It was cold. I sat shivering in the box, occasionally peeking out when one of the McCormicks or Killmores walked by, they had plenty of money. My hair had gotten scraggily, and I was really starting to reek. It was no wonder why people avoided me. Hi, my name is Lily. I'm a fourteen year old girl living in a hard cruel world, until I met two very special people, and found that our friendship would be tested through thick and thin.........

A face peered into the hole of my refrigerator box, my sole possession besides my small black suitcase that I had had ever since my parents were murdered…

"Is anyone in here?" A voice asked.

I took a closer look at the face. It was a guy, he had soft blonde hair and robin egg blue eyes, and they were enchanting.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Yes?" I replied timidly.

I poked my head out of the box to meet him face to face. He looked about my age, and boy was he great looking! I haven't seen a guy this nice looking in a while. I guess I haven't been out much lately, but how could I? I looked like...no, I was a ragpicker.

"How long have you been here?" he asked kindly.

"Does it matter?" I snapped. "People like you don't care about people like me."

His eyes softened. Oh God...I couldn't not love those eyes. They seemed to be hurt and tender and loving all at once.

"If I didn't care, why would I be here?" he asked.

"Can you honestly help me?" I asked, knowing this could be the only card I had left to play. "Can you do it?"

"I think so," he replied softly. "I told my mom about you, I had seen you trying to beg off her a lot, and she said you could come live with us. Only if you wanted to, of course," he added hurriedly.

Immediatley I grew suspicious. I really had to know if I could trust him. I had learned, trust no one. Everyone I had ever trusted was gone now.....

"Who is your mom?" I asked.

"Diana McCormick," he answered.

"You're one of the McCormicks? You're so lucky! Who are you?" I questioned.

"Kenny," he replied.

"I'm Lily. Lily Macmillan." I answered. "Can I really trust you? You won't leave me?"

"I won't leave you, Lily. I swear no one here will ever hurt you again." he answered feircely.

I climbed out of the box and grabbed my little suitcase. The sun was warm on my skin and the Denver streets rough against my bare feet. I was happy, but still a little cautious. You never know what to expect in a dog eat dog world.

The first thing I did when I got to the house was take a really looong shower, and change into some clean clothes. Mrs. McCormick then took Kenny and I shopping for school clothes.

I must have gotten more clothes that day then I have in my entire life. I was really starting to think that I may have another family that loved me, and I was right. For all the rest of the summer, and forever after that, they treated me like I was their own, and I thought this was the place for me.

I didn't even start out in Denver. I was born in Sacramento, CA, on a chilly Christmas morning. My existance in Sacramento was a short one, one night while my parents were out they were savagedly murdered, and I was put up for adoption. I was only one when my parents died, so I don't remember them, so I had always thought of my adopted parents as my real ones. They were extremely nice....or so I thought. We went on vacation here in Denver and they decided that they don't want me anymore. I finally learn then, that they aren't my real parents and I also hear about the fate of my real ones. I was dumped on the street, and then they just left. The only thing I had was my little suitcase, and when I found one, a big cardboard box. You know the rest. Doesn't that sound like the kind of life you would want to have? Oh, well, it's over, at least for now.

When school started, I was really frightened. I didn't want anyone to know that I was off the streets and all of that. Then I met Shelly. She was the craziest, out of whack person I have ever met, and she really couldn't have cared less where I was from. All she cared about was that I was funny, and I fufilled that to a T.

Alas, all good things must end.....a day came in my life when every thing in my life that I had just rebuilt would come crashing down, and it all began with this.....

The day Shelly was murdered was hot and miserable. I had had a fairly good day at school except that Shelly and I had gotten into a huge fight, and that had really spoiled my day. I went home immediatly after school, breaking my normal routine of sticking my large, disgusting wad of gum in Shelly's ear. (Don't ask) Kenny greeted me at the door, a mischeivous grin lighting up his face.

"So, how's the great Mike Tyson doing with Evander Holyfield? Bitten off her ear yet?" Kenny said sarcastically.

"Why don't you just go fuck yourself?" I snapped.

"Woah, dude, relax, it was only a joke!" Kenny said sorrowfully. "I'm sorry it made you so pissed."

"It's O.K., I have had a really sucky day, that's all," I sighed, wondering when me and Shelly would ever speak to each other again.

We had had this fight over the stupidest goddamn thing. We both like the same person, and he's single, (actually, he's been single for a while, but that's beside the point.) so we both want to ask him out. I thought I should have first dibs since I live with him, but Shelly decided that was an unfair advantage, and it tumbled down hill from there.

"Earth to Lily! Yoohoo? Anybody in there? I just said the power was out!" Kenny yelled.

"Dammit! Why the hell does the power have to go out on the night of my show!? This sucks!" I exclaimed angrily.

I stormed into the house and started doing my homework, thinking that that would get my mind off some things for a while, and sure enough, it did. Amazing what the powers of school work can do to you.

About six thirty, the power came back on, and I turned on the T.V. The evening news was the only thing on, so I sat my little toush down and watched some.

"The top story on the news tonight is actually a local one. Fourteen year old Shelly Marsh, of Denver, was found hung from a lamp post, on fire. Authorities seem to believe that this could be the first hate crime Denver's seen in...um....about two days. If you have any information on the death of Shelly Marsh, please dial 1-800-killers," the newscaster droned.

I was in complete and total shock. It took about thirty seconds for it to register in my head that Shelly was actually dead. Then, it hit me like a pregnant cow, and I started to cry, softly at first, but then it progessed into full blown wails.

Kenny dashed into the room.

"Lily! What's the matter? Jeez, your crying loud enough to wake the dead!" he exclaimed.

"She....Shelly, she's...."

"She's what, Lily, spit it out!" Kenny said impatiently.

"She's dead, Kenny. I just heard it on the news. Please, hold me...." I lapsed off into another torrent of tears.

"I'm sorry, Lily, I'm sorry. Everyone close to you always seems to die. First it was your parents...." Kenny started, but stopped, and he too began to cry.

Well, it was true what he had said, everyone close to me seemed to always die. It was like I was cursed or something.

That night I couldn't sleep, even listening to the Barenaked Ladies song "One Week" didn't even cut it for me. Shelly and I's fight we had kept playing over and over in my head. It was appaling how much I would actually miss her, even though we hated each other, today at least, until the moment she died. I wondered if Kenny was having the same insomia attack that I was, so I decided to find out. I silently crept down the hall, not wanting to wake Kenny's parents, and arrived at the door to his room. The TV was on softly, so I guess he was still awake. I opened the door slowly, so it wouldn't creak on it's hinges, and entered his room. As it turned out, he was sleeping, but I just plopped down next to him on his bed, and woke him up.

"Huh...? Oh, hi Lily. Can't sleep?" Kenny mumbled drowsily.

"I can't stop thinking about our fight we had today, and how we weren't even friends when she died. Why would someone do that to her? She didn't deserve to be killed like that! The newscaster said it was a hate crime, but what was there to hate? I could find nothing in Shelly to hate, even though I felt like I hated her today, what was it?" I asked hysterically.

"Maybe some side of her that she wanted to keep from everyone else, like she was a devil worshipper or something," Kenny said.

"Kenneth James McCormick, don't lay that sci-fi bull-shit on me!! I am not in the mood for your ever sarcastic attitude!" I screamed. "Some help you were! Thanks a lot!"

I stormed out of his room and slammed the door, hard. I got back to my room and flung myself on the bed, and just lay there, crying, until I felt a soft hand alight on my shoulder.

"Lily?" Kenny said softly. "Lily, I'm sorry I didn't give you the answer you wanted in there, but the truth is, I don't know the answer, and nobody else does, either. We both have suffered a great loss today, and we have to understand that she's not coming back, Lily. Ever."

"I'm sorry I was such a bitch, but you have no idea what it's like to lose your parents, be adopted into a totally different family and be abandoned and left to fend for yourself on the street. You have no clue, and that's why I'm so angry. You have the perfect life, your parents are rich, alive, and still together, and your their biological son! It's not fair!" I said angrily.

"Actually..." Kenny started, but I cut him off.

"Actually what? You're going to tell me that you do know how it feels to be orphaned and then abandoned by the family you came to love..." I said.

