I see you with your friends

I wish I could be one of them

I'd like to get to know you

I'd like to talk to you

To laugh with you

To be like you

But as much as I admire you

And cant stop myself from hating you

It's not a choice its a raw feeling

Do you think youre better then me?

That must be it

You and your damn friends

I dont need them

I dont need you

I'm so lonely

Why dont you ever come to talk to me

Why dont you invite me to come sit with you

Why dont you ever let me in

I want to be your friend

You miserable fuck

I cant stand to look at you

When I hear you laugh

When I see you smile

When I see you make others happy

I want to destroy whats in you

I want to make you empty like me

I cant stand it youre happy

I want to be happy

But I cant be happy

Whats so special about you

Why do you get to be carefree

You must always know what you're doing

You must always be sure

Why is it the doubt always plagues me

I dont know how to act

You seem to know everything

I wish you could teach me

To live without fear

To choose without question

But I hate everything

I especially hate you

Please be my friend

I sit here all alone

Always the child

Always the one led by the hand

Always the one told what to do

Always the one lost

Always the one confused

Why cant I grow up

Why cant I ever be adult

I'll always be the child

I feel it in my heart

But you

You're already ahead

You've already won

You're better then me

I'll admit it

You son of a bitch

What makes you a man

What makes me a boy

The thing that eats me from the inside

Wont let me go

Wont let me live

Wont let me be happy

Won't let me walk across that room

Smile

And say hello

And ask you politely to be my friend

To look you in the eyes

And ask you for help

To ask you to please help

I'm losing the fight

I'm drowning in myself

Please help me

I dont know what to do

I'm so scared

I don't think I can stop myself

I don't think I can take it anymore

Please be my friend and help me

Please.