I know that some people like reading poems and hate seeing long notes about them, so that they, the readers, can decide what the poem means and what it was based on. Some people, like myself, love to know the background of poetry, what inspired it, what it's based on, etc. To satisfy both groups, I'm uploading this poem by itself, without notes, in one chapter and uploading the notes as a separate chapter.

51
by Rb

those people, to me, are like gods.
those two, who sit together,
if it is proper to say, surpass the gods
who walk together, who breathe together
who are together.

their sweet laughter -- the way that they
look at each other, hold each other,
kiss each other
I have no voice nor words to speak

fire and ice run down my veins
my ears ring with their gentle sounds
my eyes cloud with the darkness
of jealousy

fear, child, is your problem
fear is what keeps you from passion
fear is what destroys large armies
and keeps people from life

But I am held in place by fear
I can only live through watching
and by denying all my desires
I am unable to fall in love