~~Untitled~~

What was that
I needed
once
at the
beginning,
that I sought
and I longed for;
how many nights
must I have
dreamed
of it,
waiting
at the window
for what
wasn't there?
Somewhere out
in the void
and the shadow
I thought
hope lurked,
I wished
light hid,
but bitter years
have shown
that the corners
are only nests
of deeper shade,
and despair
is the brightest
of candles
yet burning.
Yes,
and how long
looking
in all this
nothing
for something,
for a word
beyond facing
that fear
I locked away;
wandering alone
still
and always
will it be
like this,
a few
deaths
away from
living.

(c) 7/00 The Mad Poet (A.K.LaBelle)