Chapter One: Meet Martin
Martin Fargo was raised by his mother to hate conservative ideas, especially the traditional male (i.e. John Wayne) and a thing that she called the patriarchy. Martin Fargo also had an aversion to eating meat, so he only ate plant based products, which contained heavy amounts of soy. This caused him to be a Soy-Boy. Whenever he saw a feminist being attacked online, he would defend the feminist's honor by attacking the person, probably a Donald Trump supporter, from this horrific display of toxic masculinity. Martin thought this would aid him on his quest to find the perfect mate. Women would love Martin for his sensitivity. He imagined a scenario playing out in his head like this:
The beautiful nerdy woman with thick plastic glasses and a ponytail rushed into Martin's arms. "You are my hero. All my life I have dreamed of a man who understood the evils of the patriarchy and would help us destroy it stone by stone."
It doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out that Martin never met a feminist like this. Do women want a Martin Fargo? Do they crave understanding from a male? No, they dream of that dude from the Fifty Shades of Grey to treat them like shit.
It came to pass, that Martin came home from an anti-Trump rally to find his mother banging the plumber and the mailman in a bizarre sex game. This shocked poor Martin, as he was only 35, and he had never seen such degenerate behavior. So, he decided that it was time to make use of his college degree in Liberal Arts to get a job and to move out on his own. So Martin filled out a lot of job applications and finally ended up working at a coffee shop. The manager thought that Martin's degree might come in handy if one of the old college professors, who frequented the place, wanted someone intelligent to talk to. The downside to working at a coffee shop was the meager paycheck, as this did not allow Martin to rent a place of his own.
Martin was looking bummed out when a fellow co-worker approached him. "Hey, Fargo, you look like someone stole your wallet. You should be feeling great. That young upstart Donald Trump lost the election. Finally, we will have a president that brings experience and integrity back to the White House."
"Sammy, I am glad to have an aged man with great experience in the White House, but it's about my living situation with my mother. It seems that she has to play weird sex games in order to bring down the patriarchy. I need a place of my own, but I cannot afford rent," sighed Martin.
Sammy smiled to herself, as she was secretly an admirer of Donald Trump's. So, she decided to play a trick on poor Martin.
"Yo, dude, too much information about mommy, but I think I can help you out. What you need is a roommate."
Martin Fargo felt butterflies in his stomach. At last, my understanding of female nature is going to pay off and Sammy will ask me to move in with her. Oh, those brown eyes, those glasses, and that ponytail. It's a wet dream come true.
"Are you suggesting that we share an apartment together?" smiled Martin, while desperately trying to keep the excitement out of his voice.
"That's sexist, my dude, a relationship like ours should not be soiled by us cohabitating. That could cause the patriarchy to rise again. What I had in mind was for you to find a male roommate. I can give you his cellphone number."
Sammy wrote the name and number down on the back of a blank order slip and handed it to Martin.
Martin took the slip of paper and placed it in his pocket. "Thanks, milady."
Sammy thought to herself. Good luck, you stupid cuck. But, she said, "You're welcome, my dude."