"Lily, I was adopted." Kenny stated simply.

"You what?" I asked, not believing him.

"My parents left me on the steps of this very house, with a note in my crib that stated my name and why I was here." Kenny said.

"Was your last name really McCormick?" I asked.

"My real parents wanted me to fit in as best as I could, so they found a family with my real last name. I've always been a McCormick, and I always will.

"I don't know my real last name. My family, the Macmillans, never told me where I really was from. The day I found out I wasn't their own was the day they abandoned me. I have my old suitcase up in your attic that has always come with me wherever I've gone, but I've never thought to look in it. Do you think it may have some baby stuff in it?" I asked Kenny, a faint hope growing in my heart.

"It's worth a try," Kenny said.

"Let's look," I replied.

The attic was dark and cold, and the flashlight let it's cone shaped ray spill across the beams, making eerie shadows. After twenty minutes of searching, we found the suitcase. The clamp was a bit rusty, but I opened it without any trouble. Inside was a rattle, my blanket, some clothes, my baby book, and the best of all, my birth certificate. It read: Lily Catherine Marsh, born December 25th, 1984. Born at Glendale Hospital at 10:00 a.m.

"Kenny, Shelly and I had the same last name. She could have been my sister, my cousin, who knows..." I started to cry.

"It's O.K., Lily, it was probably just a conicidence," Kenny stated.

"You're probably right. When's your birthday, Kenny?" I asked.

"Christmas. I hate having my birthday on Christmas, you don't get as many presents. When's yours?" he asked.

"What year were you born in?" I asked, a wierd look on my face.

"1984. Lily, where is this going?" Kenny asked, confused.

"Kenneth James McCormick, meet your birth sister, Lily Catherine Marsh. Born December 25th, 1984. Isn't that wierd? We have the same birthday!" I exclaimed.

"Here, Lily, look in the baby book! There's pictures!" Kenny stated excitedly.

I grabbed the book from him and opened up to the first page. The first page was information on me, and as I read down the page, I was shocked to notice that the bottom half of the page was not dedicated to me, but another baby. It read:

Name: Stanley Craig Marsh, Jr.

Born: December 25th, 1984 at Glendale Hospital

Mother: Wendy Glenda Marsh

Father: Stanley Craig Marsh

Hair: Brown

Eyes: Green

Weight: 5lbs, 6ozs

Height: 18 inches.

Mine read:

Name: Lily Catherine Marsh

Born: December 25th, 1984 at Glendale Hospital

Mother: Wendy Glenda Marsh

Father: Stanley Craig Marsh

Hair: Blonde

Eyes: Purple

Weight: 6lbs

Height: 20 inches

"Kenny, look, I had a twin brother! I wonder where he is now? We should trace him! Do you think he's still in Denver?" I asked excitedly.

"Lily, there's a Stan Marsh in our grade! He's one of my best friends. Do you think he could be the one? He's got brown hair and green eyes." Kenny stated.

"I hope he is. I'll ask him in school tomorrow. Let's look at the rest of this book," I said.

I turned the page and saw my mother for the first time. This book wasn't a book, it was a photo album of me and Stan when we were babies. My mom had long brown hair, and hazel eyes. The contors of her face accenuated her beautiful features, and made her look...elegant. That's the only word I think of to describe my mother, elegant. My father had black hair and stunning green eyes, which make me wonder how they produced a blonde haired purple eyed daughter.

I was always made fun of for the color of my eyes. People thought they were wierd, and that made me wierd for having them. At this school, though, people thought they were the coolest thing, and it's stopped, except for the occasional snicker or two.

The first picture, the one we were looking at now, was of my real parents holding me and Stan, Stan in my dad's arms, me in my mom's. We were the perfect Amercian family, one girl, one boy, parents together, oh great isn't this peachy keen let's just look on while the apple pie family is destroyed. My brother and I have been seperated for fourteen years, actually, thirteen, but still, it's a long time, and our parents are dead.

I turned the page and the most meaningful picture that I have ever seen was in front of me. It was a picture of me and Stan putting cake all over each other's faces on our first birthday. The shocking reality of it just made my heart feel like it was being squeezed in a juicer, and my body shook with silent sobs.

"Lily, I think we should go to bed, we have to go to school in four hours," Kenny said, concerned.

"O.K." I replied.

I gathered up all of the pictures and put them back in the suitcase, all except for the one of our first birthday, that one went to bed with me, and stays under my pillow, where it's been ever since.

My alarm clock blared noisily at 6:30 a.m. alerting me that I had to get my lazy ass up and get ready for school. I woke up and put on my favorite jeans and T-shirt and went into the bathroom, where I brushed my hair and teeth. I went downstairs to find Kenny sitting at the table eating Cocoa Puffs and drinking a Surge for his breakfast.

"That looks like a good way to start your day," I said. "Can you make me one?"

"Sure can madam. Would you like the exact same thing I have?" Kenny asked, mocking one of those French waiters you always saw on T.V.

"Yup." I replied.

After I had eaten my "nutritious" breakfast, Mrs. McCormick gave us a ride to school. This day at school would be one that I would never forget. It brought me one of the happiest times in my life, and it also brought me one of the scariest.

I went up to my T.A., which were arranged alphabetically, so I had Kenny and Stan in my T.A. I walked over to where Stan was and pulled him over to my table, where Shelly, Stan, Kenny and I would ususally sit, and sat him down.

"Stan, I have some things that are very important to ask you, and you better not lie about it. Stan, when's your birthday?" I asked.

"Christmas. Why the hell is that so important, Lily?" Stan asked, confused.

"What year were you born in?" I asked again.

"Lily, I don't know what this is..."

"Answer me, damn you!" I exclaimed

"1984." Stan replied reluctantly.

" I only have a few more questions for you, Stan. What's your middle name?"

Stan had learned by now that there was no way out, so he replied, "Craig."

"O.K., this is my last question for you. Stan were you adopted?" I asked. "I know this might seem personal, but, please, just answer me, truthfully."

"Yes, dammit, O.K.? Are you happy!? You just totally destroyed my..." Stan started, but I didn't let him finish.

"Look," I stated simply. I had gotten the baby book out of the attic and brought it to school just in case this exact scenerio happened. I opened up to the page where it gave our baby information and showed it to him.

Stan took the book and rolled his eyes, probably thinking I was going to bore him to death with some baby picures of me or Kenny, or somebody. As he read down the page, his eyes radiated pure shock. After he was done, he looked up at me, and I looked straight back at him and said, "It's nice to know who my brother is." I took the book from him and gave him a fierce hug, and didn't let go until the end of T.A., when Kenny and I had to leave for first period.

"Bye, Stan, I'll see you later. Come over more often!" I shouted back into my T.A.

"Bye, Lily! Thank you so much for what you did..." I couldn't hear anymore after that, we had progressed too far down the hall.

I was incredibaly bored throughout English, History, Gym, and French and thought the day would get at least a little better during and after lunch, but I was dead wrong. The day had been like a festering pimple, and at lunch time it exploded with great force.

I was sitting down at my normal table with Kenny, Stan, their ridiculous friend Kyle and their other friend Cartman. We had the entire South Park crew at my table, except for me, of course. My only female friend was Shelly, and she was now gone, so all my friends were guys, which isn't exactly bad. I pulled out my not so healthy lunch of "Cheesy Poofs" and "Snacky Cakes", as the guys called them, and an ice cold Surge and began to eat when a gunshot went off in the cafeteria. I turned around to see a man firing a shotgun, in our direction!

"Shit! Oh my God, you guys, get down!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Kenny, stupidly, was still sitting up and when I reached over to push him down, I had barely suceeded in doing so when a bullet whizzed into my wrist, shattering it into a million pieces.

"Holy fuck!" I screamed, and dove under the table.

"Lily, what the hell happened? Are you O.K.," Kenny asked.

"Oh, shit, Kenny, they shot me! Oh fucking Christ..." I started to cry, and Stan crawled over and held me in his arms. I sat there, sobbing, until the police and the E.M.T. came, but, by then, the killer was already gone.

