'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the madhouse
Goth Girl had killed all that lived, even decapitated the mouse;
And commenced to sharpen her butcher knife with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
Dead Kitty was nestled in shadows undefined,
While feelings of foreboding ravaged its mind;
And Goth Girl clutching her teddy bear Voodoo,
Had just settled down to last the night through.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
She ran to the window through bloody spatter.
When into the pane she collided with a crash,
She tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The splotches of blood in the new-fallen snow
Should have given the warning to the person below,
But what to her sardonic eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer,
And she noted the driver so fat and thick,
And began her plan to do in St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen! On, Comet…"
At this moment, her expression a horrible leer,
Goth Girl decided it was time to interfere.
She shouted: "This is getting monotonous, you fat old guy!
If you value your life, get out of my sky!"
St. Nick seemed to ignore her snarling threats,
Registering him as stupid as a person gets.
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in an instant, she heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As she grabbed Dead Kitty's tail and leapt down the stair,
She heard St. Nicholas moving around down there.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
And Goth Girl's eyes narrowed, taking to the shadows to lurk,
Her knife-clutching hands itching to do the dirty work.
A wink of the man's eye, a twist of his head,
Caused her to recoil and feel a sensation of dread.
He spoke not a word but went right to his work,
As Goth Girl slowly crept from the murk.
He turned in surprise, and made a motion to pat her head,
But she withdrew the knife and he flinched instead.
And Goth Girl leered, not wasting a minute;
She located his skull and put the knife in it.
And when the Ones in White arrived they met a scene most gruesome,
Of the dead St. Nick and mangled reindeer with weapons through some.
And Goth Girl, grabbing Dead Kitty and slipping from sight,
Exclaimed: "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a 'good night'…"