Funny Pick-Up Lines

I didn't write any of thess, they are all from a website for the Boutavi Brothers

Wanna be as cool as the Roxbury Guys. Well, here are some pick-up lines to help you out:
Are you a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns!
Is your father a thief? Because he must have stole the stars to put in your eyes.
Have you been drinking juice? Because you're veryfine.
I'm good at math. U+I=69
Hey pretty lady, I wish I were some sort of astronaut so I could crawl into your black hole.
Hey baby, lets go camping. I'll supply the pork and beans.
If you were a bed of nails I'd still lay on you.
If you were on top of my TV I'd watch you instead.
If you were my dog the first trick I'd teach you would be sit.... on me.
Lets play house.... you be the wife and I'll be the husband and we can have children.
Even if you were a board game, I wouldn't play you.
If you were god and I was the devil I'd make amends with you.
I wanna be your monkey wrench.
If I could be anything I'd be your underwear.
If I were your brother incest would be cool.
Can I be your tampon?
If you were a roller coaster I'd ride you allllll day.
You must be a switch because baby you turn me on!
If you were bees I'd rub honey all over myself and wait for you to come and find me.
You must be a twister because you give me a whirl.
If you were a dog, I'd put out.... a bone.
I wish you were a diner table so I could eat on you.
Lets play house.... you be the door so I can slam you all night.
Lets play telephone - I'll pick you up, we'll talk for a while, and then I'll SLAM you down!!
Can I sleep in your bed??
Baby, I must be a scary movie because I can make you scream all night.
Oh look I found you. [What??] You know what they say, finders keepers!
Have you ever heard of that quote "do or die"? Well let's be risky -- lets do it and see if we die.
Hey, lets just lose the pickup line - and find my bed.
Can you be my sheets?
Wanna be in a commercial with me? Ever heard of Trojans?
Let's skip the foreplay and just get down to business.
Yo momma must've not wiped her ass, cause you da shit!
(Drop a packet of sugar on the floor by him/her. Pick it up and say:) You dropped your nametag.
Your name must be candy because you look so sweet.
Your name must be bunny because you look so sweet.
Your Snap and Crackle makes me Pop.
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I can make your bed rock.
Damn, baby. You're so fine. I wanna pour milk over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.
I ran out of viagra. Can I use you?
I'm Doctor Lover. Open your blouse and say "aaaaaaa."
I'm building a hotel. How about you help me lay some carpet and muffle my lobby.
Are you a nurse? [No, why?] Because my Penis just stopped breathing, could you give it CPR anyway?
Hey, I'll teach you how to box. Now get down on your knees and give me 50 blows to the head.
Baby you're so fine I'd drink your bath water.
[What are you doing?] Checking your tag.... Just as I thought, "made in heaven."
Does your dad work in a juice factory cause you are so fine!
Is your shirt felt? Can it be?
My left leg is called Christmas and my right leg is called New Year. So why don't you come spend some time with me between the holidays?
You be my Burger King, I'll be your Dairy Queen. You give it to me my way, and I'll treat you right!
Is your daddy a terrorist? [No. Why?] 'Cause you da bomb!
Do you have any Spanish (or your nationality) in you? [No.] Would you like some?
I love every bone in your body, especially mine.
(Give a girl a package of hotdogs and say:) Practice makes perfect.
(Ask the girl if she likes Italian food, then say:) Then lets go back to my place and you can have some of my man size noodle.
Hey lets go back to my place and have breakfast. You can eat my sausage.
If I could be anything in the world I'd be a tear. I'd be born in your eye, live on your face, and die in your mouth.
It's cold out here, but when I look at you, I get hot.
You melt my butter.
I'm an army recruiter, come over to my place and be all you can be.
I don't know how I fall asleep at night knowing that there is someone like you out there.
I'll call you Toyota because I love what you do for me.
Hi, I've got a 10-inch tongue and I breathe through my ears.
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first!
F*ck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
Hi, my name's Pogo. Wanna jump on my stick?
Your name must be Skippy, because I can feel you sticking to the roof of my mouth.
