It is as ironic as it is fascinating that the realization of our fears can lead to the most rewarding experiences and circumstances.
Sometimes we care so much about someone that all we want is to help them transform their lives into what they desire. But our care might become overbearing and stifling to the other and we produce the exact opposite of what we so wished to do. We become a roadblock in that person's path without realizing it.
And then the relationship breaks apart and we are crushed and can't quite grasp what went wrong. Maybe we blame ourselves or we blame the other – whichever it is, our fear has come true – we have lost someone we truly cared about. And after the initial shock and anger we realize that, actually, we still care and even if we try not to, there are a million little things that remind us of them and that make us wonder how they are doing. Do they suffer as we do? Do they care that we are no longer in their lives or are they relieved to be rid of us? Do they understand what drove us apart?
Time passes and we become used to our lives without them. We adjust and we are doing just fine. We find ourselves again, move forward and feel freer than we've felt in a long time.
And yet, sometimes, when we are reminded of them by a word, a sight, a sound or a smell, we wonder what they are doing and whether they think of us at all.
And then, quite unexpectedly, we reconnect with them and find ourselves nervous at the prospect of meeting. We are unsure of what will happen and cannot risk getting our hopes up for we don't want to feel so hurt again. But then they are there and we find that everything feels so familiar, yet everything is so different. And as we embark on the journey of rekindling this relationship we wonder whether the separation might not have been meant to be. Now that we have experienced life without that person and they have lived without us, both sides can truthfully say that neither needs the other but that both truly want the other their life.
© language life