I was commissioned to write a poem from the point of view of an inflatable rubber sex doll. (Yes, really) that was being given as a joke gift…
What can I say, I like a challenge!

Needless to say there's a lot of sauce and innuendo in this piece!


I'm your pretty plastic playmate

Your inflatable amour

I'm bursting to spend time with you

To blow you through the floor

I'm your saucy latex lady

Your sexy rubber rose

Just don't prick me with your thorn

I'd deflate down to my toes

I'm your sweet acrylic angel

I'm good just through and through

Not good for the environment

But really good for you

I'm your bendy vinyl venus

Your pleasure guarantee

I'm ready for …

Are you ready, now, for me?