This Charade

Staying positive has become easy
I've mastered the craft with a smile
Radiating warmth, grace and energy
Lending a hand, going the extra mile

I've mastered it so damn well
That even I have started to believe
The lies that I've repeatedly told myself
Convinced with all that I've conceived

I've kept this up for years and years
The smile that always reaches my eyes
Silencing the voice that shouts my fears
Crushing any hurt I feel before I break down and cry

And yet, every once in a while,
A single tear manages to seep through
In the midst of all my practiced smiles
Threatening to break a great dam in two

I wonder, will this go on and on?
These walls I continue to protect and defend?
The charade I've kept up for so long,
The charade I no longer know how to end