Last Stop Gas and Shop
Episode 3: Attack of the Sexbots
Evolution, natures way of progressing a lifeform, adapting itself to the environment surrounding it. Generations after generations must pass and gradually the lifeform will change…take the human race in all its evolutionary glory: pool of blob, insect things, fish things, simians and then eventually into what they are today. It took thousands of years for this process to come about and humankind isn't even done yet, they have a long way to go to actually catch up with their cousins on Alterak 7. These lifeforms were once human but soon evolved back into apes and then fish things, insect things and then a pool of blob…what a future Earth has eh? Seen Planet of the Apes? Well there ya go, the future.
Anyway to get back to a point I was trying to make, evolution is usually great…but not for humans. Even a bit of germ-ridden grime on a shop window can evolve into something magnificent and that's where we join our story as a few thousand germs gather for their annual meeting…
The Prince of Germ-any, calls upon his people as he sits in his chair. "Hi folks, I called you all hear because I think its time to tell you that our scientists have achieved air travel…after today we can start transporting ourselves away from Germ-any and out into the unknown. Also we have harnessed the power of our old friend the atom…and have created a super weapon that can wipe out anyone who stands before us. Our mighty armies shall destroy our enemies with one swift flu and Germ-any shall rule the universe!"
Every germ cheered and shouted out their pride for their country, "Long live Prince Amoebae, long live Germ-any!"
Just as the voices died down, it started raining and then the screams came. The germs were dying fast and they rushed to protect the Prince but it was too fast…from the horizon came a black shape ripping up the cities around them and soon everything ended. Thousands of germ-years of germ evolution had come to an end with a squeeze of some window cleaner and a scrape of a window wiper.
"Darn these stains," Kim muttered to herself as she kept scrubbing hard, she swore she could pick up faint screaming with her robot ears but she thought she was imagining things, "Zax how long has it been since you cleaned these windows?" Her voice echoed down the seemingly endless aisles which contained anything you could ever want from the universal superstore chain of LoopSmackaltack Inc.
Zax stirred in his chair at the shop counter, he had taken a quick nap while everything seemed quiet but was woken up by Kim's voice, "I don't think I have ever cleaned them…Jim why didn't you clean them?"
Jim, the store mandroid who took care of cleaning and maintenance in the store, rolled up on his wheel and stared at Zax with a menacing red eye, which reverted to green quickly just before anyone seen it, "Because I never got around to it, I have so much to do and after that I have to clean up after you humans," his eye went red again, "your constantly shedding hair, skin…I can't get anything clean, can't get anything clean…must take care of the problem at its root."
Zax wasn't paying attention and pointed at the droid, "Cup of coffee…green slug Danish, I'm feeling peckish. Thanks Jim."
The mandroid growled and rolled off in the direction of the canteen. Zax relaxed back in his chair with a magazine sitting on his lap, it had pictures of the latest spacecraft and other paraphernalia. Hal, the shops super computer, focused one of its red eyes on Zax, I HAVE RECEIVED A COMMUNICATION FROM LOOPSMACKALTACK HEADQUARTERS, THEY SAID THEY WILL BE ARRIVING IN ABOUT AN HOUR DEPENDING ON TRAFFIC…YOU SEEM TO BE RELAXED ABOUT THE WHOLE SITUATION.
Zax shot out of his chair and started panicking, "Oh shit, I thought they'd forget about that whole robbery thing!"
IT HAS ONLY BEEN A HALF HOUR AGO SINCE IT HAPPENED…I THINK WE SHOULD FIGURE OUT A PLAN TO GET YOU OUT OF THIS MESS. I DO NOT WANT SOME OTHER IDIOT MOVING IN HERE TO TAKE OVER FROM YOU. YOU'RE MY IDIOT DAVE AND THEY ARE NOT TAKING YOU.
Zax grinned, "Wow, I could swear you had feelings for me…but I don't plan on losing this job…let alone dissolving inside a slug beast! And I think I have got the perfect solution."