I was loaded into the small cramped ambulance and Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny clambered in after me. They strapped me onto this board, which, mind you, I did NOT like at all, and strapped this little oxygen mask onto my face, which I hated even more. I felt the comforting hand of Kenny on my forehead, and he whispered something into my ear, but I didn't quite hear him, I had all of the sudden felt really tired. The bullet had hit one of the major arteries in my body, and I guess I had lost a lot of blood, because before I knew it, I was out like a light.

I awoke to find this numb sensation in my left arm, and a horrible headache. I opened one eyelid and saw a doctor peering intently at me.

"What are you looking at," I said weakly, but full of spunk.

"Well, it seems like you're back to normal. I'm Doctor Freeman, but you can call me Dave," Dave said, warmly.

"Where are Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny?" I asked.

"They're all out in the waiting room, waiting for word on your condition. I have to ask you a few questions, O.K.?"

"Shoot," I replied.

"What's your name?"

"Lily Catherine Marsh."

"Where do you live?"

"1369 South Park Street, Denver, Colorado. I live with Kenny."

"Parents names?"

"Deceased," I stated flatly.

"Your adopted parents?"

"Diana and Stuart McCormick."

"Any siblings?"

"One, who lives with someone else. His name is Stan Marsh."

"Is he one of the ones in the waiting room?"

"Yes. We're twins, nowhere near identical, though." I smiled.

"When were you born?"

"Christmas, 1984."

"I can already see your hair and eye color, um, I think that's it. You were very cooperative, unlike many of my patients," the doctor joked.

"The sooner I get out of here, the better," I replied.

"Well, that should be happening within the next couple of days. We had to do surgery on your arm, and that won't heal for about three or four months," the doctor stated.

"Three or four months?! That sucks! Why do I have to be in here for three or four months?" I asked angrily.

"No, not in here, you can be at home, and school, and stuff like that, but it means that your arm is going to be completely useless for that period of time. Is that your writing hand?" Dave asked.

"Yes! What the hell am I going to do? I can't write worth diddly squat with my right hand!" I exclaimed.

"Well, I guess your going to have to learn then," Dave replied simply.

"Dammit!" I muttered angrily. "Can you send in the guys now, it want to talk with them," I asked.

"Sure. I'll go get them and tell them what happened. Be back in a few," Dave replied cheerily.

"Bye," I answered.

It was a bit more then a "few" when he came back, it was really more like twenty, but he brought them up. They all had gone on a mad shopping frenzy to find a get-well gift, and they brought them with them.

"Hey, Lily, how ya feelin'," Kyle said happily.

"O.K., I guess. I could be feeling worse, or I could be P.M.S.ing," I said.

That got a laugh out of all of them.

"Oh watch out, Lily's pissed! She's gonna brain you with her cast and then make you eat dirt, cause she's P.M.S.ing!" Cartman joked.

More laughter erupted from us.

"Seriously now, Lily, are you really O.K.? If you need anything, we're just a phone call away," Kenny said, concerned.

"Dude, I'm fine, just bored as hell, that's all," I replied.

"Here, Lily, we all got you presents and cards. There's cards from people at school, too. Here," Stan said, and handed me his card first. I opened the envolope and read the front. It was homemade, and the words touched my heart. It read:

To the sister I didn't know I had,

Bonded by the troubles of both our mom and dad.

Seperated over the tragic course of a year,

When gunshots and smoke was all one could see or hear.

But in time of incredible heartbreak or pain,

Remember your brother, who you just happened to gain.

Love your bro,

Stan

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes.

"Stan, that is so beautiful. How long did it take you to write that?" I asked.

"Not very long, about ten minutes, at tops. Here, open your present," Stan said.

I tore open the wrapping paper and laughed like crazy at the prezzie. It was a big stuffed Stan, and when you pressed his hand, he talked. I pressed the hand.

"Shut up, fat ass!" The stuffed Stan told me.

"That is really cute, Stan! Thanks!"

"Lily, here, I want to give you your prezzie now. I'm a cheap ass, so I didn't get you a card," Cartman said.

"It's O.K.," I said, and ripped open the present, and once again, laughed. It was an inflatable Cartman chair, for my room, and he got an ottoman too, for me to put my feet on.

"Cool, Cartman, thanks!" I exclaimed.

Kyle gave me his next, and I opened it with great anticipation. Inside was a huge poster of Kyle that said "I'm am definately the cutest South Park kid, so kiss me!"

"Wow, that is so cool! I love it! Thanks, booby!" I said, michievously.

"Hey, don't call me booby!" Kyle said, laughing.

"Sorry," I replied.

The last present was from Kenny, and he looked from Stan, Kyle and Cartman, and they all nodded. He walked over and gave me the present. It was a card, and taped inside were two rings, one of Kenny, and one of some girl from South Park I didn't know. The card read:

Lily,

Ever since I saw you that first day on the street, cold, hungry, and dirty, even then I knew you were the one. You had the most gorgeous blonde hair and captivating purple eyes, they seemed to me like violets poking out from the snow. Even now, lonely, hurt and alone, you still radiate happiness. So, I got you this ring, the Kenny one, as a reminder that I do love you, and if you accept, then you can give the Lily one to me. If you don't, give it to someone else, but keep the Kenny one as a reminder that I am always with you, forever and always.

Love ya,

Kenny

"Kenny, that is sooo sweet. This ring, the girl one, is of me? How can that be, I'm not a character on South Park," I said, puzzled.

"Well, I kind of talked to Trey and Matt, you know, the creators, and they said that they would put you as a regular character as Stan's long lost twin sister. Do you accept my offer?" Kenny asked anxiously.

"Sure do," I replied without hesitation.

"Woo-hoo! You go Kenny! You snagged Lily Macmillan, I mean Marsh, and she's the hottest babe in the school!" Cartman exclaimed, being his normal self.

I leaned over and placed the ring of me on Kenny's finger, and he put the one of him on mine.

"I now pronounce you man and wife," Kyle said sarcastically.

I reached over and gave Kenny an awkward hug, it was the best I could do considering the circumstances, and then they left, reminding me to watch South Park tonight to see myself.

It was only a half hour until my show came on, and time passed slower then molasses waiting for it to come on. It finally did, and I was overjoyed. The episode was called Little Lost Lily, and it was about my entire life story, basically. I was left in the small town of South Park, and I met Kenny, who picked me up off the street and took me to his shack. I went to school with him the next day, and as we were standing at the bus stop, Stan looked over and said "Woah, dude, who is that?" I replied with "I'm Lily Marsh, who the hell are you?" Stan said, "You have the same last name as me? My name is Stan Marsh, and these are my friends Kyle and Cartman." "Hi," I said. The bus then arrived and Ms. Crabtree said "Get on, we're running late!" and I said "Shut up, you fat dirty old hag." She replied with "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" and I said "Kenny owns an old dirty nag." She said. "Oh, so do I." We arrived at the school and Mr. Garrison introduces me in front of the entire class. "Class, this is Lily Marsh. She's from Sacramento, California, and was left here by her adopted family that took her in because her parents were killed, and Kenny picked her up." "Woah, dude, she has purple eyes!" one kid exclaimed. "Dude, let me see!" shouted another.

Finally, I told them to "Go away, dammit, or I'll kick your asses!" and they all left. After school, we all decided to go over to Stan's house. I walked in and said "Hey, I'm Lily Marsh, um, that's your last name right?" Stan's mom replied "Yes." I called over to Stan "Stan, when's your birthday?" "Christmas," Stan replied. "Hey, me too! We have the same birthday!" I responded. I pulled out the baby book I had in my bag and said, "Hey you guys, and you too, Stan's parents, come look at this! These were pictures of me and my twin brother when we were babies!"

Kyle said, "Dude, you had a twin brother? Where is he now?"

"Probably murdered just like your lame ass parents," Cartman replied. "You mother fucking fucker! I'll kick your fucking smart ass, you fat tub of shit!" I exclaimed, and that was the end of that conversation. I opened the book up to the first page when Stan's dad said, "Let me see that," and took the book from me.

He read down the list of me and Stan, my twin brother, and his mom and dad looked back and forth between themselves and had the most hopeless look on his face. "Stan, I think it's time for you know, that, well, you aren't are real son." Stan's dad said.

