The truth is - I really love this guy. Another truth? I don't think he knows that. And if he does, he hides it well. I wish he'd just tell me how he feels - even though he supposedly already did. Maybe I am in denial, maybe I should just move on. But I don't think even he knows how he feels.
Does this come from 3 AM thoughts and sugar highs? Possibly. But I do know this - I can't stop feeling everything for him. He's everything, always will be.
If he just admitted it to himself and to me then we could be happy, happier than we've ever been apart. I've never known true happiness until I met him.
Is any of this real? Am I losing what small portion of sanity I once had over one single guy? Maybe. But I know that he has a great capacity for love, he's an exceptional human being and is the best person I've come to know. If he'd only let himself love, it would be beautiful.
But I don't think he's going to let that happen anytime soon.
And so I wait. I wait for love, I wait for him.
Wait for something that may or may not come to pass.
I wait on a hope, a dream that surely will one day be fulfilled...
Or will it?