Well, brothers, I am but a lonely scholar: the great historical bum
Highly educated, from history I have come.
Under the Roman Eagle and the Union Jack, I conquered half the planet, toppling empires - one by one -
That's about the grandest thing that men like me have ever done!
I saved all Europeans from slavery by the Moors.
In 732, I rode with Martel into Tours -
The Muslims held the hilltop bravely, but we vanquished every one;
That's about the most important thing that men like me have done!
I fought the Revolution to set America free -
My little brother France fought against the Brits with me -
The battle, there, at Bunker Hill, may have favored English guns,
But soon the world would know and see that there were plenty more to come!
Well, we finally captured Boston, put the grisly Redcoats on the run,
The blood of many Patriots lay sprawled beneath that Western sun.
The Loyalists, they would still grumble, but they knew that we had won!
That's about the boldest thing that men like me have done!
And then I took to farming on that broad Midwestern plain;
I pushed out west to Oregon, for to spite the howling rain.
My children braved the Indians, gave them their liquor and their guns,
That's about the biggest thing that man has ever done!
In 1861, the rat-traitors stopped us in our tracks! -
Half a million White men, lie dead all on behalf of blacks. -
Well, old Lincoln, he received his just desserts at the barrel of a Southron's gun,
Not among the finer jobs that man has ever done!
Well, in the 1800's, a curse befell our land:
A certain type of people got the reins of power in their smarmy hands!
Their names all echoed strangely in the ears of some;
Soon we'd fight a culture war that we have not yet won!
There was a man across the wide, blue ocean, and he scared the Jews to death.
He challenged Jewish Bolshevism down to his last breath.
Soon the U.S. war machine turned on him every gun.
We signed away our country there in 1941!
Well, the Nazis were kaput, but the Communists remained.
Among their ranks were legions of these men with echoing names.
They filled our institutions, compromised them, every one.
Now remains the highest task that we could've ever done!
Well, these people own our media; they fill our heads with lies.
They advocate inclusion which amounts to suicide;
They take a hammer to the country meant for our White sons!
Beating them is the biggest thing that men will have ever done!
Well, I better quit my rambling, for I have told you all I know,
Just remember, brother, now wherever you may go:
Our fathers left this land for us, for our daughters and our sons,
So go and do the greatest thing that man has ever done!