, grinning stupidly.

"You're flyin' pretty high huh?" Alex continued to laugh.

"Nope," Bonnie smiled.

They both laughed. Alex tilted her head back, looking up at the string lights. Unable to peel her eyes away, Bonnie continued to just stare at her, taking her in. Though the lights weren't that bright she was glad she could still get a good look at her. She was fascinated by Alex's dark yet bright green eyes, shining in the soft lit room. Underneath the baggy clothes she wondered just how toned and slender Alex was. She could see the outline of light muscles on her exposed arms. She found herself wondering what she would look like in a two piece bikini. This stirred something in her she wasn't familiar with. She wondered why she hid herself away in such baggy clothes when she was clearly a very attractive girl. Also, she was dying to know what colour hair was being hidden under that toque.

"You're staring," Alex said without looking. She could feel Bonnie's eyes on her, watching her every move, trying to figure her out like a difficult jigsaw puzzle.

Without thinking, Bonnie spoke,

"Just admiring the view." The minute the words left her mouth, she giggled.

Alex smiled, turning to her. "You're not bad yourself," she winked.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd hit two joints but Bonnie felt herself flush. She wanted to look away from those captivating orbs of green but failed. In fact, more than anything, she wanted her to move closer, to feel her skin under her hands. More blood rushed to her face.

"You're turning really... red," Alex teased.

Bonnie giggled. The room spun as she pulled her legs up onto the sofa and leaned back on the armrest. Alex continued stare her down. The longer she stared the faster her heart beat. Her desire for Alex to come closer grew with every minute that passed. She found herself eyeing her thin, inviting, kissable lips.

Oh my God, what is wrong with me? Bonnie couldn't breathe, her body beginning to tremble. She couldn't think of a time she felt so many strange new feelings arising within her, heart hammering in her chest. Alex narrowed her eyes, now trying to figure out just what was going on in her head bu taking in the familiar glint in her eyes. Deciding to move before she could change her mind, Alex edged closer, eyes still locked with Bonnie's as she did so. When she didn't move, Alex moved closer. Bonnie gulped quietly, trying to calm her nerves. For a moment she looked down to see that Alex's hand was dangerously close to hers. Alex followed her gaze. She smirked. Bonnie looked back up at her and before she could stop herself, she smiled.

"I know what you're thinking," Alex whispered.

"Oh?" Bonnie struggled to keep her voice steady. "What is that?"

She could smell the smoke, the weed and hints of flowers. Probably from the soap and shampoo that Alex used. Alex leaned closer.

"You," she whispered, "want to kiss me."

Bonnie tried to keep her gasp subtle. She shook her head, smiling still as that familiar cute smirk made a reappearance on Alex's face.

"Nope, I don't want to kiss you," Bonnie's low quiet voice made Alex shiver.

"Yes, you do." she leaned even closer, her face mere inches from Bonnie's now.

"Nope..."

Alex waited.

Bonnie's body began to tremble lightly. She was so close to her now that if she moved even just an inch, their lips would touch. She really did want to kiss her but she was not going to give her that satisfaction. Yet. Sensing her inner dilemma, Alex gently placed a hand on Bonnie's knee. She gently stroked her knee with her thumb, feeling her tremble beneath her hand.

Bonnie let out a shuddering breath, the sensation coming from Alex's gentle strokes on her knee. Unable to resist any longer, she finally leaned in, her lips finding Alex's soft lips. The kiss was slow at first, both testing the waters, feeling each other out. Though she tried, Bonnie couldn't suppress her moan as Alex's warm tongue slowly slid into her mouth, coaxing her, encouraging her to be as passionate as she felt. Bonnie let out a gasp as their tongues danced together slowly, their bodies growing warmer with every kiss.

Alex slowly moved her hand up Bonnie's knee to her upper thigh, up her side, her arm and finally into her hair. She pulled her closer, her fingers getting tangled in her hair. She chuckled at the groan she let out when Alex finally pulled away for air. She rested her forehead on hers, their heavy breathing filling the now quiet room.

"Told you." Alex said.

Bonnie laughed. "Shut up, you just-" she was once again caught off guard, this time by the sudden attack on her lips by Alex's warm, inviting mouth. She moaned again. Her body felt like it was on fire. She couldn't remember what happened or how but soon Alex's hands were roaming all over her body, leaving her gasping for air in between kisses. Soon she found herself shirtless, flushed and full of desire. Those green eyes sending bolts of electricity through her body.

"Hey," Alex's soft voice startled her. She smiled as she tucked her hair behind her ear. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Bonnie said breathlessly.

"Do you want to stop?"

The sincerity in her voice and eyes seemed to pull her from the haze of pleasure and suddenly a new feeling washed over her. She placed a hand on Alex's cheek, the other on her heart, cupping her breast and gently nodded. Gone was the frenzied movements now replaced with softer, slower and sensual touches.

No more words seemed to be needed between them. It was as though they'd mutually agreed to go slow to savour this now incredible life changing moment.

"You are one hell of a beautiful girl," Alex whispered into her ear. Bonnie smiled, eyes closing as Alex's hands drifted down to the waistline of her jeans. Listening to her whisper in her ear made her feel suddenly very hot.

