Day 6 - Jolly Green


Alright. This is a bit difficult, but here it goes. Me and Walter were drinking some ale or whatever. Good fun. Walter told me about his wife back in some town of some sort ways from here. They had some bakery business or something, I forgot, but they had to close things down because so many young and old men of all kinds went to war. Walter didn't join because he has some bad record or something, I forgot. I forget a lot of things, ha ha ha! I couldn't catch everything he said. There was this really cute girl I kept looking at and just couldn't keep up. I'd remember better if I wasn't drinking when he told me this shit but he really gave me some personal shit and I'm here just draining down some ale! Or was it Worsh? I forgot that too! Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Walter drank too much and passed out at the table. Looks like I can hold it in better than him! He made himself look so tough. Do you even know who I am? Of course you do! The fact that you're reading this means you do! But Walter had to leave but I'm a MAN! I find another table with complete strangers and talk to them because I'm not SCARED. I remember I bought something green and I had to smoke it or something. It was called like 'jolly green' or 'good giggles' or something like that. Made me feel so good and relaxed. I bought more so I can smoke them later, like right now! Ha ha ha! I'm using so much energy putting all of this onto paper. Or is it into paper? Don't know, don't care.

But today was a day of rest because we got paid generously from the last job. Can you believe it? Roof cleaning yielded a lot of money! Probably because it was a rich neighborhood. And also so many houses. You'd make gold if it was just 1 guy but we had to split it 4 ways so imagine that. Aside from all that shit, I asked what we were going to do to Walter, or Gregory, or Rowan? Walter and Gregory both agreed to give today a break so YEAH!

Gregory said he wanted coffee or tea somewhere. What a pretentious, slim fucker. Holding a book all haughty and proud. Rowan had a date or something. Got to leave him alone on that. Lucky bastard. How long have we been in the Capital? A couple days? And he got a date already? I swear, this guy needs to teach me some of his moves. As for Walter, he didn't really have much to do. I guess because of that we just kind of hung out.

He asked me about my weapon and I told him my sword is all good and I got a handle on magic. Walter said he was jealous. Something about him being jealous of other people who could use magic or something like. He then told me his wife was really good at magic, but she wasn't a fighter. One time he had to fight against some feral goblins to protect her! Goblins can be pretty bad. As bad as sasquatches. Never dealt with those green bastards before but they should be just as easy. Walter continued telling me about his time in the small town while we walked through the market. It was nice or something. A lot of the folks left for war or moved to the cities or something. He's still supporting his wife through doing these jobs or something. I didn't really care that much. Now, I WOULD care if he was actually an interesting person but even me telling YOU about him don't seem to yield much of an interest so I'm just going to skip that bullshit unless I feel like it's worth writing down. Plus I wasn't 100%. Probably from the drinking. I should really take it easier. Maybe. Somehow Rowan just showed up out of nowhere while me and Walter were checking out some throwing knives. Spooked the fuck out of me. He was all "Hey, what are you guys doing?" and Walter was like, "I was telling James a bit about my life," and Rowan was all, "Okay, sounds good, but maybe not everything. Look, got to take my girl out to the lake. See you later!" and I noticed this really beautiful 10/10 cat-type manimmal girl next to the token elf. How the hell did he pull in a beauty like that? AND in such a short time? Well, he left and that was it. Just me and Walter. It wasn't that great. We just walked around. I told him a little bit about myself and he told me a little bit about himself. Had to get myself some bottled ale at some point because I was starting to feel REALLY bad, like some sort of strange, tingly shaking and thirst. Nothing serious. The day just sort of passed.

So it became night. The group got together at the pub for a bit of a meeting because Gregory told Walter earlier who then told me. Gregory swears he told me earlier but I haven't a clue. Anyway, there was this new guy sitting with us; a sasquatch! I killed these things to keep the village safe! I guess they were more civilized here? I couldn't tell. He was wearing clothes and even a feathered cap! That's not something you'd find easily around here! It took some power to keep me from getting angry at this guy for being in MY presence! He introduced himself as Mr. Foot. Heh, what a dumb name. Is his first name Big? He never actually gave us his first name so it could be for all I know. To be fair, the more he talked, the more he was an alright guy. He's good with his fists and feet so he can't be wearing armor too heavy and he's also looking to do some jobs like the rest of us. His last group got boring or something. Not too sure. To be fair, this group's not all that interesting as well, except for maybe Rowan. I mean, they're all pretty weak and we haven't done any serious shit yet. Can you believe that? Maybe this new guy will change the pace, I kind of doubt it because he's a sasquatch. I can slice them as easy as cheese for a charcuterie board.

Aside from the whole new guy, I talked to Rowan about the absolute beauty of a woman he got his elf hands on. He was all, "Yeah, we went out. Did things. Got her info. She's a good catch, eh?" and I told him how fucking awesome that was and how to do it. He told me he'll teach me next time and show me the way of the alpha elf. Gave me a wink too. I smiled. This guy's a bro. I would never betray him.

Gregory had to ruin my talk when he started talking about how we have a job in 2 days. Told us to get some gear or something as a group and take a break or something tomorrow because it's a big job involving some spider babies. Hah! I step on them. I'm not getting enough experience, even if I needed it. Fucking lame. Whatever. Maybe there are a lot of them.

So at the end of all that and the rest left, I had a bit of drinking done. Mmm. Just a small buzz because I want to save myself for lighting up a bit of the jolly green. This shit's fucking good. I heard there are other ways to take it. Maybe next time. Yeah. I'm a bit tired of writing.


Signed, James Noah Smith