The Old Me

Author's Note: Cancer-free for twenty-four years.

I wore a mask long ago because I was afraid of how others would perceive me.

I wasn't comfortable in a big crowd.

I felt like I didn't belong anywhere.

I hid behind a mask.

I wasn't confident in myself or trusted others who surrounded me because I was afraid of their opinions.

I didn't love myself.

I wallowed in self-hatred.

Despite what I have accomplished

Then cancer struck me.

I believed I would die.

But my Mama Lioness had other ideas.

And I'm still here.

I suppose Our Heavenly Father had other plans for me, although I didn't know what it is?

I went through a period of darkness.

Not exactly my proudest moments.

I believe I drove my family up the proverbial wall while I drove away those closest to me.

Again, not my proudest moments.

I do beg their forgiveness, although none of them will see the poem.

Days turned to months, and months turned to years.

I learned about trying to love myself.

I then discovered I wanted more in life, so I went to the one person I could always confide in, Mama Lioness.

Mama Lioness gave me the confidence I needed.

But sadly, Mama Lioness passed away before I started on my journey.

My Grandma Lioness helped me through everything, and even Grandma Lioness helped me get started on my journey.

My journey hasn't ended.

I'm more confident in myself.

I love myself

I'm blessed to have my family, a few close friends, and a man who loves me despite my imperfections.

The few things life taught me.

Tomorrow's never promised, so be thankful for what you have and the people in it.

Believe in yourself

And always follow your heart.

I never give up

No matter what

And I'm not done yet.