Welcome to Coldworld. Here, the Cold War never ends, and nor does it go through the same phase each time...although it does sometimes thaw.


Ah, the Uzbek-Uyghur deserts... Out here, not much changes. Out here, you'd sense that most folks like being conservative. It's too bad these sister nations are both under the Red East's protection.

Out here, there are flocks of sheep. They never stop moving. They can't afford to. Their food is never plentiful enough, no matter where they go.

There are camels. In their masters' care, they guzzle the hay and waters of the good life.

There are Uzbek-Uyghur horses. Many are black; a bit impractical for a desert climate; but then, did you get to choose your hair color at birth?

In a cottage surrounded by hills, much happens. For this, the windows ought to be rolled down.

Adalet, an Uzbek harem jewel, pants and moans, as she makes out with a man. Her husband's too far away to matter. For now, she's in pure ecstasy. She's got a scorpion between her thighs...and she will NOT let go...

Meet John Casey. He's a Scottish spy. He was doing a job for his nation...before he got sidetracked. But then...who can blame him?

For hours, they have at it. They're both having a load of fun. Agent 7 knows it all feels too good to be true...

Exhausted at last, Adalet lies down next to him. Her bulbous and fleshy sun-tanned Uzbek body feels like bliss, next to his. He could never describe it to her. But then, if she's straight, she'd probably rather not know.

"I am sorry," she says to him, "that you do not want to have my babies."

"Your husband would catch us," 7 reminds her. "Plus, I'm not that kind of man."

With her hand, she gives him a handjob. Seems like she can never give him space...not that 7 wants it.

"You have a point," she says. "Around here, a Scottish-Uzbek bastard would be seen as degenerate. My husband would surely try to have such a bastard aborted. And to think that nobody here approves of abortion..."

Agent 7 scoffs. Adalet gives him evil eyes. He doesn't see them.

Moments pass. She rises, and leaves. Agent 7 presumes she's going to the toilet. He doesn't blame her. He would, too, if he wasn't more exhausted than her...

Outside, shadows pass. A spooky wind blows. A wolf howls. And out here, in the Uzbek-Uyghur lands, all wolves are demons...as are jackals, foxes, bears, otters, stoats, and polecats.

Back inside, the door bursts open. Agent 7 lies in bliss, expecting Adalet to rejoin her in the bedding...

This happy sentiment is shattered, when a squad's worth of battle rifles reload. At this, Agent 7 sits bolt upright.

They're Austrian mercs...who serve the Blue West. It seems Agent 7's new choice in love has sold him out to them...

They're heavily armed. The battle rifles are just their standard-issue passions. Some of them also bear grenade launchers and thirty-caliber machine guns.

Indeed, 7's in a tight spot. But of course, he's a spy. He always knows just what to do.

He sucks out one of his teeth, and spits it across the room. In a flash, he grabs the mattress under him, and flips it over, as if it were a raft.

His tooth explodes, generating a blinding and suffocating gas. Using the mattress to protect himself from the gas, 7 crawls across the room, to the window. He grabs an end table, and chunks it through the glass.

In nothing but black briefs, he makes it out. Ahead, there's a dirt bike. He makes a run for it.

The others come, with the same heavy armament. Agent 7 tosses several shurikens, distracting them. He then pulls out a pair of machine pistols, and keeps the triggers pulled, while spinning his way over to the dirt bike.

He mounts it. He throws several boomerangs, while turning the ignition. Once the engine's running, he releases the parking brake, and takes off. From beneath the rear of his seat, a nano-turret appears, and takes several emergency shots at the Catholic mercs who give chase.

Ahead, a convoy approaches. They're heavy infantry. Their sides all bear the crucifix of Catholicism. They've all got at least one heavy machine gun mounted to their tops.

They round the bend. Agent 7 speeds right into their guns' line of fire...

They break up, and park in a fan formation. From here, they dismount. The grenadiers assemble on the front lines. They've got AGLs and automatic shotguns to spare... One of them's got an antitank rifle...