Hunter was wandering around aimlessly through the corridors, gazing at all the wonderful and exotic items that there was to see. Most was food stuffs, but there were aisles containing clothes, toys and strangely enough weapons. Hunter checked out the weapons and above the shelves was a sign saying that weapons only become lethal once they are outside the shop premises. He picked up a small silver pistol and pointed it down the aisle, pressing down on the trigger the pistol opened up into twelve long and large barrels with several rockets protruding from the side, they all fired at once causing a small fireworks display down the aisle. Once it finished a voice could be heard from far away, "Hunter are you touching anything?"
Hunter squirmed, "Eh nope." He put the weapon back and proceeded to look and not touch. He wondered if he would get away with bringing some things back to Earth whenever he returned but he didn't have anything to pay with. He wanted to get back to Earth, outside the solar system wasn't living up to the hype…he had been stuck inside this bloody shop since he went on his fateful journey. He wondered how his mate was doing since he moved on to explore outside the solar system, Zax had sent him to some coordinates…he never actually asked what it was for.
He strolled on down a different aisle and walked past his seemingly favourite section, the Erotic Pleasure Section…known as Section 69. Here was the place where he had activated the sexbot which took the form of his girlfriend Kim, who was now scrubbing the window of the shop. He looked at the other inactive robots and reached for one, he looked down the aisle to see if anyone was coming near and pressed the on button.
EARTHLING IS ACTIVATING ANOTHER SEXBOT…JIM, GO FETCH AND DEACTIVATE IT, THEN MOVE HUNTER UP HERE PLEASE
Jim perked up, his metal claws shuddering with the task at hand. He rolled up the aisle as fast as his wheel could take him, the eye on his head turning a deep red, his metal claws spinning…now was the time to kill the human, dispose of the body and say it was an accident.
Hunter stared at the activated sexbot and shook his head with disbelief as it had taken the form of his girlfriend Kim again. She was in normal mode, willing to serve him in any way…he was thinking about pressing the button to make her sentient but didn't want that happening again, he made that mistake last time. He heard a rolling coming from down the hall and spun around quick to see a homicidal cleaning mandroid heading his way fast.
"Ah shit!" he screamed.
Kim was getting creaks in her tritanium joints and decided to go visit Zax for a while, to see if he was up for a quick one in the back. When she eventually got to the counter she seen Zax chatting closely to Hal and then turned around to her.
"Hi Zaxxy, what you up to?" she asked in her cutest voice, blinking those long black eyelashes across those beautiful big eyes. She had refitted a shop uniform into something she'd like, which was basically a mini-skirt which ran up high on her thigh.
Zax liked the attention but was interested in a droid, he only showed interest if Hunter was around so that he could make him jealous.
"Well my dear as you could see, I am so busy serving all these customers that are filling the place up so if you don't mind can you keep your enquiry's short and simple please. And why aren't you working anyway? Your on the payroll now you know, you can't be taking breaks unless I tell you to."
Kim smiled and leaned forward, grabbing Zax by the shirt and pulling him forward for a kiss, "I love it when you play domineering with me!"
Just as they kissed, the shop doors slid open and in walked a tall, leggy blonde with green skin. She wore her blonde hair in pigtails and wore a tight, pink mini skirt with a matching boob tube. Her mouth dropped open as she seen what was in front of her…this was Polly Ajax, Zax's girlfriend.
"Oh my god, like what the hell is going on?" Polly screamed at the top of her voice, she ran for the counter and gave Kim a karate kick to the chest, which knocked the sex droid to the ground, then she gave Zax a punch in the face which knocked him back into his chair.
"Oww! Polly what did you do that for? Its not what you think…see she's a…"
Polly interrupted, "She's a friend Zax? You said that about the Bolian spiderwoman you slept with three years ago. I don't know why I even bother with you. Is this why you haven't been answering your comm? Is this why you haven't been calling me?"
Zax beckoned her to stop, "Come on, I've been having a tough few months and lately its been worse than ever. Look Kim here is a sexbot that was activated by an Earthling named Hunter, he pressed a couple of buttons on her back and now she can't revert back to her factory settings so I hired her to wipe the windows…and since she's a friggin sex droid, she's coming on to everyone in this goddamn shop!" He took a deep breath.
Polly shook her head, "Sorry baby, but I don't believe it for one second…I mean for one, everyone knows that nothing intelligent lives on Earth. Two is that, why the hell would you hire a sex droid?"
