Your lips feel soft against mine and for the first time, I know what it is like to be loved. It's feeling your heart beating in unison with mine.. seeing the individual flecks of gold in your eyes.. Maybe I won't be that lonely old woman after all.. Goddamnit, you ruined me.. I wanted to be alone.. part of me did.. part of me wanted to make everyone else suffer like they made me suffer, but you had to go and ruin me..

The snow's beginning to fall now.. Christmas is going to be soon. People are singing happily and spending thousands of dollars on gifts that will eventually find their way into backs of closets and stay there for the rest of their lives. Then there are those who have enough money to make their children love them, and Christmas is just a time of year in which they have to wait for gifts instead of receiving them right away.


I don't like Christmas, but that's probably just because I get all the stuff about Jesus rammed down my fucking throat by everyone and every goddamned song that's out there.. Little kids sing them because they're too naiive to know that their parents are atheiests and to them, singing about God is a sin. And how many times can one hear "Jingle Bells" and not want to shoot someone? It must be nearing hundreds.. I'm not dreaming of a White Christmas, or a Blue Christmas.. I'd settle for a Quiet Christmas, if there is such a thing.


Shopping has become the main point of Christmas, hasn't it? You agree with me, I can tell. I can tell just by the way you're looking at me.. Why else would there be so many Christmas sales? 50% off.. Buy one, get one free.. those two motto's have replaced "Peace on Earth" and "Joy to the World" and maybe it's my generation who's done it.. we did everything else, after all..