Hi everybody. This is the first draft of a new poem I'm working on. Not 100% sure what I think about it myself, but please read, relax, and review.

For weeks I've sat in front of a screen

Camera on, red button flashing

Trying to glean what's real and what

In this world is crashing, Zooming forth

Everyone appears two steps ahead,

While I am hidden between bedsheets

Alone for weeks, standing at the edge

of a balcony moon's absent light

Knowing that for tonight I'll not sleep.

And I wonder what it takes to rest

When every day is pressed in an hour

Where months span days and rays of the sun

No longer seem a happy greeting

But instead, bring forth just another

fucking zoom meeting, notifications

flooding another one of my screens

even my dreams contain no escape

I no longer crave sleep just to watch

subconscious fears on endless repeat.

My dreams always return to high school

Four years sitting behind a desk, work

endless, trying my best always stressed

As I planned to escape my home town

Longing to travel around somewhere

somewhere I would feel included not

secluded behind anxious layers

shrinking away beneath their glares

Seven years graduated, their words still

sit serrated in my subconscious.

Subconsciously always screaming in

audibly pleading someone to stay

Every day a new lesson in what

it means to be lonely, a phony

trapped behind walls built-in old school halls

when my backpack would slink against my

shins, thinking that just leaving meant a

win, still, I find myself loitering

within these rising borders of doubt

lookout 2020 horrors aren't faltering.

And I know tonight I won't find sleep

No matter how I cling to my sheets

Because all I've done is host Zoom meets

Staring at a camera turned on,

red light flashing, what's it even mean

to be a teacher to blank screens

surviving on few social rations

dashing between assignments, grading

waiting to hear from even one friend

fuck, somedays I wish this would end.

I look at the moon and wonder who

else stood on this earth feeling alone

no matter where they venture, no home

beneath that light, just lost in the view.

Hope you guys enjoyed it, and if you have any feedback, I would love to hear it.