Zax slapped his forehead, "Look Polly, I swear I haven't been doing anything, just believe me on that one thing will you? I'll explain the rest…and Hal can help."
I AM HERE TO SERVE…WHAT CAN I DO?
"Just tell her what's been happening so far please…and use video footage if needs be."
Polly sighed and sat in Zax's seat staring at the video footage of basically anything interesting that happened in the last week or so since our epic saga began. She seemed a little perplexed at the notion that her lickle tiddlypoop is going to be thrown into a slug beast but she was happy with the knowledge that he wasn't cheating on her. She gave Zax a strong hug which nearly squeezed his eyeballs out and gave him a sloppy kiss…then she glared evilly at Kim.
"So Zax honey when are you expecting these men from the company? What are you going to do about it?"
Zax giggled, "Well see…" He whispered into her ear and she let out a loud laugh that echoed down the hallways of the shop. Kim raised an eyebrow and dug her heels into the ground, she was a bit miffed that she wasn't going to be getting any as long as this beast of a woman was keeping her Zaxxy away from her. She decided to go and face off some of the items on a shelf nearby, keeping a close eye on her new arch nemesis.
Hunter climbed as fast as he could to the top of the shelves and looked down at the mandroid with its spinning metal claws, "Look Jim, I'll leave if you want me to…why do you want to kill me?"
The droid stared at Hunter with its menacing red eye which suddenly turned green, "You know what…I don't really know. I shouldn't be like this at all should I? Maybe I'll get back to wor…"
He was interrupted by Hunter, "I know us humans shed skin and hair everywhere and are basically messy creatures…but that isn't really a reason to kill us is it? Just cause you can't get everything spotlessly clean and tidy down to the tiniest molecule, its no reason to kill me! Is it? Eh? Jim? Answer me!"
Jim growled and his red eye flashed back and claws spun around faster this time, he moved into the shelves and pushed it forward, claws pointing upward and waiting for the human to fall. Hunter clung on for dear life as the shelves started swaying backward and forward, he screamed like a woman when he suddenly lost his grip and dropped to the floor, barely missing death by inches. He jumped off his feet and ran towards the sexbots, activating one and it took the form of Kim again.
"How can I please you honey? I'll do anything!" the bot asked just as Jim was speeding towards them. Hunter panicked and shouted an order to the droid, "If you love me you'll fight off that mad robot behind you, just for me honey pie!" The Kimbot giggled and spun around to face the mad droid, she put on her best angry face and leaped into the air, landing on the metal torso of Jim. The mandroid stopped his pursuit to take on the Kimbot and dug his claws in deep, shredding her legs to bits. She screamed and dug her nails into the mandroid's neck.
Hunter panicked again and grabbed a few more sexbots, and started activating them all…they all turned into a naked rendition of his girlfriend Kim, even when he was thinking about other beautiful women! He gathered they wore defective or something but it didn't matter at the moment because the mandroid had finished ripping the Kimbot to shreds. The other Kimbots looked at each other and then at Jim, and finally at Hunter.
"Ok girls just go protect me from that robot will ya? Please?"
They all turned to Jim and lunged with there claw-like nails, Jim stopped in his tracks and retreated down the aisle. Hunter kept running up the aisle and spotted something he was looking at earlier…a portable black hole! He picked up the packaging and ripped it open. The tag on it said, "SURPRISE YOUR FAMILY, FRIENDS, WORK COLLEAGUES WITH A LOOPSMACKALTACK PORTABLE BLACK HOLE…SEND THEM TO ANOTHER DIMENSION, JUST FOR A LAUGH!"
Hunter raised an eyebrow as he suddenly had plans for that dastardly mental mandroid.
Zax was leaning against the counter flicking a Plap in the backside and making it squeal. It was fun harassing the little creatures. He heard some commotion coming from down one of the aisles and looked toward the red eye camera of Hal.
"What's going on?"
Polly was playing with her gum on her finger and looked to Zax, "Seems like a big commotion coming from down there alright."
