The Anti-Recruitment Song Of The McDonald's Corporation

You stand there all day flipping meat
Not any of it you can eat
The sizzle as the burgers fry
The saddness of it makes you cry

I'm over here, your manager
The pompous source of your anger
And I dropped out before Grade 10
I'll never have to learn again

And...
I make more money than you
I make more money than you
Don't know half the stuff you do
And I make more money than you

And now you have to get the fries
A splash of grease goes in your eyes
The pain is crippling and you're tired
But if you go home you'll be fired

I work o'er at the shopping mall
A salesman at the Big'n'Tall
And I've been there for just three weeks
Trying not to laugh at all the freaks

Aaand...
I make more money than you
I make more money than you
Pantsize up to eighty-two
And I make more money than you

You try to man the drivethrough line
The customers can't hear you whine
You cannot hear a word they say
It sounds just like they're chewing hay

I'm the guy who's telling you
That I want three pickles, not two
Your ignorance just makes me stomp
Ow!
I think I'll go on worker's comp

Aaaaand...
I'll make more money than you
I'll make more money than you
Sit at home a week or two
And I'll make more money than you

You're mopping up my child's mess
What he ate you cannot guess
Boss says you're taking too long
Must not kill her, must be strong

I'm sitting in my giant chair
I bought it, I'm a millionaire
And if I gave up every cent
I've still got stock to pay my rent

Aaaaaaaaand...
I make much more money than you
I make much more money than you
I'll retire at thirty two
And I make more money than you

Time for your performance review
You did what we told you to do
And you had perfect attendance
And so your raise is seven cents

I am just a homeless bum
I live outside the stadium
I haven't had a job in years
I collect cans to buy my beers

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa(coughcough)aaaand...
I make more money than you
I make more money than you
It's so sad, but look it's true
I make more money than you

Everyone makes more money than you
Everyone makes more money than you
The new guy over there named Drew
He makes more money than you