Body Title: Welcome To My World

Author: Monnie

Rating: G

Disclaimer: There IS no disclaimer! Hahaha!

Summary: What am I supposed to say? It's a story about all the weird people in my neighbourhood.

Authors Notes: I was bored when I did this. Humor me. Send feedback to [email protected]

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Okay, before I start- yes, I am aware this is a very odd idea for a story. Let's just say it came to me on day. *g* Well...actually, the inspiration for this came from my mom. You see, she has a different name for everyone in our surrounding area. And we live on a corner so that can amount to a lot of people sometimes. Oh, look at me just babbling on and on...let's start the story!

I live in a fairly quiet part of town. But a five minutes drive in any direction will show you that our city is anything but quiet. With a school right next door, and several shopping malls a few minutes away, there's always something going on.

Let's start with the pink, roach infested house across the street. No one has ever stayed here longer than a year. The stairs are chipped, the paint has faded, and as the name indicates- roach infested. It's always fun watching the new vict- I, I mean residents move in. But for some strange reason, they never seem to leave the house. I swear to God, this is true! They're like hermits or something! To tell you the truth, I don't even know what the people there look like! Ahem.

Now onto the first half of the semidetached house beside it. And elderly man named Cecil used to live there. He was eighty-something years old and he still used to ride a bike. And he'd pick up empty beer cans for the ten cent return. But he passed away a few months ago. God rest his soul.

Recently, a middle-aged couple moved in with God knows how many children. They put a whole bunch of plastic junk (flamingoes, fake flowers, bikes, chairs, etc...) on their lawn. I'm not saying this stuff is bad. It's just that they have waaay too many stuff scattered ALL over their lawn. That's how they acquired the nickname "The Garage Sale People". Because they look like they're having a yard sale 24/7.

We now move on to the next house. A younger blonde woman lives here with her boyfriend. Hmmm...There isn't anything really weird about them. So let's move on!

Ah, I love this place. There's an older Indian man who lives here. Personally, he cracks me up. Every morning he comes outside in a towel to get his newspaper. Once, I saw him drive somewhere (probably the mall) in his pajamas! Come on, who goes to the mall wearing pajamas? LOL.

The next house over, there's a guy who loves looking out his window. He has venetian blinds, and when he thinks you're not looking, he lifts the slits up ever so slightly and stares right at you. It freaks me out! I wonder if he knows voodoo...His name is 'Radar' because he's always in everyone's business.

The next house over there's a large family, who, in some ways, are very similar to the "Garage Sale People". Have you ever had a barbeque reeeally late at night in complete darkness? That's what these people did. I was watching tv one night and I happened to look out the window. A burst of flames shot up on the front lawn right across the street. Not expecting it to be a barbeque, we were about to call 911. But then the smell wafted through our open windows. We went outside with a flashlight, and yes, they really were having a BBQ in the dark, dead of the night.

Now to the opposite side of the street. There's a cpouple here who spend all their time baby-sitting and gardening. But today I'm just gonna talk about the gardening. You can tell they don't really like gardens. They're just doing it to compete with the "Garage Sale People" for the 'better looking lawn'. It's really very funny watching to see what they'll do next.

Next door there's this guy named Morris and his wife named...well I dunno her name. She doesn't talk to people much. And when she does, she's always in a bad mood. I feel sorry for her husband.

Well...thats about everyone. Thanks for letting me waste your time! Send feedback to [email protected] or review the story below! :)