"WHAT!" Stan shouted. "Stan, this girl, Lily, has brought her baby book, that really is yours too. Lily is your twin sister," Stan's mom said. "WHAT?" Stan and I said at the same time. "Dude this is really fucked up right here!" Stan exclaimed. Then, Sylvester the dog comes and drags Kenny into the middle of the road. "Oh shit! Fucking Christ! Dammit!" Kenny exlaimed. "Watch out, Kenny!" I screamed, and ran out into the road after him. Just as I got there, a truck full of petroleum came and ran them over, and the force of the blast threw me back. "Oh my God, they killed Kenny!" Stan yelled. "You bastards!" Kyle screamed. "Damn you all to hell!" I yelled, and got up off the ground. "He was too young to die," I said sadly. "Now where will I live?"

"I guess you can live with me, since you are my sister and all," Stan said. "O.K." I replied. "Hey Lily, wanna go to a movie some time?" Kyle called after Stan and I. "Sure, whatever," I called back, and that's when the episode ended.

I picked up the phone by the bed and called Kenny.

"Hello," Kenny said.

"Hey, what's up?" I replied. "Did you watch South Park? It was really funny. It described my life almost perfectly."

"Hi Lily! Yeah, I did see it. I told you it was cool. The other guys are here, too. We're bored out of our minds without a girl to talk to. Do you know when you're getting out?" Kenny asked.

"The doctor said maybe tomorrow," I answered.

"Great! I have to tell the others when we get off! They have to stay another night, because, tomorrow's Friday, and then we can all do something fun, how's that sound?" Kenny asked.

"Sounds fine by me. Kenny, I'm going to go, because I'm really tired, O.K." I said.

"Alrighty then, Lily, I'll see you tomorrow. Feel better!" Kenny said.

"I will, bye," I said and hung up the phone.

The next morning, after a really crappy night's sleep, I was let out. I was incredibly happy I couldn't even stand it. The hospital food made the school food seem like a gourmet meal by comparison. I had called Kenny's parents and they came over to get me, surprisingly, by themselves.

"Where are the guys?" I asked.

"Those boneheads? They're still sleeping," Diana said.

"How are you feeling?" Stuart inquired.

"Tired," I replied. "I didn't get what you'd call a good night's sleep."

Soon later, we pulled into the driveway to the house. I got out of the car as Stu grabbed my stuff and we walked in the house. It was strangely quiet, and I figured the boys must have been really tired to be sleeping this late. I walked into the living room and flopped down on the couch. I was just about to turn on the TV when all of the sudden twenty kids from our school leaped out and said "Welcome back Lily Mac!"

I screamed like bloody murder and said "Holy shit!" After that, I just started to laugh. When I had finally calmed myself down, I said "Hey, everyone, how's it going?"

We had this, well, I guess you could call it a party, and after it was over, only Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were left.

"We missed you, Lily," Kyle said.

"Yeah, we really needed female company," Cartman joked.

"Cartman, you have your own girlfriend, you had plenty of female company!" I exclaimed. "You all have girlfriends, but only one of you has me."

I looked over at Kenny and beckonded him to come over, and when he did, I gave him a hug.

"I missed you," Kenny said.

"I missed you too," I replied.

Kyle, of course, had to destroy the moment.

"Look, it's a Kodak moment! Smile, you're on my candid camera!" he said and he took a picture.

"You asshole!" I exclaimed and smacked him, hard. "I'm going to make you eat this camera if it flashes at me one more time!"

Kyle was laughing so hard tears were streaming down his face.

"This is going to be great in my couple issue of the school newspaper this week! God, Lily, that was classic!" Kyle gasped.

"Kyle, if you put that picture in the newspaper..." I started, but Kyle had run away from me.

I slept really well, I was glad to be in my own bed, and I didn't wake up until 1:00 in the afternoon. I stumbled out the door of my room and staggered down the stairs in my Kenny pajamas to get some lunch. There was a note on the table from Kenny, telling me that if I wanted to later, I could meet him over at Cartman's house to watch some classic movies. I decided to take him up on his offer and after eating and getting dressed, walked over to Cartman's house. I was greeted at the door by Cartman's mom.

"Hello there, Lily. The boys are in Cartman's room," she said.

"O.K.," I replied and walked up the stairs. They were all enthralled with an old James Bond movie; Goldfinger.

"Hi," I said, and sat down next to Kenny.

"Hey, Lily, we were wondering when you would ever wake up!" Kyle exclaimed.

"I was tired," I replied. "I still am, but, I can't stay in bed all day!"

This movie is one of the best James Bond movies. It was about this old rich guy who would kill people by painting them gold. It had that whole government conspiracy thing about it too, like every James Bond movie. When it was over, the most delicious smell was coming from the kitchen, and we decided to go and investigate. The smell wafted up the stairs as we descended down them, and then, we entered the kitchen and Mrs. Cartman had made brownies.

"Somebody's baking brownies!" Stan said.

We all went to the table and ate about twenty brownies. I felt so sick after that, but I didn't care, I was happy.

When I went back to school Monday, (and I can honestly say, I've never been more happy to go to school) everything was pretty much back to normal. Sort of. I had to type everything I wrote, which sucked. I hate typing. At least I got out of gym class for four months.

When lunchtime rolled around, I was petrified to go in the lunchroom. I didn't want the man to be in there, waiting to finish the job. Kenny finally coaxed me in, and we entered the lunchroom.

I looked around. No man here. They even had a cop in the school now, to prevent that kind of crap, so I relaxed.

After school, Kenny and I went home and I took a nice long bath. I needed to calm myself, and it worked. I left the bath feeling like a newborn baby, pure and divine, and I curled up on my bed and fell asleep.........................................

I was rudely awoken by a gunshot. It sounded very, very close, and I froze soild with fear. Then, with a sudden rush of adrenaline, I leaped out of the bed and ran down the hall into Kenny's room. What my eyes saw was shocking. Kenny had been shot, bad too, right in the chest, actually more like right in the heart. I immediately began to panic, but controlled myself. I pulled off my shirt and pressed it, hard, over his wound. I grabbed the phone by Kenny's bed and dialed 911, still pressing on the now drenched shirt. If the ambulence didn't get here soon, he was going to die.

The ambulence arrived five minutes later, and I woke up Kenny's parents and told them what happened, and we all clambered into the ambulence. I was crying my eyes out and shaking with fear and sadness. When we arrived at the hospital, Kenny was rushed into intensive care, and was in cardiac arrest.

He died of course. It was around 3:30 a.m., only an hour after the original shooting. I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting (well duh!), when the doctor came down to tell us the sad news.

"How is he?" I asked anxiously.

"Well...." the doctor started.

"Don't you give me that well bull-shit! I want to know what the fuck's wrong with my boyfriend!!!!" I screamed, and started crying again.

"He died a few minute's ago. We did all we could. I'm sorry," the doctor said.

"Sorry! Is that all you can say? I'm sorry?! This is the fourth person that has been close to me that's died in my life, my parents and my two best friends, and all you can say is "I'm sorry"! You should be kissing my ass and giving me hugs and crap like that!" I screamed hysterically. "I'm going to Kyle's house!" I yelled.

Kyle lived only a couple blocks from the hospital, and I cried and cried as I walked to his house. Flashbacks kept coming, when Kenny and I were crowned King and Queen of Winter Carnival, the talent show with him and Shelly, when he picked me up on the street, and when he asked me out.

I walked up to his door and knocked. Kyle, of course was still awake, like the moron that he is, and answered the door.

"Lily! What are you doing here? What's the matter?" he asked, concerned.

I walked in and sat down on the couch, and buried my face in my hand.

"Did Kenny break up with you?" Kyle asked.

All I could do was shake my head no.

"Well, then, what happened?" Kyle asked.

I finally found it inside me to speak.

"I...I woke up to a gunshot....and I...I went to investigate...and Kenny was...." I couldn't go on because I was crying too hard.

"Was what, Lily?" Kyle asked softly.

"He...he was shot, Kyle. He was shot right in the heart. I did what I could....we got him to the hospital, but..." I started crying again.

"He's dead, isn't he, Lily," Kyle asked quietly.

I nodded.

"I'm sorry, Lily. I knew how much he meant to you, and that you'll miss him more then any of us," Kyle said. Then, he began to cry too, and then we held each other, hopeless and lost, for a really long time, until we decided to call the others.

I picked up the phone and called Cartman's line.

