the black eyeliner

the pale makeup

the depression filled lyrics

are piled into my head

I am filled with pain

my heart is broken

it hasn't healed yet

these Saturdays

are so empty now

I sit alone

no strength

no will

not wanting to

incorporate friends

into my tormented life

they don't want to feel my pain,

nor do they care.

this façade,

I smile

I laugh

all my actions are done

through the constant pain

through the thousands of tears

through my broken heart

I miss us,

miss loving you

your smile stabs me

your laugh …

it digs this knife farther

into my pulsing vein

not pulsating for long.


I'm bleeding for you

I'm going to die

no, I have died.

you laugh

and as I think about it

this black eyeliner

simply goes on heavier

black is elegant,

and beautiful

but I wear it because

it is the color of my mood

my pain

my broken heart

this pale makeup

goes on just as heavy as the eyeliner

making me look pale

pale as death

my lips are rosy red

red like the blood

that you have

caused me to spill

red like the rose

you gave to me

the rose I still keep

it whispers memories to me

memories of happier times

memories of laughter

of smiles

of true happiness

you were my life

my love

my whole world

but now …

you are my source of hate

and pain

I loved you

I still love you

I look at myself in the mirror

my makeup

creates the illusion of death

for I have died

I died the day those words were uttered

"we should just be friends"