We start with a film countdown.

Then a 20th century-esque voiceover announces the name of this moving picture.

"Battle of the Two Species: The History of the Angel-Demon Wars. Since the creation of Heaven, our beloved white cloudy land, the angel inhabitants have been living in peace and harmony, with optimism and goodwill flowing all over the place. And who was there to ensure peace and harmony in Heaven? Why none other than our great and noble leader himself, God Almighty.

However, down below our peaceful and beautiful land, was another land that was NOT peaceful and beautiful. The inhabitants in that land were demons, cruel, fierce, unsanitary, and completely evil beings. That opposite land was known as... Hell, the nasty nether world, the fiery pit, the home of the most evil demon in history, the great ruler known as... Satan AKA Beelzebub AKA The Devil himself.

And may you ask how the war between Heaven and Hell started, now's your chance to bare witness. You see, Satan had an embarrassing incident. He accidentally chopped off his penis. A spy from Heaven got wind of this and told God the news. God was laughing at the incident, and at the expense of Satan. He then spread the news to everyone in Heaven, and long story short, it hit the front papers everywhere. Satan was so ticked off, that he suddenly declared war on Heaven. He ordered his army of demons to invade Heaven and decimate the place. But God fought back, by gathering an army of strong, barbaric angels to fend off Satan's army. As a result, total warfare ensued.

After the bloody battle, God and Satan agreed to a peace treaty if God never spread embarrassing news from Satan again. Unfortunately, Satan secretly sent a spy to see if God did something embarrassing himself, and so he did, by watching a very pathetic school play lead by his son Jesus Christ. The spy told Satan of the news and Satan spread the word to his subjects. When God heard about this, he broke the peace treaty and had his army invade Hell. Once again, warfare ensued.

After the second agreement of the peace treaty, God and Satan once again vowed to never, ever share embarrassing news of themselves regardless of the reason. But then, God was dropping litter down into Hell, he said he refused to pay for garbage collections. This angered Satan, resulting in yet another bloody war between angels and demons.

And there have been even further wars thereafter, with the causes becoming more and more surreal.

After that, God and Satan have been making several peace treaties to try and keep peace between their respective lands.

They just can't help themselves.

Who knows when one of them will strike.

It could possibly be... today!"


The film ends.