Agent 7 smiles, and pulls out a mace. They open fire, with the grenades. Agent 7 swipes his mace everywhere, batting those grenades somewhere out-of-range. He's quite fast, with that mace...

About now, the antitank rifleman fires the missile. Agent 7 doesn't hesitate. He leaps forth, and does a somersault, while on the motorcycle. With his mace, he bats the missile away, as it's coming. He comes down atop one of the vehicles, bounces off its roof with his rubber tires, and does another flip.

While spinning through the air, 7 takes his automatic pistols, spins around in midair, and showers the air with bullets. This should do it...

Safe, the tires touch down on the ground, and 7 speeds off. Now it's up to the cavalry to chase him...

And here they come; both in cavalry ground vehicles, and cavalry strike aircraft, from above. The aircraft take the fore, and shower the ground just behind 7 with autocannon rounds.

Agent 7 takes out a rocket-shaped grenade, pulls the pin, and aims it just behind him. Once airborne, the grenade makes its own bearing, and shatters the lead aircraft's cockpit glass, while making its entrance. The aircraft takes down both flanks, as it explodes.

He pulls out a long knife, and tosses it behind him. It shatters the glass of another aircraft, and kills the pilot. It spends to its demise.

Next, he pulls out a pair of bolas, and tosses them behind him. They guide themselves, and wrap themselves around the last aircraft's propeller. The propeller gets tangled up...and just as the aircraft starts falling to its demise, the bolas blow up, taking out its host's topside and overhead.

Onward, 7 speeds. Only the ground cavalry chases him now.

For this, the rear seat of the dirt bike sprays out a lot of jacks. Most of the vehicles run over them. Some of the vehicles run over them while trying to swerve to miss them. A few more flip over, and topple some distance, while trying to avoid the jacks.

At last, Agent 7 tops a hill...and sees that he's being approached by a troop of main battle tanks. They've come armored, and armed with a 155mm gun each. And they're all MUCH faster up-close than they seem to be from afar. Even so, those guns are NO short-rangers...

Time to play the ace in the hole. For this, 7 generates wings from both sides of the dirt bike. From here, he speeds forth.

The tanks start by giving him a volley with their guns. Agent 7 remains wary of all the artillery shells, as he speeds through the range of fire. Those shells get closer by the second...

For this, 7 throws multiple pairs of bolas. Each pair wraps around an airborne artillery shell, and destroys it while it's still in midair.

Next, 7 gets out a bo staff. He holds it steady, while charging the tanks.

Slowly, the dirt bike begins its ascent. Below, the tank crews man the heavy machine guns, topside...

For his last trick, 7 deploys flares. They distract the tank crews, and give 7 some wiggle-room to fly away. Unless those tanks are armed with antiaircraft missiles (although it wouldn't surprise 7 if they were), they don't have a tread left to roll on...let alone park on.

Airborne and free at last, 7 flies away. He's got no idea where to go from here...but one thing's for certain: that's the last one-night stand he'll ever have with Adalet.

From behind, a biplane dive-bombs 7. Its pilot ditches the plane, and flies out towards 7's back...like a cougar pouncing on a vicuna from a cliff top.

Agent 7 responds by throwing several last bolas. They ensnare the pilot, and cause him to fall.

As he falls, 7 pulls out a bo staff. As the pilot comes down, he impales the pilot, right through the chest with it.

Here, 7 gets a nice long look at the pilot's face. He's shocked...and dying. As much as 7 would love to forget that face...he won't, and neither will someone who's about to become his will-be manhuntress...

Pressed for time, 7 releases the staff, and lets the pilot fall...impaled and bound. He and his plane meet each other, while both are falling. The bolas explode first. This causes a chain reaction, in which the fuel tanks of the biplane are the sole victims.

NOW 7's free. Alas, he'll come to regret killing that pilot later...even if it was self-defense...