Billy fished his brown bride out of his shining porcelain god. He cradled it warmly in his arms.

"I'm going to love, and cradle you, and kiss you." And he pressed his lips up it, and held it in a warm, sticky embrace. Billy had found true love, true love that would never leave him. He placed his beloved in a jar, and kept her close beside him in his bed. They snuggled, and he fell in to the arms of sleep, smelling of warm love.

"So, where are we? I mean, in this relationship?" He looked pained as he cried out, her jar sitting across from him at the breakfast table. "Do you still love me?" She sat silent, her anger wafting over towards him. "WHY? WHY! I LOVE YOU, DAMNIT!" She wouldn't listen..... partly because she was nuts. And corn.

But like all love, it just went down the toilet.