"...hello...." Cartman mumbled.

"Cartman, this is Lily," I said.

"Lily, what's wrong? You sound like you've been crying." Cartman said, concerned. Everyone seems concerned, don't they?

"Cartman, Kenny's dead. They killed Kenny," I said.

"You bastards! That's a good one, Lily! Is this your idea of an early morning prank?" Cartman asked angrily.

"I'm not kidding. Someone sneaked into his room and shot him while were all sleeping...." I sobbed. "Talk to Kyle."

When Kyle straightened things out with Cartman, using some not so nice words in the process, we called Stan. This time Kyle did it all, I was too upset and angry.

None of us went to school the next day, and we all gathered Kenny memorabilia and brought it over to Kyle's house, where we all met. I had picture of us at Winter Carnival, last years and this year's yearbook (the school year was almost over) and I wore one of his old shirts. The feel of it was comforting, and I pulled it tight around myself.

I was so hurt inside that I could barely even think straight. I kept thinking "If I only could have been there sooner, then he wouldn't have died, he could still be alive," I mentioned that to the others.

"It wasn't your fault he died, Lily. Even if you were right there he still wouldn't have made it," Kyle stated.

I just nodded, and opened up the yearbook to the inside front cover. Kenny had signed my yearbook only a few short hours before he died. It read:

Lily, You'll have a great summer, I'll make sure of it. Luv ya, Kenny.

I just read that little sentence over and over and over again, everytime I would I would feel sadder and sadder. I knew I would explode, sooner or later, but I didn't want to, I had always been known as a "tough chick" around guys, but last night I cried in front of Kyle and I was not going to cry in front of Stan or Cartman. Never, not ever would I cry in front of them, especially Cartman. Yeah, right. Within one minute of reading that twenty times I was bawling my eyes out.

"Oh my God, look Lily's crying! I've never seen her cry, even when she got shot! Woah, she must be really sad!" Cartman exclaimed.

"Fuck you!" I sobbed. "Leave me alone!"

Then I thought about something, where was I going to live? I couldn't stay with the McCormicks, the memories of me and Kenny there would be too painful for me. I mentioned this to the guys.

"You could live with me, I guess," Kyle said.

"Is it O.K. with your family?" I asked.

"Probably. They think your cool," Kyle answered.

So that ended up being my new home, for the time being, at least.

"Here, let me see the yearbook, I didn't get one this year," Stan said.

I handed him the yearbook, and we all started looking at it.

"Hey, look, it's a picture of the four of us guys, not you, Lily," Cartman said.

I looked at the picture. It was of Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny being their normal idiotic selves. The caption read under it: Welcome to South Park, CO, here to greet you are Kenny, Stan, Kyle and Cartman.

The next picture really pissed me off. It was the one Kyle had taken of me and Kenny when I had first gotten back from the hospital. The little thing read: Aww...isn't it cute? Lily Marsh saves Kenny McCormick from trouble, and is repaid with a hug!

"Dammit, Kyle I told you not to put that in anything!! Why did you have to do that? You suck!" I exclaimed, and bashed him over the head.

"Ow, you bitch! That hurt! You knew I was going to do it anyway, why get so pissed about it?" Kyle asked.

"Sorry," I replied.

We turned to the page of all the superlatatives on it. They read as follows:

Most popular boy: Kenny McCormick

Most popular girl: Lily Marsh

Teacher's pet: Andrew Arrigoni and Suzanne Cline

Class Clown: Kyle Broslofski and Lily Marsh

Most talkative: Cheyenne Richards and Lily Marsh

Quietest: Trent Kilmore and Shelly Marsh

Cutest couple: Kenny McCormick and Lily Marsh

Best dressed guy: Kenny McCormick

Best dressed girl: Lily Marsh

Best eyes: Stan Marsh and Lily Marsh

Coolest voice: Eric Cartman and Jennifer Eldridge

Best hair: Chuck Morris and Lily Marsh

Most likely to become President: Stuart Hugh and Shelly Marsh

Most likely to be killed before they're twenty: Kenny McCormick, (ha, ha) and Kelly Tenner

Best group of guy friends: Kenny McCormick, Stan Marsh, Kyle Broslofski, and Eric Cartman.

Best group of girl friends: Lily Marsh, Shelly Marsh, Jennifer Eldridge, and Suzanne Cline

Wierdest: Kelly Tennor and Kyle Broslofski

Best singer: Lily Marsh

"Lily, you won way too much! That's not fair!" Cartman exclaimed.

"I didn't think I would, but I did. People can surprise you," I replied smoothly.

Stan and Cartman went home after that, and I moved into my new bedroom. I lay on the bed, and was thinking about how Kenny and I would pull all-nighters on the internet, drink entire 24 packs of Surge, and be crazy for the longest time, all on a school night. I fell into a deep, dreamless, sleep, and slept soundly.

BEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

The alarm screamed into my ear. I awoke from hibernation and stumbled down stairs to eat. After eating, I got dressed and ready for the day, and Kyle and I walked to school.

We had an assembly today, in rememberance of Shelly and Kenny, who died and they wanted me to talk about them, so I had a speech ready.

The assembly began and we all sat down.

"As many of you know, two students here, Shelly Marsh, and Kenny McCormick, have been murdered in the past two weeks. Shelly was smart, intellectual, and quiet while Kenny, her total opposite, was loud, ridiculous, and hilarious. Many a time he was sent to my office. Now, from a very close friend to both of these people, Lily Marsh. Lily, will you please come up here?" Principal Forbes asked.

I walked up to the stage and stood behind the podium and began my speech.

"As you all know, my name is Lily Marsh, an eighth grader here at Denver Elementary. Two weeks ago, my best friend, Shelly Marsh, was found hung from a flagpole, burning. Just two days ago, my very best friend and boyfriend, Kenny McCormick, was shot in his room, right down the hall from mine. He died in front of my eyes only an hour after the original shooting. Also, about a week ago, I too was shot, but I'm still alive to tell about it. Lucky for me, it only hit my arm, and didn't smash into my face. Shelly and Kenny were not so fortunate. I want everyone to know that if someone in your family has died, that you should come to me, because my parents were murdered when I was only one. And to think I'm the girl everyone wants to be. The only living relation I even know of is of my brother, Stan Marsh, who's out there somewhere in Laa-Laa land."

That got a laugh out of everybody.

"I just want to let them know, that I miss them very much and if I found out who the killer is, I want to be the one that pulls the switch. Thank you," I said, and started to cry.

After everyone was done appaulding, Principal Forbes put in a video the school had made about Kenny and Shelly's life, Shelly being first. It showed her when she was a baby, all of her little friends, what she did during her abruptly ended life, and the picture that meant the most to me was the one of me and Shelly with our arms around each other, sticking our tounges out at the camera.

Next was Kenny. It showed his life, and what he did, him hanging out with his friends, and one of me and him sitting on their porch swing, with our bathing suits, getting ready to go swimming. I was so saddened by all the pictures and the movie, I was crying my eyes out, and so was most of the school.

The next day was Kenny's funeral. Kenny's parents were there, and so were all of my friends. The ceremony was beautiful, it touched me, and everyone else there, too. I watched them lower the coffin into the grave, and the lower the coffin got to the bottom, the more weight would be shoved on my chest. Before everyone left, I was asked to sing "Amazing Grace."

"Amazing grace, how sweet the sound. That saved and set me free…" I started to cry right there and never finished. When everyone had left after it was over, I walked over to the grave and said "Roses are red, people are dog's master's, Oh my God, they killed Kenny, you bastards. Rest in peace, babe. I'll miss you." Then I bowed my head and cried.

School was horrible. I felt so lost without Kenny, he was there for me when I screwed up. I had to deal with just Kyle, joy!

(and if you know Kyle like I do, it's no joy!)

Guys also thought that now that Kenny was dead, I was up for sale. Uh-uh, no way was I ready for another boyfriend. I can barely take my guy friends, let alone another guy to care about. They have no idea what it's like to lose someone you loved like part of your family.

After school I talked with Stan.

"Hey Stan, 'sup?" I asked.

"Nothin'. Lily, are you o.k.?

"What do you think?" I retorted.

"Not so good, huh?" he replied.

"Stan, your the only person I have now, in the entire world! I can't lose you too. Please, don't get yourself killed," I pleaded.

