He turns his head, surprise shines in his eyes.


"I think we need to talk."

"Yeah, that would be good. What's going on with you man?" His voice shakes my skin. There's no denying I'm still attracted to him.

"Okay, this is really hard for me to say so I'm just going to come out and say and I swear if you laugh I'll kick your ass." Even as I say it I'm smiling. I can't help myself. I don't know why.

"Okay… You sound a little bit more like you…" He's smirking at me, like he knows this is somehow going to humiliate me.

"That's the thing. I wasn't myself. I was going through stuff and whatever. I'm not going to say I'm okay now, because I'm not but that's not what I'm trying to say. I don't know why I'm babbling. I don't usually babble. This is kind of weird. Anyways, what I wanted to say is that, well, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm really sorry."

He bows his head, his hands in his pockets and rocks on the balls of his feet. My body is tense. Isn't he going to say anything? The waiting is getting to me.

"Hey, it's not like I really did anything to you," I snap. Stupid. I'm supposed to be apologizing.

I run a hand through my hair and stare at him. His body is shaking and I can see his eyes looking at me through his hair. I realize he's laughing. Suddenly he can't contain it anymore. He bursts out in laughter, not so much at me but at the situation. It still irks me. I stuff my hands in my pockets and glare at him. He has no right to be laughing. I'm trying to apologize here. Geez.

"Man, that was so great." He's wiping tears from his eyes.

My eyebrows start twitching.

"Apology accepted."

"Oh good. I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if you didn't accept my apology." I can practically feel the sarcasm oozing out of my mouth.

"I know. That's why I just had to accept."

He throws his arms over my shoulder and starts directing me towards the T.V. room. While we walk his free hand roams his body. It's kind of funny, like he's feeling himself up. I smirk, but then I see the cigarette he takes out of the back pocket. I take it from him and throw it over our heads. Jimmy will probably find it and want it.

I laugh at his look. His mouth his open slightly and is eyes are little slits on his face.

"Friends don't let friends do stupid things," I mock.

He starts laughing and it's great. It's better than it used to be. We're friends. Actual friends. Not people who hang out because one doesn't know anybody and everyone hates the other one because he's a hostile pretty boy. We're true friends. We're hanging out with each other because we want to. I want to be here, walking with him, and I have a feeling he wants to be here too.

"You've really got to quit. I hate smokers." I shudder for affect.

"And we wouldn't want you hating me now would we?"

"Sorry, been there, done that, wasn't that great to tell you the truth."

We fall onto the couch. It's mutual territory. This is where we first met.

He smirks. "You hated me?"

"Yeah, well you're the reason I'm back in this place. For awhile I couldn't handle that. Being out there wasn't good for me. It did something to me."




"Let's not talk about it."

"I can do that."

"So, Mr. Perini, how have you been?"

"So-so. You?"

"Oh, I've been real swell."

"Yeah, I could tell."

We sit in silence, just enjoying each other's company. There's nothing to say. Nothing needed to be said.

I'm sitting here watching everything go by in slow motion. Now Savannah's here. I don't know where she came from but she's sitting on the other side of me. We're watching a silent film. It's hazy but sort of relieving. There's no where I'd rather be.

I'm not the same as I was. I'm a new me. Things aren't wonderful or even close, but I'm on my way to being okay. I know I'm crazy. I know it. It's not scary; it's just a fact. But I know I'm going to be okay because there's nothing else for me to be. I want to get better so I will.

Jimmy's walking towards us. His feet look like lead. It takes him several slow seconds before he's standing in front of us. His eyes bore into mine. I can feel how intense he is. He scares me. For awhile there he didn't. He was an addiction. An extremely short addiction, but an addiction nonetheless. I think to him I'm more than an addiction. To him I'm an obsession. He's obsessed with me. That's his real problem. He's not here because he's addicted to coke or whatever. He's here because he's obsessive, intense, out of control.

Instead of feeling scared, resolve rolls over me. All I feel now is sad. I'm sad for him. I want to help him, but what I really want is for him to go away. I'll help him later. Right now I just want to sit and watch my surroundings. I want to feel the heat seeping from the two bodies on either side of me, warming me.

Jimmy must sense this because after a slow minute he just walks away. I'm proud of him. For the first time he's walking away from an obsession. Maybe he's on the road to getting better.

A genuine smile fills my face. I move my arms around Savannah's shoulders and lean against Leo.

"A lamppost?" Savannah whispers. She's always whispering. Her voice is smooth. I love her soothing tones.

"Yeah," I chuckle.

"A lamppost?" Leo whispers.

"Yeah," I repeat.

"Okay…" Savannah says.

"We'll just not talk about that either," Leo says.

"Whatever," I say.


Woo! It's done. I know this isn't a great ending, but it suits it. I hope you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading. Maybe I'll end up rewriting the ending later, but for now I want to move onto something else. I've spent too much time on this story that I don't even like. Thanks again.