I'd like to make several notes on this fic. Such as. . . Ah screw it. Whatever. All characters in here are mine, and just to clear any questions first off, I am a girl (what guy have the nickname Lainie?) The only reason y i'm writing from a guys perspective in this story, is cause it's funny (oops, spoiler for the 1st paragraph). And i'm pretty sure guys won't be reading this anyway, so chances there's nobody to counteract my view on what guys really think. Just consider that a warning. Any questions just ask. Try flaming me and i'd just laugh. Enuff of that, on w/ the insanity!

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Operation Cross-Dress

by lainie-chan

No. Hell no. I'd told myself if I ever had to stoop this low ever again I'd shoot myself. But no. My gun was taken away from me before that thought even came to my mind, obviously one of us was watching out for my welfare. But not good enough.

Perhaps I should explain. But now that I think about it, screw you all!!! All of y'all!! You're not the one that has to wear this freakin' skirt, and you don't have to shave your legs!! Yeah I know what u'r thinking, "yeah, well most girls do this," well you know what? I'm a guy. Now excuse me while I strangle myself. . .

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It all started one fateful blustery morning, in which I, a 16 year old MALE was rushing off to get to school. So I was running around the kitchen, grabbing random things while trying to put my school tie on and jam a piece of toast in my mouth. Fortunately for me, I was a master in multi-tasking, from years of practice and perseverence. It's not like I had a choice any way. . . I woke up late (as usual) and I had like, 3.24 min to get my butt outa here.

So here i was, running around like a maniac, when in attempting to run out the door, I literally run into my neighbor, the resident cat-girl. Who also happens to be the most annoying person on this whole damned planet.

"HI LUCKY!!!" She squeals. Then, noticing that i was wearing my school uniform that gloating smirk spread across her face. "Oh? What's the big hurry? Oh that's right you have SCHOOL." She laughed, loudly and obnoxiously.

"Shut up and get outa the way, or i ain't gonna hold back on my 'no hitting hoes rule' no more," I snarled. Ahh, relish in the everyday language of today's top notch students of the 3rd best prep school in the city. . .

She squawked as i roughly pushed past her. "Lucky!!" She whined/screamed. Hmph, as if my life wasn't enough of an oxy-moron, I happened to bear a very controversial name. I swear I'm called Lucky just b/c everyone knows I'm not. It's pathetic.

Well, you may be asking, what the hell does this little assessment have to do w/ my current status as a unwilling cross-dresser? You know what? Absolutely nothing. And on that note, we shall transgress.

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Later on, after returning from my monotonous day of school, I got outa my those stupid uniforms and changed to my regular clothes, which usually consists of baggy pants and a shirt or sweatshirt, or something else I could bum around in.

Then I went to hang out w/ my friend Darwin. Oddly enough he likes being called by his mother's maiden name, and yeah, he's freakin billionaire. Even odder is that he wanted to kill me, before we became friends. But then obviously he didn't, and what the hell, we're best buds now. I tell ya man, he got issues.

So our talk usually ranges from what a big asshole his old man is, to girls, to my continuos conflicts with my misfit neighbors (and how i really fit in w/ all of them. . . ), to bitchin about school, to girls, to pondering about our existence in the universe, and other random, stupid things.

And then after raiding his gigantic fridge we sneak outa his mansion before his old man comes home (if he does) and then we run around the streets and get in trouble. "Trouble" I usually like to leave undefined. . .

And what does this whole load of shnizzle have to do with my problem? Hey, i'm getting to that. Just hold up.

So Darwin and I were debating to whether or not to crash the party scene at some club we can easily sneak into, or just to wander around the streets and do whatever our impulsive, impatient brains tells us to do. Or go to the mall. I really need some new sneakers. . . and heck, I need some jeans too, I seem to crap them up pretty quickly. . .

Any way, here's the turning point that's prob not gonna mean much to ne of yous: My cell phone goes off. And so I answer it.

"What." damn I'm just the epitome of politeness here.

"Hey Lucky, u wanna come home?" It was my sister. Asking me to come home very sweetly. Things should've clicked right there.

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Good? Bad? Offensive? (Hey i did warn you. . .) Well nothing really happens yet, a lil short; sorry my fault, but I like the suspense. Anyways, I got some pictures of my characters up (haha and even a manga (current hiatus (heh heh)), so just check it out at:

http://www.geocities.com/the_underwurld

Thanx for reading!! And Review!! Please?