first *completed* sonnet. (It's probably been my fourth try, but I finally got it right.) I hope it scans; if it doesn't, please review and tell me what was wrong - I really need help with sonnets! Thanks, and enjoy...^_^ ~EG


Should you decide to look my way again,
I do not think my heart will stay as one,
But crash as though the end of life was fain
To warn us when the final day is done.

Perhaps you felt as though I was too young,
My body prime for devilish probes and breaks.
But now that childish disposition's stung,
By your misguided buzzard tongue's mistakes.

You came and went like fiery wisps of air,
And left behind you endless pairs of eyes.
They danced among the evening guests with flair,
Reflecting shattered souls and your lost prize.

For great rewards do come with great intent,
And your wish was to procreate dissent.

Whee. Please review!