Sometimes, I have to physically stop myself from thinking about you. Lately, you come unbidden into my thoughts. It doesn't matter what I'm doing or who I'm with, thoughts of you just come crashing unannounced. Not that thinking of you is necessarily a bad thing, it's the urge to talk to you that bothers me. It's been four years, and thus far I've succeeded in keeping you out of my mind. Mostly. But now... I'm wondering how you're doing, if you're happy, and I guess if I'm completely honest with myself, if I've been replaced in your life.
I know I have no right at all, I was the one who so carelessly walked out of your life. I walked away, and for what? Sometimes, I wonder what would have happened if I stayed in your life. If I fought for our friendship. If I hadn't so thoughtlessly pushed you away. I'm just gonna say it, I miss you.
I love the life I have now, but part of me wonders if I would've been happier with you in my life. The more rational part of my brain would always step in and remind me how complicated continuing our friendship would've been. But I can't help thinking "I can deal with complicated, as long as you're here with me." I've made a lot of life-altering mistakes in my life, and I've broken more than my fair share of promises. But the one that haunts me is letting you go, when I promised you forever. The truth is I broke my own heart the day I broke yours, and I'll always be missing the piece that belongs to you.