Excuse me; are those SPACE PANTS you're wearing? 'Cause your butt is out of this world!
Are you hurt? [No, why?] Well, if I had fallen from heaven I would be.
What do ya say we go back to my place and play gynecologist? [No.] Okay, I'll be the doctor.
Roses are red; watches are gold, get down on your knees and do what you're told!
Do you believe in fairy tales? Yes/No, works both ways Then let's go back to my place and you can Puff the Magic Dragon.
Why don't we play army? I'll lay down, and you blow the hell outta me.
Do you know what was the first sound I heard when I saw you? "Woo Woo Woo." That is an ambulance coming to take me away because you stole my heart!
Do you like blueberries or strawberries better? Because I need to know what kind of pancakes to order in the morning!
What winks and f*cks like a tiger? *Wink*
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
Can I borrow a quarter [What for?] I want to call my mom and tell her that I just met the girl of my dreams OR I want to call your mom and thank her.
Is your dad a thief?? [No.] Then how did he steal the sparkle of the stars and put it in your eyes? (Be ready with a snappy response in case they say, "Yes.")
You're so hot; you melt the elastic in my underwear.
Would you be my love buffet?? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
That outfit would look great crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.
My name's (state your name). That's so you know what to scream.
My name's (state your name), but you can call me "Lover."
Nice shoes. Wanna f*ck??
What do you say we go out for a pizza and then a f*ck?? [No.] You don't like pizza??
Can I flirt with you??
Your dad must've been a Baker, 'cause you got a nice set of buns.
All those curves, and me with no brakes.
F*ck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
(Grab his/her ass.) Pardon me, is this seat taken??
Is it hot in here or is it just you?
Can you give me directions? [To where?] Your heart.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
Do you know what would look good on you? Me.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
I hope you know CPR 'cause you take my breath away.
My face is leaving in 15 minutes. Be on it.
So do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?
Beauty is only a light switch away.
I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.
Are you tired? Cause you've been running through my mind all day.
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.
Why don't you sit on my face, and I can eat my way to your heart.
That shirt is very becoming on you. Of course if I were on you I'd be cumming too.
I hope you've got a defibrillator in you purse, because you just made my heart stop.
I bet you're carrying a rabbit's foot, because you just got lucky.
I'm jealous of that glass, cause it gets to touch your lips.
I think my ying just found its yang.
You're so hot; you just melted the ice in my drink.
They oughta call you perpetual motion, cause you've got a body that just won't quit.
Should I break it to your friend that she's going home alone?
You'd better start giving me mouth to mouth, because you just took my breath away.
Don't hate me, cause you're beautiful.
You look like you've been waiting all your life for a guy like me.
It's a good thing I've got a Porsche, cause you've got some dangerous curves.
They should call you WD-40, cause you've got some smooth moves.
I don't know how you got through security, cause you're the bomb!
I don't even need a crystal ball to see myself in your future.
Let me guess.... Is your middle name - Temptation?
My feet are gettin' cold, cause you're knocking my socks off.
I want to get your plastic surgeon's phone number, cause I'd like to shake his hand.
Haven't I seen you somewhere before - like - in my wildest dreams?
Did you know that the scientific term for a woman like you is "beautimus maximus?"
Hey baby, why don't you sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that POPS up!!!
If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
I wanna use your thighs as earmuffs.
Are those real?
I may not be Fred Flintstone but I sure can make your bed rock.
The word of the day is LEGS, so let's go to my house and spread the word.
Why don't you come over and we can do math in the bed; add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and I'll multiply.
Excuse me but is your last name "Gillette"...cause you are the best a man can get!
Hey baby.... can you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose?
They call me Milk, because I do your body good.
I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?
They say the best things in life are free.... they lied.
You're on my mind this Valentine's Day.... I'd prefer you on my bed.
This Valentine's Day I want you to know that I'm head-over-heels for you ... and I know some other positions too.
You have 250 bones in your body, want another?
If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.
Girl, if you were a porch I'd take out all the nails and screw ya.
Yo baby, I bust more nuts than a squirrel.