Some Who Do Not Go to Church

Mr. Speeds will clean his auto,
Mr. Spurrs will groom his horse,
Mr. Gadds will go to Coney,
With the little Gadds, of course.
Mr. Flite will put is carbolic
On his homing pigeon's perch,
Mr. Weeds will mow his bluegrass,
Mr. Jones will go to church.

Mr. Cleet will drive a golf ball,
Mr. Tiller steer his boat,
Mr. Popper on his cycle,
Round and round the State will mote.
Mr. Swatt will watch a ball game,
Mr. Stake and son will search
Through the bosky wood for mushrooms,
Mr. Wilks will go to church.

Do you ask me what's the matter?
Do you wonder what is wrong?
When the nation turns from worship,
Sermon, prayer, and sacred song?
Why do people rush for pleasure,
Leave religion in the lurch?
Why prefer a padded auto
To the cushioned pew in church?

Reader, well I know the answer,
But if I should speak aloud,
What I think is the real reason,
It would queer me with the crowd.
You'll be popular, dear reader,
When you wield the critic's birch,
You be safely in fashion
If you blame things on the church.