JIM WAS SUPPOSED TO BE BRINGING THE HUMAN UP HERE BECAUSE THE APE KEPT MESSING WITH SEXBOTS BUT IT SEEMS JIM HAS GONE INTO ONE OF THOSE MOODS WE TALKED ABOUT AGES AGO ZAX, REMEMBER? THAT WHOLE KILLING PEOPLE THING? WELL HUNTER HAS ACTIVATED SIX SEXBOTS AND TOLD THEM TO ATTACK JIM…I'LL KEEP YOU POSTED
Zax sighed, that human brought nothing but trouble since he arrived. It used to be so quite around here and all, serve customer one day…laze about the next. He was going to tell Hunter to go home but, that'll have to wait. He looked towards his nagging girlfriend who he noticed was talking to him, he panicked a bit because he realised he had zoned out. He nodded his head and tuned his ears back in.
"And she said 'No way Polly, you and Zax are engaged? Get out of here!'"
Zax coughed loudly to interrupt her, "Eh engaged? When did that happen? I didn't ask you to marry me!"
Polly's eyes started welling up with tears, "Oh my gawd Zax, you asked me to marry you the night of your birthday remember?"
Zax pondered for a moment on his birthday: Got up, had breakfast, went out for a quiet drink with his friends at the traditional Irish bar of O'Zorknag's, and after that everything went blank. He remembered waking up with Polly sprawled all over him but that was a usual Saturday night anyway. He made a mental note of making sure never to make decisions like that even when he is drunk.
***Now excuse me for interrupting this fair old tale with a little pondering of my own. You may be wondering how an traditional Irish bar got into the universe if humankind had not made it out of their own solar system. Well ya see us Irish are not exactly human, we are an all conquering race from the planet Leprechaunus 5 which have spread our seed into every race in the universe. If you can find Irish in every country on Earth, well that's because we have conquered that planet already. Our goal is to make sure everyone celebrates Paddy's Day, wear green, drink Guinness and basically wish you were us! Our centre point on Earth is a small island called Ireland but we also have outposts in every town across the world, mainly called 'traditional Irish bars'. You may have already noticed out unusually bizarre talent of drinking a lot…well that's because we need alcohol to live. Now that you know our secret, I have sent out a small Leprechaun hitman to kill you and whoever else knows about our masterplan. Now back to the tale…***
"Oh yeah honey I remember, but see after thinkin about it, I think we should hold back for a little while…I think I might be a bit to young yet to get married ya know?"
Polly rubbed her tears in her sleeve, "But you said we'd be together forever, why not marry me and get it over with?"
Zax was praying for the slug beast, "Look to tell you the truth…" He was interrupted by the doors opening and three men in cheap black suits walking in. They walked towards the counter and the man in front produced a card, it said 'LoopSmackaltack Inc. Cleaner #875 Zenith Montoya.' Zax gulped.
Montoya pulled the card away and placed it in his breast pocket, he took a look at the surrounding area of the shop and then at Polly. He sniffed and then looked up at Zax.
"I believe there has been a breach of protocol, your Hal 9000 unit will now be examined. If you would mind stepping aside." The two men behind Montoya stepped forward and started taking equipment out of their jackets, and attaching it to Hal's port sockets.
Montoya eyed Zax and made him feel really uncomfortable until he reached into a jacket and took out an electronic notebook, "Zax Teepax…it is reported that two men walked into the establishment earlier this morning dressed as Space Rangers, one being a human male and the other a cyborg is that correct?"
Zax cleared his throat and nodded, "Yep that's right…mean looking too!"
"And after they purchased some items…they brandished weapons and asked for everything in the register and vault, is that correct?"
Zax nodded, "Yep that's right…mean looking too!"
Montoya raised an eyebrow, "Mmhmm, and then you did a double somersault backwards towards the backroom where you grabbed a plasma rifle…but by the time you returned, a human named Hunter had given them everything they had asked. So once they had left you chased after them in your speeder, firing at them until they warped out of the system…very brave of you."
Zax looked towards Hal and raised his shoulders, "It's the best I could do, unfortunately they had gotten away with the money."
"So why was there a breach of protocol?" Montoya didn't like having his time wasted.
Zax took in a deep breath and made sure the story was correct in his head before sprouting it out of his mouth, "Well see the Earthling in question had been turned into an employee of this shop just before what happened. So basically he broke the rules of protocol…"
Montoya eyed Zax suspiciously, "Yes…may I speak with this Earthling?"
