I'm falling

Nobody can help me

Not now

I think

I've fallen to far

You can't even reach me

Not in this dark place

Where I'm all alone

No one can really reach me when I'm there

You are able to reach me physically

You can stop me with your presence

But I can't be guarded

Twenty-four hours a day

When your not there

I remember your words

But when I'm in the darkest place

When I need it so badly

I can feel it

Before I even do anything

I can feel it

Feel the pain

The ripping apart of the skin

My skin

Without even doing anything at all

I can feel everything

When I'm there

Your words can't reach me

The only thing that can stop me at that point

Is your actual physical presence

And that only stops me for one reason

I don't want to be caught

I don't care if you already know or not

No way could I let you see me

Not like that

I don't want you to be a witness to it

Its like I'm addicted to it

I try to stop

But then the need comes

It overtakes me

Although sometimes I can be strong

And resist

But only when the need is weaker

When the day is good

But other days

I can't stop it

I can't resist it

Even if I want to

It seems like I can't

I feel like I'm losing

Losing my battle

How long can I fight it?

How long can I live in the dark?

Will I be able to survive it?

I don't know how much more I can take

How many more of these bad days can I endure?

Those bad days

When the tears well up

And sharp objects

Become my enemy

They are getting harder to handle

But then there are the good days

Days when I smile

And laugh

I feel genuinely happy

For awhile

But those days always end

They have to

Today was a bad day

But there is always tomorrow

And who knows what kind of day it will be?