A TALE OF BLARNEY
By:Andrew Troy Keller

There once was this bizzare fellow,who went by the name of Barney McBlarney.
Now,legend has it,that Barney was one of the people involved in the creation of that mystical charm of good Irish luck--The Blarney Stone.
You see,it had happened within the twilight of Ireland's golden age.
Barney was on his way home from a pub,where he had one doozy of a drinking binge.
He had not made it home that night,because he had fallen on his face.
After that,he had tried to get back up.
But,he could not.
So,he had decided to sleep it off on the side of the road instead.
Now,while Barney was fast asleep,one of the little people had came out,and was about to walk into town to have a wee bit of fun.
When suddenly,he had discovered the sleeping form of Barney McBlarney.
"Hello,kind sir.",said the little fellow."Are ye awake?"
There was no answer.
"Sir?",asked the little fellow.
Still no answer.
Then,thinking that the sleeping form was safe enough to pass,he had started walking again.
But suddenly,Barney had woken up,and grabbed the little fellow.
"A LEPRECHAN!",yelled Barney."I HAVE CAUGHT ME A LEPRECHAN,YOU HEAR ME?A LEPRECHAN!!"
Aw,but not for long,because the little fellow had picked up a rock,and used it to conk Barney back to sleep.
And with Barney asleep again,the little fellow had ran straight to town--to have a drink,or two of ale,instead of giving everyone else a bad time.
The next morning,however,Barney had woken up,and felt a large lump on his head on top of his hangover.
After he had finally gotten back up,Barney had looked down,and saw a glowing rock on the ground.
Suddenly,another man was walking down the road.
Once he was behind Barney,he had taken out his dagger,and was running towards Barney,about to plunge the blade into poor Barney's heart.
Surprisingly,Barney had moved out of the way of the killer,who had gone past Barney,and splashed down into a nearby river.
After noticing that he was almost killed,Barney had realized that it was the rock that saved him.
To this day,that same rock is still a tourist attraction known as The Blarney Stone.
And so,I say to ye,without the jokes,Tee-tee-tee-tee-that's all,Folks!