Now down to her bra and panties, Alex stopped to admire the view. Her creamy skin looked soft to the touch, warm, inviting. She couldn't believe that she was straddling such a beautiful creature. She knew she had to go slow but seeing her laying there in the yellow glow of the room, her auburn her splayed out on the sofa, wished she could just ravage her.

"You are not going to make this easy," Alex whispered, "are you?"

Bonnie slowly shook her head with a smile. Alex laughed. "Thought so."

She began to move her hands again, travelling from her stomach to her bra clad breasts. She leaned down, placing a soft kiss upon Bonnie's neck. Bonnie moaned as Alex gently nibbled her neck, her hands gripping onto her shirt before travelling up to her hair, knocking off her hat. She gasped as long chestnut brown hair fell all around her. She ran her hand through Alex's hair, admiring the dyed red tips.

"You have long hair," Bonnie mused. "I like it."

For a moment Alex felt exposed, despite still being fully clothed. She leaned back to look at her and found herself relieved when she saw that she was sincere. She returned Bonnie's smile, her hands slowly slipping underneath her bra. The feel of her soft skinned breasts and hard nipples took her breath away.

"Wait," Bonnie panted, "wait. Wait."

"What's wrong," Alex asked, concern now written all over her face.

Embarrassed, Bonnie buried her face in her hands. Alex frowned, unable to decipher her muffled words.

"What?" she asked. When she realized what she'd said, Alex blinked. "Say again?"

Bonnie continued to hide her face. "I've never been with-"

"A girl?"

"Anyone."

She tried to hide her surprise but couldn't. She was taken aback by this sudden revelation and though she didn't mean to, she let out a laugh. Sensing that probably wasn't the right reaction, Alex immediately clammed up. She hoped she hadn't just immensely offended her companion. Bonnie quickly sat up, looking around for her shirt now.

"Wait, wait," Alex gently pushed her back down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh it's just... You're fuckin' beautiful and you had a boyfriend. It's... It's just hard to believe. I'm sorry."

Bonnie looked up at her, smiling a little. Even if she didn't want to, she finding that it was something she couldn't stop doing around her.

"I... I was waiting," she said quietly, relaxing once again. Strange how quickly she put her at ease.

Hearing this, Alex smiled. "And you're okay-"

Bonnie nodded. At this, Alex's heart seemed to burst with an unrecognizable feeling. All she wanted was to make her feel good, special and taken care of. She was going to do just that.

"Okay." Alex whispered.

Bonnie frowned. "Okay?"

Alex leaned down, kissing her again, softly. It was different. This was no longer due to drug induced lowered inhibitions. She moaned into the kiss, wrapping her legs around her waist. Alex's hands were now back under her bra, thumbs brushing against her already hardened and sore nipples.

"Alex," Bonnie moaned as Alex carefully removed her bra. Alex gasped at the sight of her round, supple breasts.

"Don't worry," Alex whispered, her hand dipping into Bonnie's panties. "We'll go slow."


Twenty-eight. There were twenty-eight lights hung around the room. Bonnie lay in euphoric bliss, sweat cooling on her naked body. Gone was the high from the weed, now replaced by a high that only pleasurable love making could induce. Despite it being her first time and with a random stranger she'd just met, she didn't feel anything except for joy. Next to her, Alex lay, her finger tracing lazy patterns on her back in a seemingly similar state. She nuzzled Alex's neck, burying her face in it, inhaling her scent. She smelled like roses in bloom during the spring.

"You okay?" Alex asked, voice quiet, concerned. "Did I hurt you?"

Bonnie suppressed a grin, shaking her head. She lay her head on her chest, looking at her companion closely. She replayed their lovemaking session in her mind and giggled. She'd been so gentle, so loving and sweet all throughout. Seeing the shadows play on her face as she straddled her would be forever etched into her memory. She twirled Alex's hair around her finger.

"You have such pretty hair," Bonnie whispered, "you shouldn't hide it under a hat."

Alex turned to her, those eyes immediately pulling her in again. She cupped Bonnie's face with her hand before placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. Bonnie beamed at her.

"You're fuckin' hot as fuck," Alex smirked followed by a chuckle.

"Shut up," Bonnie laughed, "you already got in my pants. Flattery now will get you nowhere."

"Bonnie."

There was a sense of intensity in the way she said her name that made Bonnie want more of her. She was about to kiss her when she saw the time on the clock. She hadn't even had the time to address why she was still clothed and she, naked.

"Shit!" she quickly sat up. "I gotta go."

Surprised by her sudden wanting to leave, Alex could only watch as she began to frantically look around the room for her clothes.

"Are you serious?" Alex asked.

"I'm so sorry, I don't mean to leave so suddenly but it's like almost four." Bonnie said as she put on her shoes, now fully dressed.

"Wow," Alex laughed. She was about to say something when she rushed over and took hold of her hand. Intrigued, she watched as Bonnie took a pen from the table began to scribble a number on the palm of her hand.

"Please," Bonnie said before quickly kissing her. "Please call me."

She was out the door before Alex could even comprehend what had happened. She stared at the door where Bonnie had just been a few seconds earlier. Normally this was not how these things went. She was the one to leave first, leaving them confused. She wouldn't even bother to call either but she knew, more than anything, that she didn't want that to be the last time she ever saw her. She let out a small laugh.

"Oh, Bonnie." she said into the now empty room before laying back down and lighting up a cigarette.