How The Seven Continents Were Formed

Author’s Note: See what happens when you put two twelve-year old girls in a boring science class?

You do know what Pangea is, right? If not, let’s review: Pangea was a huge landmass that consisted of all seven continents. This super continent existed eons ago but now all of the continents are separated. (Duh!) Anyway, scientist may say that Pangea was separated when molten rock underneath the earth’s crust shifted the continents apart, but my friend and I had our own messed up…uh, theory:

You see, we believe that Pangea split apart because huge alien cockroaches were eating away at the dirt, slowly breaking the huge landmass apart. The cockroaches continued eating the dirt for millions of years, and with each bite, Pangea became more and more fragile.

While the alien cockroaches ate away at the dirt, a big fat purple elephant snuck aboard an airplane and flew over Pangea. Now here’s the thing: historians today believe that aircraft flying was not perfected until the beginning of the twentieth century by the Wright brothers, but my friend and I have found that theory controversial. We believe as educated scientists that an elephant flew the first airplane millions of years ago.

Anyway, let’s continue with our demented theory. Once the purple elephant was right above Pangea, he lost control of the plane and it crashed into the landmass. This horrific crash caused Pangea to split apart into the seven continents that we all know and love today: North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Antarctica, Africa, and Australia. The crash also caused the extinction of the dinosaurs. In fact, you can still see evidence of this crash. In the Dinosaur National Monument between Colorado and Utah, there is a huge hole in the earth. Scientists may tell you that an asteroid that crashed caused that hole, but I think that’s the hole that was formed when the elephant crashed the plane.

Fortunately, the purple elephant survived the crash. However, because of the new environmental conditions, the purple elephant had to adapt to survive. And that’s why elephants aren’t purple anymore.

As for the giant alien cockroaches, well…they survived too. Only thing is that now they aren’t 70 feet tall. Just like the purple elephant, the cockroaches had to adapt to their new environment. As a result, today’s cockroaches are no longer 70 feet tall.

And Pangea itself? Well, I think that “Pangeaâ€