Self Defense

I used to only cry when I was sad
I would shed tears of sorrow,
Of despair.
No one held me,
No one cared.

The tears would stream unhindered,
Out of my red, swollen eyes,
And course down the flushed landscape of my face
To the cold, hard ground,
Forming miniature oceans
While I drowned in sorrow.

The heavens might weep with me,
In the same torrential floods
Or the day might mock me,
Unleashing its brightest sunlight,
Blinding all to my misery,
Blinding all but me.

My pain, so raw, so overwhelming,
Threatened to suffocate me
But I shoved it aside,
Reached for the flames flickering in the dark
And fed the fire
Of all-consuming anger.

I hated him.

I used to only cry when I was sad
Now I only shed tears of rage.