Searching My Soul

Slowly, I walked
through thedepths of my soul.
I'm looking,
for something to hold, something to hold in my fingers, close to my heart.
But nothing is there,
except for the feeble thoughts and hopeless daydreams of loves lost,
fluttering likethe fragile butterflies, or bats through my vacant mind.
They flutter helplessly in chaos,
as I call to them.
And so I continue my journey,
knowing I will find nothing.
No hope, no love, no hate, no fear, no courage, no care, no kindness, only nothing.
Just the emptiness
that seems to surround me and follow always as I embark on these travels.
And nothing can save me,
for everything I touch, I destroy or stain or much, much worse.
So hold on tight as you fly away,
for the world is just a playground, and we are just the observing birds
or the children on the swings
just watching the other children have the time of their lives.
I'm getting deeper and deeper,
but there is still nothing to find.
And as I place my head on the cheap, old carpet, watching life flow out,
I know the truth.