A/N: Uhm, this doesn't have a title. I wrote it.. last year, while in 8th. Had to for LA, but it was for a contest thing. If the format is screwy, it's because I have this double spaced.. and I can't do HTML for crap so I rely on uploading word. Pro-Life? I went to a Catholic school ^^;;. Do now too!





I didn’t understand at first mommy. I couldn’t grasp how you could possibly do this to me. After taking care of me

for so long.. I was warm mother, I trusted you. You ate enough, you were happy. And I was happy. I remember

believing, even in such a small, small stage of life, how wonderful it all was. How nothing could possibly go wrong,

mother loves me. It hurts to finally accept how wrong I was. The day you found out you were so upset. But I

believed we could get through it, together, because I was your flesh and blood. I was going to have your hair,

remember? Red and wild, very frizzy. I was going to have your favorite aunt’s eyes, now deceased. I dreamed of

going to school, of laughing. Of telling you the guy I liked, of telling you how much I loved you. I can’t believe how

naïve I was mommy. I trusted you. And there’s so much pain mommy.. it hurts so much. What hurts the most is that

I loved you, I loved you and you betrayed me. Even more painful is that I still love you. They told you this was best

mommy, that, in order to have a wonderful life, this was the correct choice. You lapped up their words, like a puppy

to a bowl of water after a long, sweltering day without. After all mommy, you are sixteen, you have your life ahead

of you. It wasn’t your fault you were raped.. Was I being selfish? If I was, I’m sorry mommy.. I wouldn’t believe it.

I couldn’t believe you’d do this to me mommy, after providing for these months, after being so careful. I had to

succumb to the truth though, when before entering that office you whispered how sorry you were, fervently. That it

was the best for both of us.. Oh but mommy, I want to live.. I forgive you. I’ll try to believe you mommy, that it was

best. Best that I won’t get to kiss you on the cheek, smear vanilla ice cream on your nose whilst giggling cheerily. I

won’t get to love you for years to come, because I won’t be around. I’m crying for you mommy, can you hear? I’m

screaming, it hurts so much. Screeching for a mother who doesn’t want me, who is deaf to my calls. You won’t

remember me. Out of sight out of mind, right? I’ll have been a mild discomfort, instead of a beloved child, a life.

Like so many others, who never had their chance, to scrape their knee and have a mother kiss the wound, make it all

better. To be loved. They’re tearing me apart, lacerating, excruciating pangs.. I’m holding onto life, not for much

longer, feeble hand weakly grasping at a beyond unwieldy hold. I want to live. I still don’t understand, I tried to be

strong, for you mommy. I tried so hard, but I failed. The twinges, it hurts so much. A hope now impossible, but

forever a dreamâ€"I want to be remembered mommy. I want to be loved.





More A/N: (BTW, I got second place. ^^;;.)