"I won't Lily, I won't." he replied firmly.

Kyle and I walked home, (which for me now, was his house) with heavy hearts.

"I never realized how dead the school seems now without Kenny," Kyle said sadly.

"I know what you mean. Oh Kyle, why couldn't they have taken me instead? No one really has any reason to care about me, except for Stan. Kenny had a family that loved him!! People that cared about him everyday of his life! Friends like you and me that would have given their lives just to see him safe!" I exclaimed, and started to cry. (I hate crying in front of Kyle! Dammit!)

"Lily, that's not true! Me and Stan and Cartman and Mr. and Mrs. McCormick care about you more then anything! You're the only bright spot in our lives! You're the only girl friend that we have, so of course we care about you! And especially Stan. He would be absolutely devastated if you died. You're all he has, and he's all you have! You guys depend on each other! What do you think he would do if you dropped dead tomorrow? He would kill himself! I know he would, because that's how much he cares about you. And I know that Kenny or Cartman or me would have done the exact same thing!" Kyle said.

I thought about what he had said for a really long time.

"I guess your right. People out there do care about me. Still......Kenny should be alive! It's not fair! You hear me, you asshole that killed him..."IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"I'm sorry Lily. I'm sorry," Kyle replied.

"Kyle..." I started.

"What is it, Lily?" Kyle asked.

"Help me through this. Get me help or something because I've been thinking about...well...you know....commiting suicide and stuff." I said, not wanting to admit that.

"Lily, you can't do that!" Kyle said, shocked. "Why would you....NO! You're NOT commiting suicide! You shouldn't kill yourself because he's dead, Lily! Get over it! He's dead, and he's never coming back! Never....."

I awoke with a start, crying and shaking with fear. I sprang out of bed and ran into Kenny's room. He was there, sleeping soundly, alive. I ran over to his bed an woke him up.

"Kenny! Wake up, Kenny! Get up!" I screamed.

"......huh?...." Kenny groaned.

"Oh God, you're alive! Thank God!" I criend hysterically.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kenny asked, confused.

"I had the the most horrible dream! I dreamed that the man that shot me came into your room and killed you. And then I was about to commit suicide....and I woke up. It was so real, Kenny! It scared me!" I said, hyperventallating and crying.

"It's O.K., Lily. It's O.K. I'm still here, I'm alive, there's nothing to worry about," Kenny said, shushing me. He pulled me into his arms and I just sat there, crying, for the longest time.

"I'm glad I have a friend like you," I finally said, after sitting there for a half an hour on his bed. "You're like everything to me, a friend, a brother, everything! I guess because I never knew one....well, except for Stan."

"Same here." Kenny replied. You're like my sister because you live with me, and we both come from the same family situation and you're like my friend because you're there for me when I need you the most."

He gave me a gentle hug (if he did it too hard, then he would squeeze my arm) and I went off to bed.

School. The montony of school is appaling. Go to locker. Go to T.A. Go to English. Go to History. Go to Gym/Chorus....it's the same thing every single day. Except for the last day of school...which was today.

Aaahhhhh....YES!! The last day of school is GREAT! Everyone signs your yearbook and you just hang out in class and everyone cries because they're all going to high school next year. It's a chance for everyone to hold hands around a fire and sing Kum Bay Yeh....not exactly, but you get the point.

After school....summer was here! Woo-hoo! This summer the five of us, Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny and I were planning to go on vacation to Maine with Stan's adopted parents. This summer was goning to be awesome!

Right after school ended that day, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and I hopped into Stan's family's, the Chase's, winnebago, and off we went. The ride to Maine was so FUCKING long!!! It was like a three day trip just to get there, but at least we had one of those winnebagos to ride in. Us kids would sit in the back of the winnebago, watching T.V., playing Nintendo, eating or sleeping as we chose, while poor Mr. and Mrs. Chase drove the entire time. (It's not like we could have drove anyway, we still had four or more months till we got our permits). When we finally got to Maine (thank GOD!) we leaped out of the winnebago and started dancing around.

"If I had to be in that car one more hour, just ooonneee more, I would have killed somebody!!" Kyle said, relieved.

"I know exactly what you mean," I replied.

We went inside of our little beach house and went up to our room, which we all had to share, joy! (At least there were five beds) We all began to unpack. All the guys had one bag of stuff, except for Kenny, bevause he brought all the goodies (like the C.D. player and the C.D.'s, the T.V., the V.C.R., the videos, you get the idea.) I, however, had four bags of stuff.

"Lily! You're such a loser! Why the hell did you bring four bags of clothes for a two week vacation?" Cartman asked.

"Because I don't want to be wearing the same three outfits for two weeks," I retorted.

"She packed her entire wardrobe," Kenny said, jokingly.

"I did not!" I said. "There's still all of my dresses... actually... never mind."

"Caught ya there, Lily!" Kyle said.

"Yeah, well at least I'm, not gonna wear a SPEEDO out on the beach!!" I said.

"I don't have a speedo, I have a normal bathing suit, like everyone else...except for you," Kyle retorted. "You're probably wearing a friggin bikini or something."

"Exactly." I said.

Mrs. Chase, Leia, called up the stairs. "Hey, you guys wanna go swimming?"

"Hey, there's a girl up here," I said jokingly.

"Sure! Come on you guys! Let's get changed!" Kenny said.

"Lily, are you gonna come?"

"Probably," I replied.

We all got changed and walked out to the beach across the street. The boys ran like morons and leaped into the water.

"Lily!" Kyle called. "Aren't you gonna come in?"

"I can't you loser! I'm not allowed to get my cast wet!!!" I yelled back.

"Oh yeah..." he said. "Why don't you just put a garbage bag around your arm?"

"And look like a total freak? No thanks, I'd rather kill myself," I replied.

"So, what are you going to do then?" Kenny asked.

"Tan." I said.

I spread out my Kenny towel (don't ask) and put up my umbrella, for when I got hot. I applied tanning oil all over myself, and streched out in the sun. I must have drifted off, because the next thing I remember is waking up really, really cold. I felt my bathing suit, and it was soaking wet! I snapped my eyes open to find Kyle standing over me with a bucket in his hand, empty.

"Oh shit!" Kyle said, and he took off.

I got up and took off after him, running faster then I ever had before.

"KYLE!! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

I looked over at Cartman, Stan, and Kenny, who were in hysterics in the water. I flipped them the bird.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I yelled at them.

By now I was right up with Kyle. I grabbed and pulled him down into the sand.

"Guess what now, Kyle..." I started.

"What..." Kyle said, expecting the worse.

I leaned over and gave him a big fat kiss, right on the lips! "That's what!" I said.

"AAAAAAHHHHHH!! EEWW!! GROSS! OH GOD!" Kyle ran off, screaming. "YOU GUYS, SHE KISSED ME!! AGGGHHH!! SICK!"

I almost peed myself, I was laughing so hard.

"Hey Lily! I wanna a kiss too!" Cartman said.

"Come get it!" I shouted back.

"Eew, Kenny, you need to teach her how to kiss right! God, that was gross!" Kyle said, disgusted.

"O.K.," Kenny said. He got out of the water and walked over.

"You don't need kissing lessons, do you?" he asked.

"NO!" I said. "I kissed Kyle really gross to get him back for..." I started, but he silenced me with a kiss.

"Lily! Why don't I get a kiss like that?" Kyle said, disappointed.

"Because you're, number one, a loser, and number two, not my boyfriend!" I yelled back.

While I was doing this, Cartman was sneaking up on me, and he grabbed me and carried me out to the water, and was about to throw me in when Kenny came behind him and tackled him. I was dropped and landed on my ass in the shallow water.

"Dammit! You suck Cartman! I'm getting a fucking garbage bag! Then we'll see who kicks who's ass!" I said angrily.

I stalked off back to the house and pulled a garbage bag out from under the sink, put it around my arm and tied it really tight so no water would get in. The, luckily for me, I found some waterproof tape and put that all around the trashbag. I walked back out to the beach.

"Laugh and you're dead," I said.

"Here's Lily Marsh, modeling the newest style, the garbage bag look! For all broken-armed swimmers everywhere, this new style will allow you to..." Kyle started, but I leaped into the water and pulled him under.

