~Julia~

I know its hard sometimes for you to understand me

When my hand

Spread wide open

Is so large against your own.

And I know sometimes it's hard for you to hear me

While you skip off to play in your fairy land of crystals

And pearly sea spray foam.

But I'm asking you now with all my heart

I'll try to hide my tears before they start…

Just please sit awhile and listen to me.

For you have infinity to play and run

In warm kissed fields

And golden sun…

While I just have this moment.

A moment to tell you how much I still and always love you-

Your beautiful blond hair and shining smile.

A moment to tell you a lifetime of love-

Oh God why does this have to seem so final?

You always did jump up and run,

As if the world was waiting for you to shine

To reach up to the stars

Conquer the world

And turn cartwheels

At all the same time.

But sit and listen for awhile now

Try to ignore my sighs-

For through it all

I never really was good at good-byes.

You may open your eyes wide in laughter

And giggle as you skip away without a backward glance

But what I say is true

Though tragic

Because you gave me a second chance.

A chance to realize what life truly is

Beyond traffic jams and taxes due

A world seen for what it really is-

A world seen by you.

For in all your innocence you understood

Things that we have forgot

How magical summer truly is-

Whether we are six years old or not.

For you I'll press my nose against the glass more

And lean too far over the rail.

I'll remember to dream in color

And put more faith in fairy tales.

I'll ask more questions of everyone

And pick more flowers just because-

I'll remember to stand in front of the crowd instead of behind

And I'll always remember to skip a little instead of trudge.

So many, many little things

We lose when we begin to see right from wrong

Even though inside we know

Things truly aren't that clean cut all along.

I'll try not to judge on appearance

You always held your hand out to all-

And instead I'll smile and change their lives

Though it may seem very small.

And for those that will never understand

Their disapproving looks I'll learn to ignore

And I'll still run too fast and speak too loud

Because that's what you taught me living is for.

I want to take your hand right now

Its little surface rough with dirt

And kiss it with all your memories

As you are lain out in your lavender fairy tale skirt.

You can't understand why I can't now

Maybe it's better this way

Just remember me and my promise to keep you alive

Until my dying day.

Then we can be together again

And you can tell me all the fun you've had-

No, don't look at my face that way-

I can brush away a shimmering tear

But I'll really not that sad.

Her blue eyes smile in understanding

Prancing away, she lets meadow flowers beat at her skirt

I try to get up and walk away

But oh, how a crumbling heart hurts.

I watch as she grows dimmer

Picking her flowers

She holds them up to her summer sun

And as I stroke her flowers by a silent grave

I promise to give a little Julia to the world…

My life is not yet done.