Zax gulped, "Eh yeah, he's just down that middle aisle." He pressed down on the intercom, "Hunter could you please come up to the counter please, your needed up here." A lot of bashing and explosions were heard in response.
"What was that?" Montoya asked as he looked down the aisle, he couldn't see much but the battle ensuing was echoing through the shop.
"We are just having some maintenance problems with our Jim unit, Hunter was just fixing him up."
"A Earth human, with no knowledge whatsoever of mandroid technical skills…is trying to fix the Jim unit?"
Montoya interrupted him, "Zax Teepax, its not the first time your name has been brought to our attention. Your little shop sitting on the edge of the known universe is on my list quite a lot. Multiple accounts of customer deaths have been recorded, due not only to the bad hygiene standards of killer bacteria…but also from your malfunctioning Jim droid who was supposed to be repaired ten years ago. You are always late, you never do anything, you steal from the food stalls, you dress in the clothes you sell, you've sullied our sexbots every day since you started, this shop has been so badly run that LoopSmackaltack himself has forgotten it even existed because no one actually goes here unless they are desperate for death! Not only should you be thrown into a slug beast, I suggest you be tortured for three years before being dissolved in its belly for a thousand years!"
Polly glared at Zax and punched him in the stomach, "Messing around with robots have we? The engagement is off…in fact our whole relationship is off! Zax you can go rot for all I care!" She stormed towards the door and left. Kim perked up a bit but hid behind the shelves so that the men wouldn't see her…but she was thinking about jumping on that Montoya, he was a fox.
Zax smirked, at least one of his problems had been taken care of…to his surprise. He didn't want to lose Polly but he didn't want to be dragged down by marriage, next she'd want babies and her species has a litter of twenty!
Montoya jabbed a finger into Zax's chest and sneered, "You're gonna burn for this one Zax, in fact I'm taking pleasure in this assignment already." His two companions disconnected their machines and joined Montoya, "Hal has downloaded all available information…we now have an arrest warrant for this earth man."
Montoya looked towards the aisle with a sudden interest, "I've always wanted to see what lived on that planet…and now I get to send one to his death."
Hunter was being chased by Jim once more, and Jim was being chased by more than forty sexbots now. The Kimbots had activated all remaining bots on the shelf including ones in the storeroom, so forty had soon grown to sixty. They ran screaming after Jim who's eye was now green and was screaming for help.
"Hunter do something, I don't want to be dismantled!"
Hunter spun around and struck a superhero pose, "Whatever you say jack, take this!" He threw the black hole which slapped to the ground in front of Jim, the mandroid stopped in his tracks and stared at the black blob on the floor. Nothing happened. Hunter groaned as he realised it was only a prank toy.
But then the whistling started and a strong breeze gathered around the aisle until it soon formed a raging twister above the black hole, everything started sucking into it and Hunter grabbed the shelves for dear life. Jim reversed hard but the black hole was sucking him in slowly, he made a whimpering sound as he was lifted off the air and dragged into the small collapsed star. After Jim was gone the black hole closed up and a neon light show shot up into the air saying 'thank you for purchasing a LoopSmackaltack patented black hole, hope your friend got the joke!'
Hunter sighed and fixed his uniform, he was happy now knowing that his remaining time here in the shop would be peaceful without a psychopathic droid after him. He looked at the spot where the black hole disappeared but soon his gaze lifted to the sixty Kimbots staring at him with wild lust. He gulped and bolted down the aisle again followed by a screaming frenzy of naked women.
Everyone was waiting for Hunter and the three men in black were getting impatient. Montoya was about to say something when he heard rushing footsteps coming towards him. It was the earthling dressed in a weird costume.
Hunter slid across the floor and slammed into the counter, he was panting and trying to catch his breath.
"Sex…loads…coming…" Hunter tried to say as he was panting and looking at Zax.
"Ewww, get away from me you mank-ridden ape! No sex and your definitely not coming over me!" Zax said as he backed away from Hunter.
"No…look!" Hunter panted as he pointed down the aisle from which he came. Everyone stared down the aisle but nothing was there, then something fell off the nearby shelf and Kim burst through, falling to the floor.