"I'll give you "new style!" I said, still holding Kyle under water. "Here's Kyle Broslofski. modeling the new I'm being drowned by a girl style!" I let Kyle come up for air then.

"ack....Lily....salt waters...gross!" he said, gasping for air.

"I'm sorry...not really, but still..." I said.

"AAAHHHH!!" Kenny said as he leaped up behind me and shoved me under.

"AAGHHGUUULLPPPGGRRKKKAAAHH!" I said as I struggled to get up out of the water. Kenny finally let me up.

*Gasp* I said. When I regained my breath I got an idea.

"Hey, you guys! Let's swim out the that rock out there!"

"I don't know Lily, it looks awfully far out." Kyle said. He was right, the rock was a good half mile out in the open ocean.

"Come on, you wuss! It'll be fun!" I pleaded.

"Lily, how are you of all people going to be able to swim out there that far?" Kenny asked. "Do you think your arm is going to be able to handle that?"

"It needs the exercise," I replied. "Come on, let's go!"

We all dove in and started swimming. Kenny and Kyle were right. This was a long swim, and I was really getting tired.

"Lily, you O.K.?" Kenny asked, concerned.

"Yeah," I said. Not really, but still, I didn't want to worry Kenny more then he already was.

We finally reached the rock after a good hour of swimming. We crawled up onto it's warm surface and lay there in the sun for a while, until we got our breath and strength back, and then we left again. I would regret this decision for the rest of my life. About halfway back, a strong current caught Stan and pulled him under.

"Lily! help...." Stan screamed.

"STAN!" I screamed, and tried to dive after him, but Cartman held me back. I kicked myself lose from him and dove under.

"Lily! Don't go down there! You could be killed!" he said.

"I HAVE TO GO GET MY BROTHER!!!!" I screamed in anguish. I groped frantically around the water and grabbed Stan's hand, and pulled as hard as I could. The current finally let go of him and he came up, but he wasn't breathing.

".....noooooo...." I cried. "..please lord...noooooo." Stan, wake up! Stan, Stan? STAN!! SSSSTTTTTAAANNNN!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. We started swimming back as fast as we could, and when we reached the shore, a frantic Mr. and Mrs. Chase met us.

"What's wrong with Stan?" Mrs. Chase cried.

"A current caught him and pulled him under and now he's unconcious and he's not breathing." Kyle cried hsyterically.

"Lily! You're the fastest one here! Go call 911! Kenny, go with her! I'm doing CPR!" Mr. Chase said, taking charge. "The rest of you just get out of my way!"

Kenny and I took off for the house, running like we were being chased by an ax-murderer. I burst through the door and called 911.

"Hello, this is 911 what's your emergency?"

"My brother was caught in an undertow and now he's not breathing!! Send help, quickly!" I said panicking.

"Where are you located?"

"We're at York Beach, across from the Plansview Beach complex," I said, forcing myself to be calm.

"We're on our way," the operator said as I hung up.

Kenny and I ran back to where Stan was.

"They're coming!" Kenny yelled.

"Come on Stan...just a little bit longer you have to hold out... please, baby, don't leave now..." Mrs. Chase sobbed to herself.

After about three minutes we heard the screaming of sirens in the distance, and about a minute after that, the EMT's pulled up. They clambered out of the ambulance and pulled out a strecher.

"Everybody clear!" one yelled.

We all backed away from where he was, and the EMT's took over. The loaded him onto the strecher and we all clambered into the ambulence after him.

They EMT's finally got Stan breathing again on the way to the hospital, but he had been without air for six minutes or so, and that meant he could have some brain damage. They flung the strecher out of the ambulence and quickly wheeled Stan into the emergency room, and then straight up the intensive care unit.

He died of course. He was pronouced dead only ten minutes after they got him there. A doctor came down to tell us the sad news.

"How is he?" Mrs. Chase cried.

"Well...I'm afraid Stan has died. He died about a minute ago. I'm sorry," The doctor said.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed. "OH GOD WHY!!!!! NOT STAN TOO!!!"

Kenny reached over and pulled me close. "It's O.K., Lily, it'll be O.K., we pulled through this once, we can do it again." he said, trying his best to stay calm himself. We both sat there and cried over our lost friend.

The rest of vacation was horrible. Everytime I went up into our room I would see Stan's bag and I would start to cry, but then, so did everyone else. On the last day of our vacation in Maine, I went out to the beach alone, and stood on the sand and screamed, "WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME!! YOU TOOK MY BROTHER AND BOTH OF MY PARENTS! WHO NEXT? ME? KENNY? KYLE? I HATE YOU!! .....I hate.....you." I collapsed onto the sand and sobbed.

I was never the same after Stan died. I knew after him that there was no relative that I knew about, so I was all alone in the world. All I had was pictures and the precious memories we had from our short time together.

We held a funeral for him the day we arrived back from Maine. The thought of his casket being empty as we lowered it into the ground was a saddening one. After the ceremony I stood by the tombstone, holding the note I had attempted to write (I still couldn't write well, damn my arm to hell!) in my hand, and knelt down on the ground. I placed the note on his tombstone with a single lily I had picked from the fields that surrounded the cemetery.

"Rest in peace, bro." I said softly to myself and cried until someone put their hand on my sholder. It was Kyle.

"What do you want?" I asked shakily.

"I just wanted to say good-bye to an old friend...." Kyle said before he too began to cry.

We both just sat there, the two of us, until it began to rain.

I walked home and greeted Kenny at the door.

"Kenny? Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Sure," he replied.

"What would you do if I died?" I said.

Kenny was speechless. When he regained his voice, he asked. "Why would you want to know that?"

"Well, you never know, something could happen to me, and I could die tomorrow, just like what happened to Stan....." I said, my voice growing shaky when I mentioned Stan's name.

"Oh, well, I honestly have no clue what I would do you if you died, Lily. That has to be the most saddening thought I've had since Stan died," Kenny said. Changing the subject, he said "Hey, I have an idea. Let's all go to a movie!" he suggested.

"Whatever," I said listlessly. I couldn't have cared less what we were doing. But, Kenny had a point, I needed to get my mind off Stan.

We called the others and off we went. We saw the movie Varsity Blues, which was a mildly amusing movieabout a football team gone bad. It was O.K., but it did get my mind off Stan for a while at least.

When the movie was over we all went to Kyle's house for a sleep-over. It would have been more fun if Stan was there....but I don't really want to talk about that.

When we arrived at Kyle's, we decided that we wanted to have a seance.

"Who should we raise?" Cartman asked.

We all though for a minute, all knowing who we wanted to raise anyway, just waiting for someone to say it. Kenny finally broke the silence.

"How bout we raise Stan?" he said.

"O.K." we all replied.

We took out the four candles we had and lit them, and got into a circle around them. Since Stan was my brother, I led the group.

"Stan, if you are there, please send us a sign, but not a violent one. Please don't be angry with us, we miss you, and we want to talk to you!" I said.

We all closed our eyes and focused on Stan. Just as we were about to give up, a light flashed and we heard a familar voice. "I'm here." it said.

"Stan?!" I asked excitedly. "Is it you?"

"Who else would it be, Superman?" he said in his ever sarcastic way of his.

"Let me see you."

We opened our eyes and saw a faint shimmering figure of a spirit, but it was undoubtly Stan.

"Can we touch you?" Kyle asked uncertainly.

Stan shook his head sadly. "Sorry," he said.

I was crushed when he said that. I wanted so much just to reach out and give him a hug, just one more time, let me feel him, and reflect on the short time we spent together.

Suddenly, right after I thought that, a light flashed and Stan was solid, just like you or me, a normal person.

"Stan!" I screamed as I leapt up and flung myself into his arms.

"Lily! Oh, Lily, I miss you so much...." Stan said, choking back tears.

"Stay like this Stan, don't leave me," I said, pleading. "Why can't you just stay!? Stay here with me!"

"I can't, Lily, I don't have the power to! Trust me, if I could I would be here forever! But I can't Lily....." Stan said, trying to comfort me as I sobbed. "I have to go now, Lily." he said.

"NO! Stan, don't leave me now!" I screamed.

"Goodbye, Lily. I'll see you later one day...."

The figure vanished and our candles went out. Cartman leaned over and flicked on the lights.

