I Never Knew

I never knew the world was so big
until I looked around
and you weren't there.
Nowhere to be found—
I looked all up and down—
I peered in every car,
up every street;
through every open window
I would peek,
and still I would find
nothing.
Everyone looked like you
and I swear I saw that bike you
always rode...
that truck that you went home
in after
those long days at school,
when boyishly you were blund'ring
while I was left to wond'ring
where you were and how you felt,
and how my heart would melt
each time I saw you.
My stomach would feel yellow
and my knees would turn to jello,
but I never knew a fellow
who made me happily nervous
quite like you.

Now that you are gone
and no longer do I fear
your brown eyes' light,
what I fear is the coming night
and what pain it will bring me.
For nobody can seem to sing me
quite to sleep anymore...
I'm much too busy remembering,
sitting on the floor,
staring at the stars,
recovering all the memoirs
that I've kept of my days
with you.
Photographs and pencil marks,
folder art and two shy hearts,
that get older, older,
older still,
but never seem to fade.
And I find my stomach feeling yellow
and my knees turning into jello,
no I never knew a fellow
who made me cry an ocean
quite like you.

Author's Notes: I've been waiting for this one for a long time!! XD No seriously, I've been waiting for it. One of my first thoughts upon arriving in West Virginia and getting [mal]adjusted was the idea stated in the first three lines, and the title grew out of the fact that I used the phrase in two different ways (which wasn't really intentional, but I found it was pretty cool). And of course, I love dual-meaning titles as my regular readers have no doubt noticed. XD lol ^_^; So I guess this poem explains itself and I'm too lazy to write A/N at the moment, so...e-mail me or ask in a review if you have any questions. ^_^ Thanks for reading! ~MJ
Date of Composition: June 29, 2002; very early morning