"Oops, hee…sorry guys!"
Zax looked to Montoya just as the cleaner's face turned red with rage, "Who is that Zax?"
"Eh just another employee, she's a sexbot turned sentient…thanks to the earthling again. We had to employ her or just dismantle her and take it out of my wages, I preferred hiring her."
Hunter grabbed Zax's arm and screamed, "Not her! You damn idiot, look!" Zax looked past Kim to see a black shadow coming from down the aisle, it seemed to be getting bigger with each second. A barrage of footsteps could be heard as the ground started shaking, the shelves in the aisle were being pushed aside and everything was flying through the air.
Zax's mouth dropped, "What the hell did you do Hunter?"
"What is it? WHAT IS IT?" Montoya roared as he took out a Blastemup 9000 pistol from his jacket.
Hunter looked at them both, "Sexbots…"
Sixty Kimbots were rushing down the aisle as fast as their legs could take them, they were climbing over each other, shoving pushing and ripping the place apart all because they wanted to jump into Hunter's pants. The original Kimbot looked down the aisle and screamed, rushing over to the counter, leaping it in one swift jump and hid behind Zax.
Zax pulled out his Zapamatic pistol and aimed it towards the frenzied mob, so did the three men in black, Hunter just stood there with his cool dry wit to protect him.
Hal computed the situation and gave his tactical conclusion, YOUR ALL IN DEEP SHIT
The Kimbots rushed forward and tore to a stop in front of the counter, some pushing and shoving happened in the background but other than that the build up ended in an anti-climax. Zax's gun went off and shot the nearest Kimbot in the face by accident, melting her droid head and her body dropped to the ground. One of the men in black whispered into Montoya's ear, "Have you ever seen so many naked women?"
Montoya replied, "Well yes I have, but I haven't seen so many naked versions of one woman…who is she anyway?"
Hunter looked to Montoya, "My girlfriend back on Earth…these droids just kept turning into her, I think they are malfunctioning."
"Hunter honey, wanna take me rough?" one of the Kimbots asked, another pushed forward with "No take me Hunter, I'll make every fantasy come through!" Suddenly everyone of them burst out with a proposition for lovemaking when suddenly they all stopped and looked at each other.
"He's mine bitch, get your own!" "No way he's all mine, all three inches are branded with my name!" "I seen him first!" "No you didn't I did!" "I did!" No me!" Sixty Kimbots suddenly all turned on each other, nails flashing, hair pulling…punching, kicking, biting, ripping, screaming and killing. The battle of the Kimbots had begun right in front of everyone's eyes. The Kim behind Zax couldn't stop laughing for some reason. Zax looked back at her and raised an eyebrow, "The three inches remark?"
She barely couldn't stop laughing so she could reply, "Haha, that and hahahaha, sixty, hah, sixty sexbots fighting over hahahaha, him!" Zax burst out laughing himself but turned just in time to see a Kimbot flying towards his head, he ducked and the body slammed into the wall behind him. He fired a couple of shots at the Kimbots but he didn't know what he shot at because the shots just disappeared into the crowd of fighting naked women.
Hunter stood enthralled by the image of, now fifty five, naked women all fighting over him.
Montoya couldn't believe what was happening, what would he tell his superiors? He was about to make a bolt for the door when the crowd suddenly moved and the three men were dragged into the fighting mob. They roared in pain as they were ripped to shreds by the Kimbots.
Zax panicked, "Uh oh…we'd better get outta here. This is going to boil over on top of us!"
Hunter jumped onto the counter and looked down on the battle, "Not if I have a say in it!" He reached into his pocket and produced another black hole, ripped the package open and flung the black hole into the middle of the crowd. It almost immediately started to work as the Kimbots in the middle were getting sucked through, grabbing anyone near them.
Hunter jumped off the counter and hid where Zax and Kim were, "Hope that'll clear them all out!"
Zax slapped his forehead, "Yeah it will, but don't you know where it leads?"
Hunter scratched his head, "Didn't read the small print, where?"
"Well see LoopSmackaltack had a funny idea where the black hole dumps them on Earth because it wasn't inhabited…in fact LoopSmackaltack always leaves a small spacecraft waiting there so that the person sucked in can always come back…its supposed to be a joke…but you've just dumped a raging hoard of Kimbots onto an unsuspecting world."
