Just when I thought the sophomore class would be sane and normal...

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"Miss Lester Amanda took my pen."

"Well, Laura has my CD."

"You have my book!"

You would think 15-year-olds would act somewhat more mature. I mean, maybe boys would be like that, but aren't girls supposed to be better behaved and more mature?

"Guess what? I don't care. Go sit down."

"But Miss Lester...!"

"I'm not getting involved in your fight. Also, I don't care. Go sit down."

Laura and Amanda were always arguing about something. Even if I solved this fight they'd just have something else to fight about tomorrow.

After we'd gotten about halfway through class, suddenly something hit the front wall near my feet. I looked down and found a pen cap. I wasn't mad since whoever threw it had really bad aim if they were aiming for me. But I had other suspicions.

I looked up at Amanda.

"Laura threw it at me," she said, pointing. Great. I looked at Laura. "Is this your pen cap?"

"Um. Yes. But she took it."

"Laura don't throw things."

"Um. Can I have it back?" Seriously?!

"No. You should have better aim." I put the cap on my desk and we actually made it through the rest of the class without incident. After class I gave Laura her pen cap and commented on her aim.

Later that day when I came back into my classroom there was a piece of paper right in the middle of my desk. On the top of the page it said: Rules of Bio. Oh really? From Laura and Amanda, how nice. Probably they've rewritten the rules so they can argue and such.

Rule #1. DON'T THROW THINGS AT YOUR FELLOW CLASSMATES!!

Heh. Wait, that's not complete. I took a pen and added on: "or the teacher". Not that they'd been throwing things at me before. But just in case.

Rule #2. Don't ask stupid questions.

Weellll... I try to say that there's no such thing as a stupid question, but some of them are pretty stupid. There's no way those two can compare with someone like Pam, of course. They'd never think to ask me if one could use dried tapeworm heads as diet pills. I know how I can make this better: "unless they're funny." Stupid questions are OK if they're funny.

Rule #3. Don't begin political debates while teacher is talking.

Apparently this is a problem. I hadn't noticed.

Rule #4. Save your classmates from dabilitatingly stupid conversations going on at their tables.

Well, aside from the spelling error, it's not so bad.

Rule #5. Study and do homework.

Very good. Wait, do homework during class? That won't do. " -- you should be listening to ME!" Doing homework while you should be paying attention. For shame.

That was the end of the list, but I felt it needed an extra addition.

Rule #6. Don't steal your classmate's possessions.

Definitely an oversight. The next time I saw Laura and Amanda I gave their rules back to them. But it turned out they wanted me to post them. Well, sure. If they wanted me to post their rules for everyone to read and comment on, that's fine. They don't have my name on them. And at least it's better than covering an entire piece of paper in gum wrapper foil.

The very next day Laura and Amanda were fighting again. This time they had decided to beat on each other. They were only one step away from a pen war! I had to do something, fast! I managed to separate them, but clearly they needed a reminder. Up went another rule.

Rule #7. No violence allowed!

Other students were highly entertained by this list, especially the juniors. Cathy decided the last rule needed an amendment, so she wrote "or Ms. Lester will kill you". I don't know if Laura and Amanda ever appreciated the irony of that statement. It certainly didn't stop them from fighting. Apparently their fighting is an expression of how much they love each other, or something. Well, Bio 2 will separate them, briefly. Laura will be too busy studying for my tests to fight with Amanda.