"Woah, I didn't think that would actually work," Kyle said.

I looked up at Kenny, my eyes still full of tears and said, "Why couldn't I have grabbed him sooner?! Why wasn't I there for him? Oh, Kenny....." I started crying those big crocadile tears, those ones you save for those really heart-wrenching situtations

"Lily, it wasn't your fault he died! You have to stop taking the blame for things like this! It wasn't because of you, none of us could have got him out of that current fast enough!" Kenny said.

I didn't say anything, I just held my head shamefully. Kenny was right, I needed to stop blaming myself.

We went to bed after that, and I had a restless night sleep. I would keep waking up, I couldn't sleep for more than an hour without snapping awake, just as unrested as I was before.

The next day Kenny and I went home, and I figured things would start to get back to normal soon. Well, I was dead wrong. Just I was beginning to get over Stan being dead....well, let me start from the beginning.

I was walking home from school about four months after Stan drowned, with Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman. I had just gotten my cast off two days before, so I was pretty happy with myself. As we were walking, we didn't notice that Cartman wasn't with us anymore until we got to our house.

"Hey, you guys, where's Cartman?" Kyle asked, anxious.

"Wasn't he with us?" Kenny replied.

"I thought he was. Let's go find him...." Kyle said, and we went back to go look for him. What we found when we did find him would leave the three of us shocked for life.

We backtracked down to Maple street, and we looked down an alley, calling for him.

"Cartman, you fat fuck! Where are you?" I yelled.

We turned down the alley, thinking he might be hiding from us, and, that's where we found him allright, but not anything like we had expected.

Cartman was lying on the pavement, shoved behind a garbage can, brutally stabbed. Surprisingly, he was still alive whe we arrived.

"Cartman! OH MY GOD!" Kyle screamed.

I ran over to where he was and knelt by his head.

"Cartman....you're gonna be O.K., babe, you're gonna be allright. Go, Kyle, go call an ambulence, it'll be O.K." I said in denial.

".....don't even....bother, Lily. Just tell my mom I'll....miss her......." Cartman uttered as he died there, with his head in my hands.

"AAAGggggg.......hhhhhh" I cried, fading off as I lapsed into a state of shock. I sat there, motionless and speechless, until Kenny pulled me up.

"Come on, Lily. We have to go tell his mom," he said.

We walked with heavy hearts to the Cartman household, each of us not wanting to be the ones to break the news to Mrs. Cartman, who didn't deserve this. Cartman was all she had, and now he's been taken away from her, just like he'd been taken away from us. Our group, which had once been up to six, was now reduced to three, depressed teens.

We arrived at the Cartman house and stood outside the door, looking at each other. Kyle broke the silence.

"Well, who's going to be the one to break the news?" he asked seriously.

"I will," I said. "I need to for once."

I knocked on the door and Mrs. Cartman answered.

"Oh, hi, you guys. Where's Cartman? I though he was with you." she said.

"Well, um....well...that's why we're here. Ummm.....Mrs. Cartman, I don't know how to tell you this,.....but.....Cartman is dead. Someone took him off while we were talking and killed him in an alley......I'm so sorry...." I said.

I will never forget the look on Mrs. Cartman's face. She went from happy and smiling to complete and total shock in about one second flat. Her hand went over mouth.

"Oh, GOD!!" she screamed in anguish. Kenny made himself useful by taking Mrs. Cartman into his arms and comforting her and she cried.

Kyle and I looked at each other, and we both said, "I'll miss you, Cartman." at the same time, and then Kyle started to cry.

"Why do all of our friends have to die? I'm afraid that it's gonna be me next!" Kyle said in between sobs. "At this rate, we could all be dead tomorrow! Lily, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know, Kyle. I just don't know." I said and I put my arm around his shoulder and let him cry it out.

After we were done at Mrs. Cartman's house, and she had filed her police report, Kenny and I went home, and so did Kyle. We were so sad, during the course of about six or seven months, three of our best friends had died, and we had the risk of dying too. It was too much for the two of us to take in.

As we were walking home, I slipped my hand into Kenny's for some comfort. We walked back, silent, each thinking our own thoughts. We arrived at the house and as soon as we got in, we called Kyle to make sure he got home allright.

"Hello?" Mrs. Broslofski (what a mouthfull!) said.

"Hi, is Kyle there?" I asked.

"Yeah, hold on." There was a scuffle as she got Kyle.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hi, Kyle, it's Lily."

"Oh, hi, Lily, I was just about to call you guys too."

"We just wanted to amke sure you got home O.K." I said. "I'll let you go."

"Okay, see ya later."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and turned toward Kenny.

"Let's go to bed," was all he said.

We went upstairs and went to sleep.

The next few weeks were really tough for the three of us. Without Cartman, Stan, or Shelly around we didn't really have much more people to talk to. Everything I had ever lived for in my life was brought to a head on October 31, 1999, while we were out trick-or-treating. (Of course, we were a little old to go trick-or-treating, but what the hell. It's the only night of the year you can beg free candy off people.) Kyle, Kenny, and I walked down Stephen Drive when it happened. What we thought was a crude halloween trick was like Alica Sliverstone from hell, scary and clueless.

A figure lept out from behind a bush and scared the shit out of us.

"Holy shit!" I screamed.

The figure laughed.

"It's time, LILY!" he said.

I had no fucking clue what this meant, and I had no idea how this guy even knew me.

"Lily, watch out!" Kyle screamed.

I turned around the entire world felt like it was in slow motion. The figure was soaring through the air, his knife gleaming in the moonlight, and I tried to get away, and as I turned I saw Kyle leap at the guy out from the corner of my eye, bowling him over. I found myself, down on the pavement, too scared to even breathe. I looked up when I had composed myself and the man had Kyle in a headlock, and he kicked his legs out from underneath of him. He collapsed and landed the wrong way, all I could hear was the wet snap of his leg as it buckled underneath him.

"FFFFFUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!" Kyle screamed.

When I saw Kyle go down I got so pissed all I could see was red. I picked up the knife that the man, which by now I had figured was the man trying to kill us, and pounced on him, brandishing the knife.

The man rolled over to stare at me, and just as I was about to slit his throat, he kicked me, hard. I was flung off of him and the knife slipped out of my hand, giving me a really nasty cut.

Kenny was up in a second, grabbing the knife. Before the man could even blink he was on him, slicing and tearing away.

"Eat this, you asshole!" Kenny yelled as he sliced open his throat.

I will never, ever forget the noise that he made when he died. It was a gasping, chocking, gag, those really annoying ones you saw on movies, only it was real. He gave one final shudder and then lay still, dead.

"You two allright?" Kenny asked.

"I'll be fine. We have to help Kyle," I replied.

I had wrapped my hand up with a piece of my shirt I tore off, so it could wait. We ran over to Kyle, who was a mess. The killer had really hit his mark. Kyle was really shaken up, bruised, battered, and from the looks of it, had his leg snapped in half.

"Kyle, do you think you could get up?" I asked, worried.

"Nooooo...." he said, crying. "It hurts soooo much....."

"Kenny, you stay here with Kyle, I'll go get help," I ordered.

I ran off at top speed, screaming at the top of my lungs. A man came out of his house at the sound, and, after explaining everything that happened to him, he called 911.

Kyle was rushed off to the emergency room, where he was treated for a concussion and a broken leg, while Kenny and I got my hand cleaned and bandaged. (It stung like hell!!)

"Thank God that's over with," Kenny said.

"Poor Kyle," I replied.

We went up into his room and visited him. He was a mess, and pissed as hell.

"How the hell am I supposed to do track now?" Kyle grumbled. "This sucks so much ass that it's not even funny!"

Kenny and I walked up to his bed.

"There, there. There, there." I said sarcastically as I patted his sholder.

"Fuck off, Lily. I'm not in the mood..." Kyle started.

"We'll visit you later, if you want, Kyle. See ya later!" I said.

I slipped my arm around Kenny's waist and said, "Come on, Kenny, let's go home."

We walked off towards our home, facing in the setting sun, me with a single lily in my hair, and Kenny with his arm wrapped tightly around me, reflecting on the thoughts of our fallen friends, and then we understood that never is forever, the end is the beginning, and that's where you have to start.