Now what

Geez… I don't know how to write anything about this… it's depressing! But hey! There's a positive message in this. …Somewhere…. I lived! I'm a happy healthy if not somewhat insane person! I guess the positive message is, ummm… things'll get better! That'll do! Things got better for me, and if you know where I stood when I wrote this, things'll get better for you too! The world is too full of possibilities for things to stay bad and depressing! So turn your face to the sky, smile at the sun's warmth and know you'll be happy again!

Angel of Death

(Wow… that name seems to go against everything I just wrote… damn.)


Now what?

He's gone

And I don't know if he'll come back

Things don't look good

Amanda says we're meant to be together

I want to believe that

I want to with all my heart

But I don't know

He looks happy

Should I be glad for him?

Or hate the new girl with all my heart

I don't know

She's suppose to be my friend

But I don't know anymore

She broke rule # 1

She dated my ex without my permission

She knew I loved him

She knows I still do

What do I do?

She hurt me

Can I ever think of her as a friend again?

I don't know

I have never been so overcome with emotions

Never once

I've never been in love

Now I can't get out of it

It's a horrible trap I've fallen into

There's no way out

Only a small light at the end of the tunnel

A light that may vanish at anytime

I'm worried

When the light goes out I might go with it

When did I become so weak?

So weak that I couldn't handle my emotions

I don't know

I'm too depressed to know

I know I'm falling deeper

And deeper still

Into a hole I may never crawl out of

What if it's too deep?

What if I'm too far-gone?

Then what?

I die

Do I?

I don't want to!

I've got so many goals!

I want to marry

Finnish school

Become a comic book artist

Become an animator

Become a mother maybe

But what happens if I'm in too deep

I think I am

Maybe I can crawl out

I hope so

The light is growing fainter

I hope it doesn't go out for good

It's my only way out!