I Know It All, Now


I know now
What I did not then
What, you ask
I'll tell it all
Though I doubt
You'll hear me

I said end my pain
And my misery,
But, instead, you
Drove me insane
So that everyone
I know will fear me

I was put in therapy
But even they could
Not control the
Anger an insanity
That I had
Held inside

Eventually they decided
That I could not be
Left unguided
So I was placed
In a cell with glaring
Red Lights -- A living Hell

They had stripped me
Of all my blongings
Along with my one
Beloved object of death,
A cold deadly steel
Blade, no longer near

To slide across
My wrists to
Rid me of all
My pain and
Miserable suffering
Which has made me miserable

But I wore braces
That fatal night
Where I made
Faces in the
Glaring
Red Light

I though perhaps
If I tried, that
It would work
I though as
The Light
Turned soft and white

I raised my wrist
To my mouth
And raked it
Across the sharp
Brackets as I tasted
The copper-metallic flavor of blood

With a soft
Rip the job was done
But the Lights turned
Back to Red
As I threw my hand
Back behind me

As it hit
The padded wall
Blood splattered
In all directions
Turning the Lights
A burning Blood Red

A scream escaped
My lips as I saw
What I had done
I knew there was
No help for me,
Now nothing could be done

As I felt the life drain
From my body, and as the
Light gew dim, I collapsed
From the horrible feeling
Of Death, Creeping
From its Shadows, for me

I know it all, now
As I said before
But now I understand
That I didn't know, and
Never will - And I'll
Surely never experience it

I'll never be loved
Or wanted, or experience
It - Life, A dream
Come true, for life as
I know it now - Is hell-
I wanted out

I got what I wanted
So I must go-
But be
Careful of things
You don't know
When you Learn,

It may be too Late.