I can't take it
I can't cut it out anymore
The overwhelming pain
Like a malignent, fatal tumor
It's like being coated in fresh wounds
and every step you take
Tears into your flesh a bit more
It isn't literal anymore
Nothing can help me
I can't tell, I can't keep secrets
I can't move
I can't be anything but numb
Damn it I wish i was fucking numb
I can't distance myself from it anymore
I can't distance myself with anger
Or with cuts
I can't distance myself with lies
I can't get away from the pain
I don't want to deal with this
Understanding is not happening
With this impossible situation
I thought I could understand
I thought I could will myself to recovery
Nothing can help me
I used to belive I deserverd this
Maybe I do
But I don't want to deserve it
Don't want to take my medicine
Don't want to feel this way anymore
And I have to
There is no escape
Liquor, drugs, sex
None of these would help
I have no refuge, no outlet
No way to make the pain stop
I can't speak
My limbs are stone
I'm too scared to sleep
I have nothing but the pain
A hot entity of barbed wire
Rotted flesh and tar
Electricity and sharp knives
Wrapping coyly around me like a friend
With every time I try to push it away
I am wracked anew
Teen anghst
Put me down, I know how it goes
I can't get it to go my way
All of it is known all of it is a fucking cliche
There aren't words that can express
Too corney, or not expressive enough
fuck works nicely
I realize that if I tried to cut out the pain
I'd have no flesh left
I just want it to stop,
I want the brutal pain to go away