Hunter gulped, "I sent Jim there too…just as he was in the middle of a rage."
Zax couldn't stop laughing, "He has probably slaughtered everyone and if he hasn't, then the Kimbots will finish humankind off for sure…I guess you really are the last man alive eh?"
"But Earth has weapons, we can…"
Zax interrupted, "Earth has weapons, but they are but sticks and stones to Jim's armour…only the Kimbots have a chance of killing Jim but that's not going to happen." He relaxed against the counter and sighed.
ZAX, I HAVE JUST INFORMED HEADQUARTERS ABOUT MONTOYA AND HIS GOONS…I TOLD THEM THEY HAVE LEFT AND ARE SATISFIED THAT JUSTICE HAS BEEN DONE…THEY HAVE NOT QUESTIONED IT.
Zax slapped his hands together, "Well that's nice, everything's wrapped up in a nice little package. Time to sit back and relax, and get some work done eh?" He suddenly realised something, "Who the hell told you to get rid of my Jim droid Hunter? What will I do now for coffee and other pleasantries…not to mention cleaning and stuff. This place is in a shambles."
Kim coughed and nudged, "So how much do I get paid?"
Zax smirked, this was the right time to get a handy new slave droid while being able to get some whenever he wanted, "Kim go around back and get ready, I'll be with you in five minutes." She cooed and rushed off into the back room. Hunter watched as Zax got up off his seat and walked over to Hunter, "I have plans for you my friend…your not going to be missed one little tiny bit…especially as you're the last of your kind!"
Hunter backed off, "What are you going to do?"
One month later, everything seemed to be back to normal in the Last Stop Gas and Shop. Zax was laying back in his chair and reading a magazine, idly wasting time and waiting until he could close up shop…and he only just arrived. He took in a deep breath and sighed, "Hunter, where's my coffee? And don't forget I want that slug danish hot!" he bellowed. A familiar rolling sound could be heard and out from the kitchen came the newest addition to the shop, the H.U.N.T.E.R. mandroid. H.U.N.T.E.R. stood for Human Under Netromatic Titanium Endoskeleton Robotware. He looked basically like the Jim droid except he had more arms and moved faster, he had the same little eyepiece and all!
He rolled out towards the counter and laid down the coffee and danish, "Here you are Zax, just the way you like it."
Zax nodded, "It sure is…now go mop the floors again. And do some of Kim's work cause she'll be busy for a good half hour."
Hunter's eyepiece turned red and his four metal claws started spinning around, but Zax just pressed a little green button on the counter which sent a little electric shock into Hunter's brain making him feel lots of pain. Inside Hunter's head he was screaming kill me, but he had to obey or more pain would come.
Kim wandered out from down one of the aisles, she looked disheveled, her hair was everywhere…there were bags under her eyes, badly put make ran down her face and she looked terrible. The sexbots weren't supposed to be left on twenty four hours a day but when LoopSmackaltack found out about her, it turned the shop into a 24hr convenience store. So not only did she work the night shift, she worked Zax's shift and performed her daily duties for him…her battery was burning out.
Zax didn't care, it was all part of this silly job to him…when he left here he lives his real life. He just does this for the money, and torturing the last human, and a sexbot was just a bit of fun until clocking out time. Life couldn't get any better…
And that ends our tale of the weirdest little shop in the known galaxy, just on the edge of the Sol system where on one of its planets, a mandroid named Jim has become a God and an army of sexbots controls his slave population.
Zax lived on and had a pretty fruitful life…ok basically all he ever does is the same thing everyday but he enjoys it. Plus he gets into zany situations once in a while.
Hunter unfortunately lived on as a slave droid for a thousand years until his battery died, and headquarters replaced it and he lived on for another thousand years.
Kim however kicked the bucket a day after we finished our tale, Zax was still attached to her when she reverted back to the smaller robot form causing a pretty funny incident in the shop. Needless to say Zax felt a lot of pain…
Hal, having all the knowledge of the universe crammed into his data banks, went on as shop supercomputer…recording little minute details which to his aggravated personality, doesn't mean squat in the universe and its workings.
Yep it sure is!